EMBRACED BY A COMMUNITY OF CARE Bow Valley Community Brings Support for the Callaghan Family
Bow Valley resident Brian Callaghan has experienced first-hand what it means to have a village of support for himself, his wife and their children when they were in need. Since the death of his wife, Brian has supported the need for hospice care in the Bow Valley. Not only that, he advocates for families to openly accept the community support as it is offered.
"I realized I could not be all things to all people."
From the moment of our birth until we die, we are part of a community. The degree to which we engage in this community of friends, neighbours, colleagues, service clubs, faith groups and general society is in my view transactional. We offer of our time, talent, and resources in an exchange of purpose, common good, shared beliefs, and values. For many it affords us a life in which we grow within ourselves when we participate in activities and relationships that serve a goal or enrichment beyond ourselves. We move from a state of individual life focus and self-fulfillment to one with community purpose. Throughout our lives the dependance and acceptance of the attributes of community: such as the messages of joy at the birth of a child, comradeship within one’s line of work, car pooling with a friend as we move our children through the events of their life, to the shoulder on which we may need to lean or at times cry, form the tapestry of community life. All of the above are true in my family’s life experience. When my wife Helmi was diagnosed with a mixed glioma brain tumor at the age of 33 our life was changed forevermore. With four small children ranging in age from 3 to 10 and the need to continue working, we found ourselves enveloped in the embrace of a community of care. Helmi was immediately surrounded by a group of women who throughout her journey gave her their unqualified support and affection. They took her to appointments, sent us delicious food and treats, took her on hikes into Lake O’Hara, on long walks by the Bow River and to a Rolling Stones concert! The members of our church were only a phone call away as I realized I could not be all things to all people.
Community is there for people as a place where one will find both the tangible attributes as mentioned and the existential. As we will all come to an end one day, it is my hope for each of us that beyond our resumes, which chronicles our worldly accomplishments, we will be remembered by our eulogistic resumes. This resume is one of remembrance. The way in which you will be spoken of. The members of this community will say that you were, loving, kind, compassionate and that you left the community a better place because of your contributions to nurturing it. Throughout the course of our family's life journey this community gave all the above to us. We had to accept the love and support we needed willingly and openly. It was difficult at times to receive such care at our time of passage, but we knew in our hearts the source was true. This was especially so when Helmi’s women’s group would meet at our kitchen table to plan her Living Funeral and Celebration of Life service while I prepared supper. It was at times surreal yet at the same time a worldly manifestation of a community expressing its love and concern for our family. When we care for the needs of one, we care for the entire community. In caring and through action we bring meaning to our lives and build better communities for all. In fact, we build the community we want and need.
We'd like to thank Brian Callaghan for his contribution to our newsletter.
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