THE NETHERLANDS 51°56’26.5”N 4°28’25.1”E
LAURA ZALENGA
“ I know how vulnerable it can feel, and that understanding helps me create a space where people can let their guard down.”
the start of my love for photography is a pretty common one. As a child and teenager, I was always drawn to creativity—drawing, building things, finding ways to express myself visually. When I was around 17, I got my hands on a tiny digital point-and-shoot camera. By today’s standards, it was a limited tool, but it ignited a fiery passion for the medium in me. I love the fact that you see the outcome directly and experimenting can be fast-paced. After an initial phase of photographing flowers and my cats, I turned to self- portraiture. It was the easiest way to have a human subject without feeling like I was bothering anyone with my limited skills at the beginning. Many photographers start this way and then move on to photographing others, but I never wanted to give up the unique possibilities that come with using my own body as my medium. Over time, I learned to capture other people as well, but expressing personal emotions or stories through someone else always felt like an unnecessary detour. When I photograph others, it’s about them—I love to truly show them, their story, their life. But when it comes to translating my own inner world into images, self-portraiture is the way that feels right. I do wonder: Why don’t more people take self-portraits? (Just to clarify, I don’t mean selfies—we see plenty of those.) Maybe I’m biased, but I struggle to think of another photographic genre that offers the same level of freedom. It’s been said many times before, probably because it’s true: self-portraiture has a deeply therapeutic aspect. For years, it was my diary, my safe space. It allowed me to explore who I was, to express emotions without inhibition, to exist without fear of judgment. It helped me accept myself, not just in terms of appearance, but on a deeper level. That process is ongoing, but looking back, I can see how much I’ve grown. Beyond that, self-portraiture taught me what it feels like to be in front of the camera, which made me a better photographer when working with others. I know how vulnerable it can feel, and that understanding helps me create a space where people can let their guard down. One of the things I love most about self-portraiture is the endless room for experimentation. I can create whenever I want, wherever I want, for as long as I want. That kind of independence fuels my creativity. It might also be a necessity in my case, since I have aphantasia, meaning I can’t visualise images in my mind. That makes planning more difficult, so I’ve learned to rely on what’s around me, letting my surroundings spark spontaneous ideas. In a way, it feels like solving a puzzle without a right answer, and I love that. It has made me more adaptable, more willing to embrace the unexpected.
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MOTHER VOLUME FOUR
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