American Consequences - June 2020

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BOREDOM CONTINUES AT THE O'ROURKE HOME

THREE MONTHS into the coronavirus pandemic and everything is beginning to return to... the new abnormal. (Note for language geeks: “Pan” was the name of a Greek god who presided over the wilderness and hence was the source of the “panic” we feel when we get lost in the woods. The prefix “pan-” derives from the Greek word for “all.” Therefore “panic” and “ pan demic” don’t actually have any etymological relationship to each other – but they should.) I’m still panicked. Well, that’s putting it too strongly... But at my age (old) and state of physical fitness (none), I continue to be cautious. Partly, this is out of concern for my health. And partly this is because I look too ridiculous to go out. It’s been about a gerbil’s lifespan since I got my last haircut. My hair has gotten to the point where I’m going to have to make a decision between a man bun and a buzz cut from the beard-trimming attachment on my electric razor.

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It’s been about a gerbil’s lifespan since I got my last haircut. My hair has gotten to the point where I’m going to have to make a decision between a man bun and a buzz cut from the beard- trimming attachment on my electric razor. mouth to keep him from spreading whatever he’s got – including some political opinions that would cause his barber pole to be yanked down like a Confederate war hero statue by protestors. That is, if we had any protestors in rural New Hampshire or, for that matter, any Confederate war hero statues. Where I live in rural New Hampshire, stay- at-home restrictions have been partially lifted. Barbershops are open. But my barber is such a chatterbox that he’d have to wear a mask and a veil and have a towel stuffed in his

American Consequences

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