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The Bledsoe Firm JustFamilyLaw.com | 949.363.5551 NOVEMBER | 2021
AN IMPORTANT DECISION HELPING YOUR CHILD DECIDE ON A CAREER PATH
Did you know the average American spends 90,000 hours during their lifetime at work? That’s just at the workplace, too. Many people struggle to shut their brains off and leave work when they go home. When you factor out sleep, time spent at work or thinking about it eats up nearly a third of our lifetimes. Knowing this, it’s important that your chosen career path is enjoyable. Parents often stress that their greatest goal is to provide a happy life for their children. They continue to wish for their children’s happiness even after they’ve left the nest. With work taking up so much of their daily lives, children need to pursue careers they will find enjoyable and motivating, and parents can help. Most everyone receives career advice as they grow up. Parents, teachers, and other role models try their best to guide youth and steer them in what they believe is the right direction. It might seem beneficial to encourage youth to pursue careers that promise fame, money, or freedom, but your child’s passions might not line up with those career choices.
they may choose a career path you never would have considered for yourself, yet it’s essential to let your child explore this path on their own. Do not discourage them from something just because you never experienced it or don’t like it. Consider enrolling your child in various activities so they can better find their interests. Your child may not enjoy the sport you grew up with or like going to a natural history museum. This doesn’t mean you should stop exposing your kids to different experiences. Try several new activities so your child is aware of the multitude of skills and careers available to them. Another great way to prepare your child for the workforce is to find them a mentor to help them navigate potential career options. Favorite teachers, guidance counselors, and sports coaches can be great role models and mentors. Oftentimes, they can offer new experiences to children that parents may not know about. If your child struggles to find enjoyable experiences, a mentor may be able to suggest new environments or activities. Setting a strong example of a good work ethic for your child can show them that work does not have to be a negative experience. If they see their parents doing something they love or make the best of whatever career they have, it’s more likely that kids will pursue the same attitude and ethic in their own chosen career path. Mark Twain once said, “Find a job you enjoy doing, and you will never have to work a day in your life,” which still rings true today. It is the parents’ responsibility to do their best to prepare their children to enter the workplace. Through encouragement and patience, we can encourage our children to enter rewarding and enjoyable careers. —John Bledsoe
Even though children may look, talk, and behave like their parents, they are likely very different. Sometimes
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THE BENEFITS OF POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS
Good for Mind and Health
BOOSTED IMMUNE SYSTEMS It makes sense — people who have less stress have stronger immune systems. During times of high stress, our bodies are more susceptible to illnesses because our immune system’s ability to fight off antigens is reduced. The stress hormone corticosteroid can also lower the number of lymphocytes available to fight infection. However, when we are in a happy and loving relationship, our bodies produce oxytocin, and we are less likely to get sick. BETTER PHYSICAL SHAPE Being in a positive relationship, especially a romantic one, can provide the motivation to be the best version of ourselves. This includes our physical condition, too! Having a friend or workout partner to encourage accountability and even push us out of our comfort zone a bit at the gym can keep us motivated. Being in a positive, healthy, and happy relationship means we listen to each other, offer advice, openly communicate without judgment, practice respect and trust, and engage in healthy activities together. So, it’s no surprise that positive relationships work wonders for our health and happiness.
Connecting with other humans in a positive way is one of the most profound experiences we have. That positivity is one of the greatest virtues — it’s contagious, and engaging in happy relationships with others is extremely important not only for our minds but also for our health. LONGER LIVES Studies have actually shown that when people are involved in positive relationships, they live longer. This is likely attributed to decreased stress, as stress can exact a toll on the entire body. Positive relationships can also encourage us to give up negative habits such as drinking or smoking, which cause many health problems and concerns. Healthy habits can help people live longer lives. QUICKER HEALING Positive people in our lives can distract us from pain, remind us to take medication, be our advocates, and simply reduce stress. And less stress means healing takes place faster. Those who have a support person feel more confident and prepared to undergo surgeries and fight illnesses as well.
4 WAYS TO HELP YOUR CHILDREN COPE WITH DIVORCE
Thousands of children experience divorce every year, and no child reacts the same way. Grief, sorrow, sadness, and frustration are all expected emotions during this process. However, children can come out stronger than before as they adapt, develop greater flexibility, and gain a better understanding of how to cope with stress.
need to reassure them of your love and that it will remain constant through any upcoming change. Continually explain that the separation is not their fault.
The Bledsoe Firm has come up with four ways to better help your children cope during and after the divorce process.
ENCOURAGE AND ALLOW YOUR CHILDREN TO DISCUSS THEIR FEELINGS. Your children’s mixed emotions during divorce are only natural. They are going to get frustrated with the situation and may even take it out on you from time to time. If your child is displaying these emotions more prominently, it’s best to validate their feelings. Explain that it’s understandable and justified for them to feel that way. Never minimize or dismiss what they feel. CONTINUE TO REASSURE AND SUPPORT. Their feelings are not going to dissipate overnight; they are going to need constant reassurance that their feelings are justified. You also
ESTABLISH ROUTINE, STRUCTURE, AND LIMITS. Separation and divorce are going to create major changes for your children. It’s important to set limits and a routine to keep some things consistent. They may act upset with the limits, but they will help them feel more secure in the long run. Family meals, bedtimes, and other routines become even important during a separation or divorce process. LOOK AT PROFESSIONAL HELP AND OUTSIDE RESOURCES. There may be times when your efforts and support are not enough. If they begin to act out or their emotional state worsens, find the proper professional to guide them. Your child’s school or even your attorney can be a great resource for locating the help you may need.
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JustFamilyLaw.com | 949.363.5551
W ord S earch Cider Cornucopia
Feast Gales Gathering Pies Pilgrims Stuffing Scorpio Thankful Tradition Veterans
WHEN YOUR WIFE IS THE NARCISSIST A dvice for the S pouse You can’t tell that someone has narcissistic personality disorder by looking at them. Oftentimes, the disorder can be buried within a beautiful and enchanting woman who doesn’t show any traits until later in the relationship. Before long, her unstable personality will unravel and cause major issues for anyone she’s tied down. WHAT IS NARCISSISM? Narcissism is a self-esteem regulation disorder that causes an individual to feel insecure regarding their outlook. More often than not, they will project an arrogant and self-centered image even though they feel insecure or unstable. TRAITS YOUR WIFE MAY DISPLAY IF SHE’S A NARCISSIST Your wife may be focused on being attractive. This means she may be incredibly vain and attempt to be sexually seductive at any turn. Unfortunately, this is not restricted to her marriage, either. She may become unfaithful or promiscuous with people who are not her spouse. In addition, she may be keen to start fights. This can often result in physical violence where she may call the police and present herself as the victim. If children are involved, they could be used as tools to get her spouse or other people to do things they would not normally do. For many female narcissists, it all boils down to creating drama. If your wife creates drama wherever she goes, whether it be school, work, or home, she could potentially be a narcissist. Getting into constant arguments or starting fights is a major sign of narcissism. NARCISSISTIC ABUSE WILL CONTINUE IN THE COURTROOM If you decide to divorce your wife and she is a true narcissist, an easy and simple separation is extremely unlikely. In most cases, she will try to make the divorce process as painful as possible for you. This is why it’s important to get a lawyer who truly understands narcissists and how they operate. The Bledsoe Firm is here to help you deflect any of these backhanded maneuvers and will fight to preserve your financial and personal well-being.
BAKED CORNBREAD AND CHORIZO STUFFING
Inspired by FoodNetwork.com
INGREDIENTS
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1 lb Mexican chorizo
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1/4 cup cilantro, chopped
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1 white onion, chopped
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1/2 cup chicken stock
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1 carrot, chopped
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1 tbsp unsalted butter, for greasing
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1 celery rib, chopped
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Cilantro, for garnish
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3 garlic cloves, chopped
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Cotija cheese, for garnish
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2 cups premade cornbread, crumbled
DIRECTIONS
1. Preheat your oven to 350 F. 2. In a large skillet over medium heat, cook the chorizo for 5 minutes. Add the onion, carrot, celery, and garlic. Cook for 10 additional minutes. Stir in the cornbread and cilantro. 3. While stirring, slowly add the chicken stock. Stir until absorbed. 4. Butter a small casserole dish, then add the stuffing in an even layer. Bake for 20 minutes, garnish as desired, and serve!
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Inside
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Helping Your Child Decide on a Career Path
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The Benefits of Positive Relationships 4 Ways to Help Your Children Cope With Divorce When Your Wife Is the Narcissist Baked Cornbread and Chorizo Stuffing
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Lowering Holiday Stress
HAVE A LOW-STRESS HOLIDAY 3 TIPS FOR A MERRIER TIME
DON’T EXPECT PERFECTION The sooner you let go of the idea of a “perfect” holiday, the sooner you’ll be able to have a happy one. Face it: Something will go wrong. Whether it’s an overcooked dish, a child throwing a temper tantrum, or your uncle talking politics at the dinner table, nothing will ever go just how you planned. So, embrace the imperfections. Whether you’re celebrating this year with a group of two or 20, holidays can be a stressful time — but they don’t have to be. With these tips, your festivities may not be picture-perfect, but they will be a lot of fun.
The holidays are right around the corner, and while many people can’t wait to eat turkey and swap presents, others only see stress on the horizon. Especially for those hosting parties, between decorations, big dinners, excited kids, and visiting family, it can all feel overwhelming. If celebrations are happening at your house this year, here are three tips to lessen the strain and keep up the holiday cheer. RECHARGE FIRST Ensure you’re rested and recharged before the holidays by taking time to relax, getting enough sleep, and engaging in activities that make you feel good. When you’re rushing to get everything done, it can be tempting to
skip self-care routines, but that will cost you in the long run. Your daily exercise and other health activities keep you balanced and ready to face challenges head-on. GET STARTED EARLY Holidays always arrive faster than we expect, so begin preparing early. If shopping for presents is a pain point, don’t wait until the last minute. Decorate earlier than you need to — or better yet, get the kids to do it for you. There’s only so much cooking you can do ahead of time, but ensuring you have all of the equipment and nonperishable ingredients you need a few weeks in advance will reduce both your workload and anxiety.
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