WINNER ZOOM LOSER All of us stuck in Zoom meetings... LOSER-LOSER People who have their laptops accidently positioned so that everyone on the Zoom meeting can see your cat using the litter box... LOSER-LOSER-LOSER People who have their laptops accidently positioned so that everyone can see you failed to wear pants to the meeting...
LOSER THE STOCK MARKET WINNER THE STOCK MARKET LOSER People who didn’t get their money out of the stock market in time... WINNER People who didn’t get their money out of the stock market in time... LOSER Anybody trying to figure out the stock market... LOSER RESTAURANTS With one in four expected to go out of business permanently. WINNER DINERS With tables now required to be farther apart, you can hear your dining companion easier than the lout at the table next to you. WINNER THE LONE RANGER Although he had to move his mask down over his nose and mouth. LOSER TONTO Needed to self-quarantine for 14 days because Kemosabe refused to practice social distancing with outlaws.
WINNER PERFECTLY TENDED GARDEN PLOTS LOSER OVER-WATERED HOUSE PLANTS “We’re having a little drink, Mr. Philodendron, wouldn’t you like one too?”
American Consequences
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