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Notes From The Field
February 2026
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Love and Death Navigating Anger Amid the Death of a Loved One
When a loved one dies, overwhelming pain becomes a constant companion. Continuing our daily routine feels insurmountable, and the world loses its vibrancy as we carry on without them. Navigating this strange new world evokes complicated emotions, with anger among the most uncomfortable to face. The truth is that our anger is tied up with the love we have for the person we lost, and we owe it to ourselves and that relationship to accept the anger and see what it holds for us. As we explore anger in grief, it is common to reference the stages of grief and their implications for healing. Dr. Elisabeth Kübler- Ross introduced this model titled “5 Stages of Death,” examining the emotions of those facing their final days. This research aimed to understand the experiences of those who are ill and dying. Unfortunately, applying this model to the bereaved often causes people to feel dysfunctional when their grief does not align with these expectations. Dr. Kübler-Ross offers a different model for those navigating sudden change. The “Kübler-Ross Change Curve” presents seven emotional responses and makes it clear that these are not experienced linearly but rather cyclically, often overlapping or repeating.
The stages are shock, denial, frustration, depression, experiment, decision, and integration. For the purposes of this conversation, consider the anger as part of frustration and the ways it can overlap with the other stages. When dealing with anger, remember that it often appears as a secondary emotion, an indicator to examine underlying feelings and your desired outcome. Picture anger as an iceberg: large and intimidating on the surface but concealing deeper, more vulnerable emotions. Unexamined anger can keep us fixated on its object rather than addressing its cause. Now, when anger shows up after the death of a loved one, we point to the death as the cause, cease further reflection, and ultimately feel powerless when faced with our emotions. While death is often the inciting event, the cause is more complicated. Our grief and anger exist in the full context of our relationship with the deceased, spanning the hopes and love left unfulfilled. As such, we must examine this complex web of emotions to grasp the root cause of our feelings. At this point, consider that anger is a powerful emotion that has no inherent morality. Like most emotions, it merely is, and we are responsible for its expressions. Anger is often viewed negatively due to its destructive power when left unchecked. The lack of examination is harmful not only because we can experience a wider range of emotions than just anger and sadness, but also because when left unchecked, anger harms both ourselves and our close relationships. Too often, anger moves people to act irrationally and hatefully toward the person who happens to be near them.
Destruction is not anger’s only potential; it can serve as a guide to understanding what needs to be changed. Returning to the iceberg imagery, consider what discoveries wait beneath the metaphorical surface of your anger. Ask questions like, “What sparked this bout of anger?” “Is my anger a reaction to this incident? Is there a different cause?” “How can I accept my anger while not wielding it against others?” This act of addressing your anger separately creates necessary space for you to honor your feelings without inflicting harm. As you return to a calmer baseline, consider what the underlying emotion(s) might be. So, what now? What do you do when your loved one is gone, and you feel anger burning through you? To start, honor that anger and grief while your love feels without a place to direct it. Do not rush away from this experience, but be careful not to direct your internal state against others. It is helpful to set clear expectations with your friends and family and to excuse yourself when your anger feels overwhelming. Allow yourself to be vulnerable with people you trust and invite them to care for you as you navigate loss. Too often, our grief isolates us and insists that we are too much for ourselves and others. This is categorically false and leads to greater pain and unresolved anger. When we face our anger and share the depth of our hurt with others, we choose love as the prevailing force amid our grief. And, in the words of Vision from Marvel’s show “WandaVision,” “What is grief, if not love persevering?”
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The Price of Planning Ahead INFLATION’S HIDDEN IMPACT ON YOUR ESTATE
Most of us notice inflation when we check out at the grocery store, not when we think about our estate plan. Prices for everyday items are creeping up, but those same price changes can also impact the value of what we own. When that happens, our estate plan may need a second look. Inflation means that money doesn’t stretch as far as it used to. A dollar today buys less than it did a few years
ago. Homes, cars, and investments all fluctuate in value due to inflation. In the 1950s, the average home sold for about $7,400. Today, it’s well over $370,000. Wages have also increased, albeit at a slower pace. That gap explains why inflation matters when estate planning. When the cost of goods and property rises, the total value of our estate rises with it. That sounds positive, but it can also push an estate closer to federal or state tax thresholds. A house valued at $1 million today might be worth $1.5 million in a few years, and that extra half-million could create new tax questions. Families sometimes find themselves paying more in taxes, only to watch those assets drop in value soon after. The best way to handle this issue is to plan early and keep your plans updated. We can start by reviewing our estate annually and comparing it to current tax limits. Adding beneficiary designations to accounts, such as life insurance or retirement funds, keeps those assets outside the taxable estate. Giving modest gifts to family or charities can reduce overall value while allowing us to see the results in our lifetimes. Inflation is constantly changing, and our plans should adapt to it accordingly. Reviewing what we’ve built every year helps ensure that our loved ones receive what we intend, without unwelcome surprises when the time comes.
RESOLUTE PRACTICES: ACTIVE LISTENING
For 2026, we are exploring practices that have the capacity to shape our lives and make us more resolute. To recap, being resolute is not about blindly standing by your current thoughts. It is about self-examination that leads to a deeper understanding of your beliefs. From that foundation, you can remain steadfast while demonstrating compassion, integrity, and being true to your word. Last month, we talked about gratitude and how the act of being grateful helps you discover new meaning in your life. This month, I invite you to practice active listening. Like gratitude, active listening is often not considered when someone attempts to ground themselves in their beliefs, but it provides an on-ramp to greater understanding. To accomplish this, you must first consider that there may be gaps in your current ideology. When you are open to this notion, you welcome new input from trustworthy sources (friends, family, credible research, etc.). The key is to listen intently
and focus on the information they are sharing. Too often, people spend the listening portion of a conversation crafting their responses instead of hearing and processing what their conversation partner is saying. If you are unsure how to begin, consider practicing some of these tips in your next conversation. 1. Ask clarifying questions. Instead of responding immediately with your own thoughts or opinions, seek
3. Be patient. You must be willing to sit in silence, comfortable or not. When you show the speaker you are fully present and not rushing them, they are more likely to be candid. As you employ these techniques, consider keeping a journal to track your personal growth. The more conscious you are of your habits and their impact, the more likely you are to see improvement in the desired areas of your life.
understanding from the person speaking.
2. Give your full, undivided attention,
and use nonverbal cues to show you are listening. This involves removing distractions (putting your phone down, turning off the television, pausing music, etc.) and shifting your body toward your conversation partner. While they speak, be sure to remain open with your body language by uncrossing arms and legs and nodding as appropriate.
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In 1989, a children’s show featuring singing puppets managed something no politician had. It slipped quietly across the Iron Curtain. For the first time, “Fraggle Rock” appeared on television in the USSR, bringing Jim Henson’s underground world of Fraggles, Doozers, and Gorgs into Soviet living rooms. The story began years earlier. By the early 1980s, Henson was already famous for “The Muppet Show” and “Sesame Street,” but he wanted to create something bigger than ratings. He dreamed of a show that carried a message of peace and wasn’t bound by national borders or languages. Puppets, he believed, were the perfect characters for that type of program. The result was “Fraggle Rock,” a hopeful experiment in connection. The Fraggles didn’t reach Russia overnight. During the Cold War, few American programs managed to cross the Iron Curtain. But in 1982, Henson’s fantasy film “The Dark Crystal” became a surprise hit at the Moscow Film Festival. There were sold-out screenings and crowds lined up outside theaters. That success opened a door. As the Soviet Union began to change under Mikhail Gorbachev’s reforms, Soviet television grew more open to ideas from outside countries. On Jan. 8, 1989, Soviet audiences saw their first episode of “Fraggle Rock.” The response was overwhelming. Ratings were unprecedented, and later that year, the entire first season began airing, dubbed with a Russian narrator. It arrived months before the Berlin Wall fell. For Henson, who died the following spring, the Fraggles’ appearance on Soviet airwaves was one of his last great accomplishments. After Henson’s passing, his dream lived on. A few years later, Russia produced its own version of “Sesame Street.” For a time, children on both sides of the world grew up watching the same small creatures solve problems with laughter. Maybe that was the peace Henson hoped for all along. Fraggle Rock’s Cold War Breakthrough Puppets Behind the Iron Curtain
TAKE A BREAK
DREAM EQUALITY FESTIVAL GROUNDHOG HEARTS KING LINCOLN MUFFIN PANCAKE
RABBIT ROSES
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818-369-7900 435-216-4444 FieldLawPC.com
P.O. Box 8306 La Crescenta, CA 91224 INSIDE THIS ISSUE
P.O. Box 910760 St. George, UT 84791
1
Navigate Anger Amid the Death of a Loved One
2
Inflation-Proofing Your Estate for the Future
Resolute Practices: Active Listening
3
The Day the Fraggles Reached the USSR
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A Hollywood Actor’s Thoughtful Final Act
THE PLAN BEHIND THE LEGEND Estate Lessons From Paul Newman
Paul Newman was more than a movie legend. He built race cars, funded hospitals, and turned salad dressing into one of the most successful charitable brands in the world. But one of his quietest accomplishments happened away from the spotlight. When he planned his estate, he handled it with the same thought and discipline he brought to everything else. When he passed away in 2008, Newman’s estate was worth hundreds of millions of dollars. That alone isn’t what makes his plan remarkable. What stands out is how carefully he put it together. He had a detailed will, a private trust to keep his finances out of the public
foundation that still bears his name. Newman’s image, his company, and the earnings that continue to fund projects across the country also went to the foundation. He also took care of the practical side of things. By setting up the right trusts, he delayed certain taxes, ensuring his wife would be cared for before the government took its share. Newman even included provisions for various asset types, including his race cars and airplanes. He directed the proceeds from those to his residuary estate. Ultimately, his plan was practical, generous, and designed to last.
eye, and two trusted people ready to manage the details. Newman even included a clause discouraging legal disputes because he knew arguments over money can divide even the closest of families. His decisions reflected what mattered in his life. Newman’s wife, Joanne Woodward, kept their home and personal belongings. His Oscars, Golden Globes, and other awards went to the
Most of us don’t have a Hollywood fortune to divide, but we still face the same questions. Whom do we trust to handle things when we’re gone? What should continue to work long after we stop? Newman showed that good planning has less to do with money and more to do with making things clear for the people you care about. And his name still funds good work, which is a legacy worth having.
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