tion. Sometimes they lie in order to achieve status. They may lie because parents are too strict about small things. They may also lie because they are put under pressure and lying is the only way to get out of it. Parents would do well to consider a number of questions along this line. Are you often comparing him unfavorably with someone else? Could you be putting him under too much pressure, exacting work or be havior which he cannot possible pro duce? If he doesn’t have an adequate self-concept, or is depreciated too much, his lying may in reality be an attempt to build himself up. In dealing with a child who fre quently lies, it is important to real ize that this behavior is only a symp tom of his real difficulty. As a wise parent, I think you need to take a psychological look at your son or daughter and try to understand why he is lying. You have taken the first step. Now as you continue to search out the causes for your children’s lying, you will surely find them. We have prepared a booklet which you may find helpful. It is called “ Your Children,” booklet #38. Any reader may request it free of charge. IS SUICIDE HEREDITARY? Q. A friend o f ours has just attend ed the funeral of a relative who has committed suicide. She wonders if the tendency to commit suicide is hereditary. What do you think about this? A . God has placed the desire to live in the heart of every human being. Even when we don’t feel well or when we are experiencing severe trial and testing, most of us still want to keep on living. I do not know of any research studies which would indicate that suicidal tendencies are hereditary. Sometimes on rare occasions we hear of several members of one family who might take their own life, such as a grandfather, father and a son. But rather than being due to heredi- cary factors, it is an indication that they are mentally ill. When a person is mentally ill, he may become so depressed that he feels anything would be better than the circumstances in which he lives. So he seeks to escape by taking his own life. Several members of a family could conceivably live under similar stress es and pressures which would pre vent them from developing good men tal health. Their suicidal tendencies develop as a result of this rather than from hereditary factors.
'ffilkUt/fltovVt" with Dr. Clyde M. Narramore Dr. Narramore, graduate of Columbia University, New York City, is a nationally known psychologist. He is the director of one of America’s largest psy chological clinics / The Christian Counseling Center in Rosemead, California.
It goes like this: “ Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new crea ture [or new creation]. Old things are passed away; behold all things have become [are becoming] new.” This may be what these children need. They can go to church and Sunday school all their life without its affecting them on the inside very much. However, there are also many other reasons why children lie. Since they hear many fairy tales and stories, it is not unusual for them occasionally to invent imaginative stories. These present no problem as long as a child is shown that his stories are imagina tive. But if he should consistently resort to fantasy in order to gain pleasure and satisfaction which he does not find in his environment, it becomes serious and indicates a need for professional help. Also children may hear or partici pate in untruthful situations. The child whose mother sends him to tell a visitor that she is not home can easily develop the belief that lying is acceptable. The truthful example of parents is vital in helping children form good attitudes. It is not uncommon for children to brag or exaggerate information. This need not cause concern for the parent who helps a child understand the inaccuracy of his statements and the desirability of telling the truth. Faced with the possibility of pun ishment, a child often turns to lying to avoid the consequences of his be havior. When he is punished if he admits guilt, but not punished when he conceals the truth, it is only nat ural that he will continue using this means to avoid an unpleasant situa tion. However, if he realizes that by telling the truth his parents will at tempt to assist him in his difficulties rather than punishing him, he will be encouraged to be more truthful. When parents recognize misbehavior and confront the child with it rather than trying to draw it out of him, they remove his temptation to avoid an unpleasant situation by lying. Children who feel neglected, in secure or inferior will often develop lying as a means of gaining atten
READER FOR THE BLIND Q. A new friend of mine, a totally blind person, is recovering from a nervous breakdown. He finds your literature and writings so helpful. I have encouraged him to listen to your radio broadcast too. Thank you again for the encourag ing correspondence. It has inspired me to keep on and enlarge whatever areas o f usefulness the Lord has given me. I praise Him for feet to take me where I want to go and eyes to see the sunset glow. He is most gracious to give me the privilege of reading, seeing, and interpreting for the blind. A. This lady wrote me some time ago. All she had was just a husband and house to care for since her children were grown and away from home. She didn’t know what to do. I suggested that she get busy in vesting herself in other people—visit ing hospitals and convalescent homes. There are so many elderly and shut- in men and women who could benefit from the concern and comfort of others. She visited a place where many blind people live and discovered she was actually an excellent reader. Now she is opening up the entire world for these blind men and women. WHY DO CHILDREN LIE? Q. What should I do about my chil dren telling lies? They are seven and eight years old. We go to Sunday school and church, and they know better; but they lie to suit them selves. A . You know, there are many reasons why children tell lies. One reason they do is because of their nature. As a psychologist, studying people and working with them, I realize that human nature is not perfect. We all have a tendency toward imperfec tion; we all have a tendency to lie. The Bible says there is none right eous, no, not one. It may be that these children are lying because they are still living in their old natures. We find in the Word a wonderful portion of Scripture which tells about the new life a person can have in Christ.
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THE KING'S BUSINESS
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