The West Sussex Bereavement guide

Expressions of grief

In the past, mourning was a formal affair. People would wear dark clothing and black armbands as an outward sign that they were grieving.

it might be helpful to print the electronic messages and keep a copy of them in a special book. This will ensure there is a permanent record and they can easily be viewed when there is more time to reflect. There are several web based sites such as www.gonetoosoon.org where more permanent online memorials can be created. Some crematoriums make video recordings of funeral services which can be placed online at a later date. Bereavement messages are designed to be supportive, comforting and understanding. Some people find it hard to find the right words so instead they use verses from well known poems or famous speeches. Whether the messages are sent in cards, flowers or via the internet, the fact that someone has taken the trouble to send them means they care. They show that in a time of grief they are thinking of those who are in mourning and of the departed person.

There was a set time for mourning and this allowed others to openly show their respect and offer support.

But in today’s fast moving world there are many other ways in which people express their grief. The younger generation are just as likely to place messages on social media such as Facebook or Twitter as they are to send flowers or sympathy cards. Such tribute messages are often accompanied by photographs or video celebrating the life of the deceased person. They often contain personal memories, thoughts and stories praising the life of the departed.

Just because they are not in a traditional format it doesn’t mean they are not heartfelt.

People in the early stages of grief often feel overwhelmed by all the messages of sympathy they are receiving. So

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