Should Your Adult Child Pay Their Way? When to Close the Bank of Mom and Dad
While young adults of previous generations were usually left to sink or swim after leaving home, it is now commonplace for parents to provide financial support to their adult kids. A 2018 Merrill Lynch Age Wave survey found that 79% of respondents help their adult children financially, providing an average of $7,000 annually. Many parents feel it’s a moral obligation. But how much should you support your adult child — and how do you know when it’s time to stop? Modern parents have good reasons to help their kids into adulthood. Housing prices have increased, entry-level jobs often pay poorly, and many young adults struggle with student debt. Parents often support their kids temporarily until they get on their feet. But months can turn into years without significant progress toward self-sufficiency. One way to tell it’s time for a change is by looking at your own finances. Are you meeting your own goals? If you’re struggling to pay bills, racking up credit card debt, or failing to save for retirement sufficiently, you’re helping your children to your own detriment. Further, you risk reversing the arrangement, thus relying on your child for financial support in the future. So, confirm your retirement goals are on track and that your contributions are affordable.
It’s also worth considering whether you’re preventing your adult child from learning important life lessons. If they struggle to budget or habitually misspend money, regularly bailing them out hurts them more than it helps. And don’t forget about the emotional component of your financial support. If you feel like your kids are taking advantage of you, then something is wrong and needs to change. Whatever your reason for reconsidering, prepare for a challenging conversation. You may feel guilty, and your child may become very upset. Take time to understand your reasons for ending or reducing your support and plan what you want to say. Most importantly, give your child time to process the news financially and emotionally. Avoid ending support suddenly if possible so they have time to prepare for their future finances. Wanting to help your kids is normal, and it can be hard to let go or watch your children struggle. But limiting your support, saying “no” to monetary requests, and putting your needs first is okay. Especially if your assistance has put your financial, mental, or emotional health at risk, it’s time to reconsider what works best for the entire family. UPCOMING EVENTS Q2 Market Update Webinar When: Tuesday, July 18, at 11 a.m. EDT How to register: Give us a call and keep an eye out for an email invitation! What it’s about: We will discuss the markets, the moves we have made and thoughts going forward. Bring your questions or share them when you register. We’ll be taking questions throughout the presentation and have reserved a Q&A period as well. Client Webinar: Estate Planning, Do I Need a Will or a Trust? When: Tuesday, Aug. 15, at 1:00 p.m. EDT Keep an eye out for more information! To register, email us at Seminars@campbellwealth.com!
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