Musings of an Old Man Submitted by Bart Wilburn GUEST EDITORIAL
would answer: “yep,” and change the subject. Being regarded as irrelevant and being irrelevant, however, are not the same things. Being irrelevant is being a geezer. Geezers are ignored–sidelined. Maybe sometimes it seems the best thing we can do is be there and listen. I don’t like that answer. We still pay attention and want to be engaged; we have stories to tell. I remember from not long ago I gave my boyhood rifle to my grandson. I was struck by how sincere he was in appreciating my giving him something that meant so much to me in the years since I was his age. I was relevant to him, and because I was relevant to him, I was relevant to my daughter. I talked about coping with the adversities of being old. There is, however, an upside to being old. The upside derives from being curious, optimistic, and adventurous. The upside is that when we are old, we have time. We have time to be creative, time to explore and discover, time to dig deeper into things we may not have thought about in years. We have time to create something new, maybe we succeed, maybe we don’t, but if we are resilient and persevere, we continue to grow, be relevant, and rekindle our sparkle. Everyone encourages the notion of being authentic, but most of us only have a vague idea of what it means. Becoming authentic is a subject for another day, but to be authentic means being resolute, resilient, and persevering in the face of adversity. I suggest being authentic and also being optimistic and adventurous is the best way forward. ◆
my wife, Laura, and I bought my first Harley. What a joy! Soon thereafter Laura’s Harley came; she objected to looking at the back of my head. We rode all over the country not thinking about getting old and yet I remember a few times marveling about the sensuous joy of pulling out onto the road with the bars in hand and the engine throbbing beneath me and thinking “Hey, I’m sixty-something.” That might have been a hint of thinking about getting old. Ten years went by and we were at least aware of getting older. We put our toys away thinking it is better to get off than fall off, but we weren’t content to be content and bought an Airstream. That was getting old. I’m 85 and she’s 78, now we ARE old. How is it different? We still travel in our Airstream, sometimes attending rally’s, sometimes just us. But what is daily life now? What can I say here that is of any use to others coping with being old? Let me say now that this is just me talking from our experience. Yes, we move slower, tire more quickly, maybe not as quick, and yes, Laura is on me to walk faster with my head up, do my exercises, and don’t forget your Tai Chi. There is no question that it is good to have someone in your life, to care for a puppy that loves you, and to remember simple things like what we had for dinner last night. But the most worrisome thing about being old comes from realizing that we are a generation older than most people. That worrisome thing is the anxiety of being ‘sidelined,’ of not being relevant. We are relevant among our peers, but not aways to those much younger than us. I can remember times when I offered a pearl of wisdom to my kids and they
I stay in touch with some former classmates from grad school and we have Zoom meetings almost every week. We are in our eighties, have known each other for nearly 60 years, and have talked about many things, sometimes physics, sometimes politics, anything that comes to mind. We talked about getting old, the adversities we have faced, and wondered about how people just entering the age of being old handle getting old. Are they anxious about it? Most people don’t think about it when they are young, but there comes a time when they do. We are old and have gone through getting old, it’s not the same thing. I think the short answer to how anyone handles getting old comes down to how they go about knowing themselves; it’s about authenticity. I have often thought that the most trying time is going from 79 to 81. When we are 79, we are wisened seniors, but when we are 81 we are in our eighties, that’s just called old. Let me talk a little about the difference between being old and getting old. I was 64 and retired, had published a few papers, and otherwise restless when
November & December 2026, Never Too Late | Page 5
Pima Council on Aging
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