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N ovember 2021
F amilies C ome in A ll S hapes and S izes
CELEBRATING ADOPTION AWARENESS MONTH
November is Adoption Awareness Month, and we handle many adoption cases at The Manely Firm. When most people think of adoption, they think of stranger adoptions, in which parents adopt a child they have never met before. While those adoptions go through agencies, our attorneys help with what we call friendly or family adoptions. Family adoptions consist of an existing caretaker for the child becoming their legal parent. In most cases, the person adopting the child is a stepparent, but we also help grandparents, aunts, uncles, and family friends adopt children they’ve been caring for. Often, the catalyst for adoption is the death of a parent. If the child’s mother has died and the father has remarried, for example, in many cases the stepmother will take on the role of mom and eventually adopt the child. The adoption formalizes the relationship. If anything were to happen to the child’s father, or if the couple were to divorce, the stepmother would still be the child’s legal parent. And the adoptive parent will be able to make decisions about the child’s well-being or medical care. Sometimes, both parents die and another family member has to take custody of the child. We had one case where a child was born to an American father and a South American mother. The mother became ill and passed away, and the father was murdered due to his involvement in the illegal drug trade. Our client, the child’s stepuncle, was able to bring the child to the U.S. — and with our help, he was able to formally adopt him. This kid has had a very traumatic life, but he has been able to settle down in suburban Georgia with a family that loves him, and that makes us so happy. In other cases, a child’s parents may be alive but simply absent. While it’s relatively easy for most people to create a child, that’s just procreation, not parenting. And, unfortunately, some parents aren’t up for the job. Often, parents decide they can’t take care of their children and ask their own parents or siblings to watch them. While these arrangements usually begin as temporary, in many cases, weeks turn into months and months turn into years. Having an absent parent can be extremely difficult for a child, who doesn’t understand the drug addiction, mental health issues, or just plain selfishness driving the behavior. The child only knows rejection. (For more on this, see Page 3.) Formalizing the relationship between the child and the person who has been their real parent in every sense of the word can be healing and help a child move forward in a stable environment.
Adoption cases aren’t exactly fun work, because they usually begin with some sort of tragedy for a child. But there is joy in the resolution. We’re proud to help families enshrine their relationships into law. We know there is no one-size-fits-all family, and we’re glad to help our clients receive the legal status they deserve. –Michael Manely
We have a new office! We’ve opened a new office, serving North Fulton, Cherokee, Pickens, Dawson, Lumpkin, and Hall. Come visit us today! The Manely Firm, P.C. 102 Mary Alice Park Road Suite 602 Cumming, GA 30040 (770) 421-0808
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O vercoming the I mpossible T ask Improving Your Mental Heal th One Step at a Time Almost everyone at some point has encountered a task that is seemingly simple, but no matter what they do, they can’t complete it. These tasks can be as straightforward as making the bed or something bigger, like cleaning an entire room. For many, this is an obstacle that they may want to do but can’t, which weighs heavily on them and becomes detrimental to their mental health.
It’s important to understand that the impossible task is not a sign of laziness; depression and anxiety can make any task feel much bigger and more difficult than it actually is. If you find yourself unable to do the things you need or want to do, try these techniques to help overcome your obstacles. Break up the task. When the overarching task feels daunting, breaking it up into smaller segments can help you manage it. If you’re cleaning the kitchen, clean for only a few minutes at a time before taking a break. It might take longer, but the space will be clean at the end of the day. Make the task more enjoyable. Play music or involve your pet in some way to make the task fun or create a reward system for yourself. For example, tidying a specific area of the house or folding a basket of laundry may earn you time to play video games or watch TV. Alternating tasks and rewards is a great way to overcome any task, big or small.
mind. If the objective is not so urgent, determine its importance and if the task can be saved for another day.
When all else fails, you can always ask someone for support or even pay someone else to do the task for you. No matter what you decide, there are ways to defeat the impossible task.
It can help to consider why the task feels so impossible, especially if you used to enjoy it. Try to remember what made it enjoyable and see if you can return to that state of
M eet A ccounting M anager R on A nderson !
“I learned a lot through on-the-job training,” he says, “and then after probably 10 years, I got my accounting degree.” Following his stint in insurance, he worked in accounting at a furniture company for about 20 years before deciding to do something different. Ron has now been the accounting manager at The Manely Firm for a little over a year. “I oversee all of the billing, accounts receivable, accounts payable, and payroll for the entire company,” he says. “I also prepare the bookkeeping and I’m responsible for the company’s financial statements.” He appreciates that The Manely Firm uses automated processes that allow clients to receive and pay their bills online. “It’s very user-friendly,” he says. Ron also enjoys getting to learn more about the law side of the business. “One of the first things I noticed,” he jokes, “is that attorneys are people, too! Many of us think attorneys are scary, but they’re just like the rest of us.”
Ron was born and raised in Atlanta and has been married to his wife Kathy since 1995. Kathy’s son from a previous relationship has blessed them with four grandchildren ranging in age from 14–21. Ron and Kathy live at Lake Lanier and enjoy taking the boat out on the water whenever they can. They’re also big NASCAR fans and have visited nine different race tracks across the country. Ron loves classic cars, and it’s his dream to restore a Mustang. “I really like working with Michael and Sheila,” he says. “They make you feel special and value your input and opinions.” Most of all, Ron says he enjoys watching The Manely Firm thrive. “We’re growing and growing, and it’s exciting to see us opening up new offices. It’s great to be part of that and bring my experience in finance to help the The Manely Firm succeed.”
Ron Anderson’s journey into the world of accounting wasn’t planned. “I stumbled into it and ran with it,” he says. It all began back in 1985 when he started helping a neighbor with her yard work. She helped him in return, by hiring him at the insurance company where she was the head of accounting.
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Therapy Can Help Children With Absent Parents
“T he best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched — they must be felt with the heart .” — H elen K eller
Children naturally expect their parents to be there for them, so when one or both parents are absent, it has a profound effect on their self-esteem and sense of worth. To help these children develop the skills they need to cope, we often recommend that the child’s current guardian have them begin seeing a therapist. A child with one or more absent parents will often blame themselves and wonder what they can do to convince their parent to love them. They will often suffer from anxiety, poor academic performance, or difficulty forming relationships with other people. Children who grow resentful can begin behaving aggressively, and they are more likely to engage in drug or alcohol use during adolescence. Some absent parents will occasionally reenter their child’s life, which can in many ways be even worse. The child will build up expectations and be let down when their parent loses interest or takes off again. Any feelings of abandonment or resentment previously dealt with can then bubble back up to the surface and cause a lot of emotional distress. While some people still believe there’s a stigma associated with therapy, it’s no different than getting your child other types of medical care they need. If your child broke a leg and had difficulty walking after it healed, wouldn’t you take them to a physical therapist for help? Getting therapy for a child with an absent parent is just the emotional version of this type of care. If you’re the child’s primary caregiver, you can actually be uniquely unable to help them process their feelings, because you’ve got skin in the game. If your ex, your child, or your sibling has exited their child’s life, you’re probably angry and protective. While that’s normal, it will make it difficult for the child to share their feelings with you. Even if your child seems to be coping effectively with their parent’s absence, therapy gives them a neutral person to vent to. A good child therapist can create a safe space and provide a new perspective on their situation. If the child feels safely heard about what they’re going through, they’re much more likely to process their emotions healthily and go on to thrive.
E asy C ranberry -A pple S alad
Inspired by CookieAndKate.com
Want the taste of fall without the calories? Try this quick and easy salad, topped with homemade apple cider vinaigrette.
I ngredients
For the salad: •
For the dressing: •
1/4 cup dried pumpkin seeds
1/4 cup olive oil
• •
5 cups salad mix
• • • •
1 1/2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
2 Granny Smith apples, chopped into bite-size pieces
1 1/2 tsp honey
1 tsp Dijon mustard
• •
1/3 cup dried cranberries
Salt and pepper to taste
1/3 cup goat cheese, crumbled
D irections 1. In a skillet over medium heat, toast the pumpkin seeds until fragrant, then set aside.
2. In a small jar or bowl, whisk together all dressing ingredients, then set aside.
3. Combine all salad ingredients in a large bowl. Drizzle with dressing until lightly coated, then toss and serve!
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211 Roswell St. NE Marietta, GA 30060 (866) 687-8561 www.allfamilylaw.com
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Adoption Awareness Month
Overcoming the Impossible Task Meet Accounting Manager Ron Anderson! Therapy Can Help Children With Absent Parents Easy Cranberry-Apple Salad
The Big Debate Surrounding Alexander the Great’s Death
W as A lexander the G reat B uried … A live ?! Historians Debate the Fate of One of the World’s Great Conquerors
For centuries, the ancient Greeks ruled most of Europe and the world, and one man is credited with unifying this historically powerful mass of people under one rule for 13 years: Alexander the Great. Alexander is most known for his hard-fought capture of land all across the globe after succeeding his father on the throne at just 20 years old. But Alexander’s rise came crashing down when he died just 12 years later.
Today, the facts of his death are starting to piece together a curious puzzle for historians, because some now believe Alexander was buried alive.
Surprisingly (and terrifyingly), this wasn’t uncommon. For centuries, doctors struggled to definitively prove someone was dead because many of the classic signs of death are similar to those of someone in a comatose state. This became such a common problem into the 20th century that people were buried in specialty coffins or with a bell tied around their hand to alert grave watchers. (As bodies decomposed, you can imagine how this created eerie occurrences.) Experts believe Alexander the Great may be one of history’s first recorded instances of such a death. After 12 days of abdominal pain that led to a fever and paralysis, ancient Greek doctors couldn’t detect a breath from their great ruler, and he was declared dead. As the massive empire mourned, Alexander’s body was prepared for the afterlife, but he didn’t show signs of decomposition for six days. This only fed the belief that Alexander — like other rulers of his time — was part god.
Dr. Katherine Hall of the University of Otago, New Zealand, believes this suggests that Alexander wasn’t yet dead. In fact, he may have been suffering from a rare bacterial infection that attacks the nervous system and leads to paralysis, which could result in the lack of breath. As such, Dr. Hall believes he was entombed alive, making him one of the first to suffer a “false death.” However, other historians are quick to say Dr. Hall’s theory is too speculative to be taken as fact. Among the common counter arguments, Dr. Hall’s reliance on data and details collected centuries after his death can be troublesome.
We may not know exactly how Alexander died, but with Hall’s theory, some of the final pieces of the puzzle may fall into (an eerie) place.
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