that’s what the hunter told you, you’re not in a democracy anymore. We are still in one, even if it sometimes feels like just barely. When I was a kid, the victorious tennis player jumped the net to shake hands with the vanquished. The loser didn’t rush over and try to raise the net and catch the winner in the crotch. The loser didn’t shout for his fans to come down out of the stands and rush the tennis court and maul the refs. And the winner didn’t stand there and, with the aid of his ball boys, keep firing 145 mph serves at the loser, his coaches, family and friends. The losers in a democratic election should know for certain that there will be a rematch. Otherwise they’re too likely to take their ball and go home. (And come back with a gun? It’s been known to happen.) It is my fondest hope that America will go back to losing gracefully, although Afghanistan didn’t set much of a precedent. Maybe whatever the terrible aftermath will be in that poor benighted nation will teach us, at least, that the Taliban is what you get when your country’s fools and fanatics don’t know how to lose.
Political democracy endures only in countries where politics isn’t the only game in town, where politics doesn’t control every aspect of life, where politics is kept in proportion as just one (preferably small) part of our existence. Except for (preferably rare) moments of true national crisis, politics is a sport. We get about as much out of “our candidate” winning as we do when “our team” wins the Super Bowl – which is a couple of celebratory beers that we pay for ourselves. And this is as it should be. The election stakes aren’t supposed to be too high. It isn’t supposed to feel like we’re taking a risk with the amount of political power that’s on the table, with one wrong bet meaning we wind up with an autocracy or dictatorship. Excessive partisanship is a political version of gambling addiction. There should be a National Helpline for people who think politicians are going to solve their problems. Call 1-800-VOTE-OFF. The losers in a democratic election should know for certain that there will be a rematch. Otherwise they’re too likely to take their ball and go home. (And come back with a gun? It’s been known to happen.) Winners should also keep that rematch in mind. A thin margin of victory shouldn’t be followed by a fat wad of policy radicalism. The contest should be played fairly, according to the rules, and the opponents should shake hands when it’s over. Democratic politics is a sport, but it isn’t a blood sport. The dead buck doesn’t give a hoof bump to the hunter. If
American Consequences
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