Therapy Can Help Children With Absent Parents
“T he best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched — they must be felt with the heart .” — H elen K eller
Children naturally expect their parents to be there for them, so when one or both parents are absent, it has a profound effect on their self-esteem and sense of worth. To help these children develop the skills they need to cope, we often recommend that the child’s current guardian have them begin seeing a therapist. A child with one or more absent parents will often blame themselves and wonder what they can do to convince their parent to love them. They will often suffer from anxiety, poor academic performance, or difficulty forming relationships with other people. Children who grow resentful can begin behaving aggressively, and they are more likely to engage in drug or alcohol use during adolescence. Some absent parents will occasionally reenter their child’s life, which can in many ways be even worse. The child will build up expectations and be let down when their parent loses interest or takes off again. Any feelings of abandonment or resentment previously dealt with can then bubble back up to the surface and cause a lot of emotional distress. While some people still believe there’s a stigma associated with therapy, it’s no different than getting your child other types of medical care they need. If your child broke a leg and had difficulty walking after it healed, wouldn’t you take them to a physical therapist for help? Getting therapy for a child with an absent parent is just the emotional version of this type of care. If you’re the child’s primary caregiver, you can actually be uniquely unable to help them process their feelings, because you’ve got skin in the game. If your ex, your child, or your sibling has exited their child’s life, you’re probably angry and protective. While that’s normal, it will make it difficult for the child to share their feelings with you. Even if your child seems to be coping effectively with their parent’s absence, therapy gives them a neutral person to vent to. A good child therapist can create a safe space and provide a new perspective on their situation. If the child feels safely heard about what they’re going through, they’re much more likely to process their emotions healthily and go on to thrive.
E asy C ranberry -A pple S alad
Inspired by CookieAndKate.com
Want the taste of fall without the calories? Try this quick and easy salad, topped with homemade apple cider vinaigrette.
I ngredients
For the salad: •
For the dressing: •
1/4 cup dried pumpkin seeds
1/4 cup olive oil
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5 cups salad mix
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1 1/2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
2 Granny Smith apples, chopped into bite-size pieces
1 1/2 tsp honey
1 tsp Dijon mustard
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1/3 cup dried cranberries
Salt and pepper to taste
1/3 cup goat cheese, crumbled
D irections 1. In a skillet over medium heat, toast the pumpkin seeds until fragrant, then set aside.
2. In a small jar or bowl, whisk together all dressing ingredients, then set aside.
3. Combine all salad ingredients in a large bowl. Drizzle with dressing until lightly coated, then toss and serve!
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