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603-894-4141 | 978-969-0331 | LegacyCareLaw.com October 2025 It’s Not About the Money Ensure Your Heirlooms Keep Your Family Together
When people come into my office to talk about estate planning, most expect the conversation to be about bank accounts, property, or investments. And, yes, those things matter, but I’ve learned that the real landmines most likely to tear a family apart are often not the “big-ticket” items. It’s the heirlooms. The quilt that lived on the back of grandma’s sofa. The set of spoons that three generations of hands have polished. The photograph that always hung in the hallway. These things might not carry much monetary value, but they hold emotional weight that can feel immeasurable. I’ve seen siblings go to court over heirlooms that, on paper, are not worth more than a few dollars. But to them, those items represent memories, identity, and love. And when a plan isn’t clear, it becomes easy for people to fall into the trap of saying, “Well, Mom told me I could have this,” while another insists, “Actually, she promised it to me.” What follows isn’t just a dispute over an object, but a fracture in relationships that can sometimes last a lifetime. That’s why, whenever I sit down with a client, I emphasize not overlooking sentimental items. People often come prepared with lists of accounts and deeds, but forget the things that live at the
heart of family stories. The overlooked pieces, the well-worn piano, the wedding ring, the rocking chair, anything can create the deepest wounds if left unaddressed. The solution isn’t complicated, but it does require intention. A legal plan should always specify how sentimental property is distributed. And in some families, I’ve seen people go a step further, leaving behind letters or notes that explain the reasoning behind their decisions. Legally, those notes might not carry weight, but emotionally? They can make all the difference. Imagine a daughter learning that she inherited her mother’s teapot not by chance, but because they always shared tea together on rainy afternoons. That small explanation transforms a potential dispute into a cherished memory. At its core, estate planning is about peace of mind, not only for the person creating the plan but also for those left behind. The goal is to ensure the family you love doesn’t spend their time in conflict after you’re gone. For families who get along, a thoughtful plan preserves that harmony. For families already navigating tension, it helps prevent new wounds. So, when you think about your estate, don’t just focus on the tangible wealth. Inventory your life’s belongings, even the seemingly ordinary things. Ask your loved ones what matters most to them, and their answers might surprise you. Often, the smallest items carry the most significant meaning. The truth is that heirlooms aren’t just “things.” They are stories, legacies, and living reminders of those who came before us. Taking the time to plan for them with clarity and compassion ensures those stories continue, unbroken, in the hands of the next generation. And in the end, that’s what estate planning is really about, passing on not just what you had, but who you are.
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The Child-Free Retirement Playbook
SECURE, SMART, AND SATISFYING
When you look into why people decide to create an estate plan, you’ll find a common thread connecting the top reasons. Many people want to leave money or assets to their heirs, ensure their kids have a prosperous future, and provide a plan regarding guardianship for any minor children. Many common reasons for estate planning involve children, but what if you never had any? Is it still necessary to create an estate plan? Do you need to take other actions to plan for your senior years properly? For starters, everyone should establish an estate plan, regardless of age, family situation, finances, or health. Creating an estate plan allows you to lay out your wishes for various aspects of your life. You can determine what will happen to your money and personal possessions, who can make health care and financial decisions
on your behalf, and more. Establishing an estate plan lets you gain peace of mind about the future while ensuring your loved ones follow your wishes. When looking toward your senior years, estate planning will only get you so far. You should take other actions to ensure you can enjoy retirement comfortably. Consider looking into long-term care insurance to help offset assisted living costs and other facilities. Get out of your comfort zone to meet new people and find a network that provides assistance, encouragement, and support. You can do this by getting more involved with your community, church, or other local organizations. Another thing you should do is list out all your important information. Keep records of your bank accounts, insurance policies, important contact information, monthly
bills, and upcoming medical appointments. Having this information on hand will make everything easier if someone else has to step in to help out. Your senior years do not have to be confusing, challenging, or lonely if you have never had children. By taking action and making plans, you can make the most of your retirement and enjoy it to the fullest!
CREATIVE TRICKS TO BEAT DOGGY BOREDOM KEEP THOSE PAWS BUSY
Teach a new trick. Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks? Training sessions teach obedience and provide mental exercise! Whether it’s “shake,” “spin,” or even “put your toys away,” learning something new gives your dog a sense of purpose and boosts your bond. Schedule short, interactive play breaks. Even five minutes of fetch or tug-of-war can break up the day and add excitement. Short bursts of play are especially great for working pet parents or anyone with a packed schedule. Enrichment on a budget. You don’t need to spend a lot to keep your pup engaged. With a bit of creativity, cardboard boxes, old towels, and even ice cubes with treats frozen inside can become boredom busters. Think of it as DIY enrichment!
Have you ever come home to find chewed shoes, shredded pillows, or your trash mysteriously scattered across the floor? If your dog has become a one-pup demolition crew, boredom might be the culprit. Like us, dogs need mental stimulation and activities to keep their minds sharp and their behavior in check. The good news is that you don’t need fancy gadgets or
endless free time to keep your dog happy. A few simple tricks can go a long way in keeping their tails wagging and your belongings intact. Make mealtime a game. Ditch the food bowl and turn mealtime into a brain workout. Try using treat-dispensing toys or puzzle feeders that make your dog work for its food. You can also scatter kibble around the house or yard and let them “hunt” it down. It taps into their instincts and keeps them busy in a fun and rewarding way. Rotate toys to keep things fresh. If your dog has a pile of toys but only plays with one or two, it might be time to mix things up. Keep half of the toys hidden and rotate them out every few days. This keeps things new and exciting, even if your pup has seen the toy before.
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Protect Your Assets from Nursing Home Costs. Avoid Probate Fees and Frustration. Minimize Death Taxes.
Upcoming In-Person Seminars in Southern New Hampshire LEARN ABOUT ESTATE PLANNING FROM OUR ATTORNEYS
Monday, November 3rd —1PM at The Artisan Hotel at Tuscan Village Monday, November 3rd —6 PM at The Artisan Hotel at Tuscan Village Tuesday, November 4th —6 PM at Atkinson Resort & Country Club Wednesday, November 5th —1 PM at LaBelle Winery
Call us or visit our website to sign up: 603-894-4141 or 978-969-0331 • www.legacycarelaw.com
OFFICES LOCATIONS: SALEM, NH
NASHUA, NH
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What Really Happened Aboard the O’Bannon? THE TATER TALE THAT TORPEDOES THE TRUTH
The phrase “history is written by the victors” has been around since the French Revolution, and it can make you wonder how truthful far-fetched historical stories actually are. For example, consider the famous WWII story about the USS O’Bannon. This ship notoriously sank a Japanese submarine using potatoes, but let’s take a closer look to separate fact from fiction. In early April 1943, the crew of the USS O’Bannon was returning to the island of Tulagi when they were asked to check out a submarine that had made contact with the surface not far from their location. It was a dark night, but the waters were calm, so it didn’t take long for the crew to spot a Japanese submarine 2,000 yards away. The sub headed right for their ship, and once it was less than 1,000 yards away, the O’Bannon crew knew they were face-to-face with the enemy.
Commander MacDonald of the USS O’Bannon never mentions potatoes in the official report of the incident. He’s even gone as
far as stating it never happened. However, a book called “Action Tonight” by James David Horan goes into meticulous detail about the events of that fateful night. Horan states that the crew threw everything they could at the Japanese submarine, including bolts, pieces of artillery, and potatoes. Other publications have repeated this story, noting that potatoes knocked Japanese sailors into the water, leading to the sinking of the submarine. Crew members have also stated that they saw people throwing potatoes.
Now, 80 years removed from the event, many O’Bannon crew members have passed away. We’ll
The O’Bannon unloaded their artillery at the Japanese sub, causing significant damage. They turned around for a second attack, and then a third attack until the sub sank below the surface. They were victorious, but when did potatoes come into play? It depends on the source you check.
never know whether this story is true, but one detail may illuminate the truth. The USS O’Bannon was never closer than 90 yards to the submarine. Unless they had someone with the arm of an NFL-caliber quarterback on board, it’s unlikely that anyone hit the Japanese sub with a potato.
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9 Red Roof Lane, Salem, NH 03079 603-894-4141 | 978-969-0331 LegacyCareLaw.com INSIDE THIS ISSUE
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The Overlooked Step in Estate Planning That Changes Everything
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Planning a Meaningful Future Without Dependents
Tail-Wagging Tips to Keep Your Dog Mentally Stimulated
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The USS O’Bannon Potato Incident
Boost Your Emotional Intelligence With These 3 Empathy Skills
Unlock Stronger Bonds With These 3 Tools THE EMPATHY EFFECT
Emotional Empathy: Feeling With Others This kind of empathy tugs at your heartstrings when someone you love is hurting. Emotional empathy lets you actually feel what another person feels. It’s powerful, but it can also be overwhelming. To strengthen emotional empathy, put distractions away during conversations, make eye contact, and be present. When we give people our full attention, our emotional receptors are activated. If you feel emotionally overloaded, though, it’s okay to take a breather. Boundaries are a healthy part of empathy, too. Compassionate Empathy: Acting on Understanding Compassionate empathy goes beyond understanding and feeling; it’s about doing something helpful. For example, if your
Empathy quite literally holds our relationships together. It helps us connect, understand, and support one another. But did you know empathy isn’t just one thing? It comes in three distinct forms, each playing a unique role in how we relate to others. Cognitive Empathy: Understanding the Mind Cognitive empathy involves mentally stepping into someone else’s shoes to understand their thoughts. For example, if your friend is ranting about a frustrating day at work, cognitive empathy helps you understand and relate. If you want to build this skill, practice active listening. Instead of planning your response while someone’s talking, focus entirely on their words. Then, reflect on what you’ve heard. Phrases like “It sounds like you’re feeling ...” can go a long way.
partner is anxious about an upcoming presentation, you can show compassionate empathy by noticing and offering to run through their slides with them. To show compassionate empathy, ask yourself, “How can I lighten their load right now?” Even small gestures like texting to offer help can build trust and deepen connections. When all three types of empathy are present, relationships thrive. You understand, feel, and act, and while not every situation calls for all three, being aware of each type can make you a better friend, partner, parent, or teammate.
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