Keep Moving Forward but Give Yourself Time to Grieve Your Losses Notes FromThe Field FieldLawPC.com 818-369-7900
It was a typical Sunday afternoon in Southern California on Jan. 26. It was sunny and warm, and my family and I decided to have a barbecue out in the backyard. My parents and three grandchildren were over, and we were having a great, relaxing time. Then, all of a sudden, I noticed the smell of burning plastic and looked up to see smoke coming out of the garage; a fire had broken out in there. We quickly got everyone out and at a safe distance while we called the fire department. The fortunate part about this was that no one was ever in danger; my grandkids didn’t even realize what was going on. Once the fire was put out, we assessed the damage. The garage was completely destroyed, and the rest of the house suffered from major smoke damage to the point where everything was a total loss. All our furnishings and personal belongings were not salvageable, and the house will have to be gutted — completely stripped down to the studs. While we won’t be able
to move back in until around November, we are staying as positive as we can. We have a place to stay and food to eat, and no one got hurt.
This unexpected journey I’ve found myself on these past few months has reminded me quite a lot of J. R. R. Tolkien’s novels, “The Lord of the Rings.” My family and I have left the comforts of the Shire and embarked on a journey we never expected to be on, but like the hobbits, we will keep moving forward, come what may. However, while life might lead us down this path, we also know how important it is to give ourselves time to look at our journey. The Tolkien novels are filled with loss and difficulties, but the characters continue to stay strong. I think this applies to all aspects of life. When you lose someone or something so unexpectedly and abruptly, it hurts, and sometimes, we try to push beyond that pain and loss too fast. Our world today tends to focus on getting over and moving on from loss, but that’s not how we should approach it. Everyone needs to take the time to process loss and know that it’s okay to go through that pain. We should all take time to grieve and care for our hearts and souls. Right now, despite the chaotic aftermath of the fire, that is exactly where my focus is. I’m doing everything I can to take care of my family and their well-being — physically, mentally, and spiritually. I’ve also realized this experience echoes in the work I do with people. When a client comes into my office whose parents or other family members have passed away, many of them think they have to get moving and take care of everything as soon as they can, but that’s not true at all. Loss, for the most part, is one of the most unexpected journeys we’ll all take at least once, and those losses matter. It’s important to realize it’s okay when you can’t move on from it as fast as the world might be telling you to. I can tell you from experience that days, weeks, or even years aren’t enough to get over the loss of your father, mother, spouse, all your belongings, or your home. As we continue down this unknown path for the next few months, my family and I will continue to support one another and wonder where our adventure will take us. As Sam Gamgee, Frodo’s dearest friend in “The Lord of the Rings” once said, “I wonder what sort of tale we’ve fallen into?”
Two of my grandchildren with the firefighter who heroically put out the fire.
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RETIRE IN STYLE 3 PLACES TO RETIRE INTERNATIONALLY
Even if you’ve always planned for a comfortable retirement in the United States, choosing to live internationally could be a smart alternative to improve your standard of living in retirement. International Living Magazine’s Retirement Index has tracked objective retirement metrics — like the cost of living, democratic stability, and health care — for the last 40 years. They also take into account reports of correspondents actively living abroad. Here are some of their top picks for international retirement destinations. PANAMA Panama ranks No. 2 in International Living Magazine’s list of best places to retire internationally. With its tropical climate, proximity to the United States, excellent health care, and low tax burden, it’s easy to see why. In Panama City, you can expect to pay at least $2,600 a month in living expenses, but housing costs are substantially lower outside of major metropolitan markets. Panama also offers excellent discounts, up to 25% off of things like airline tickets, hotels, and energy costs through its Pensionado program. COSTA RICA If it’s a textbook paradise you’re looking for, look no further than Costa Rica. Thanks to a 1948 decision to abolish their military and direct
all of those funds to health care and education, Costa Rica is often referred to as the “Switzerland of Central America.” Known for its stable democracy, safety, and socialized health care that’s only available once you’ve obtained residency, Costa Rica also offers climates for just about everybody — from the lush jungles of the south to the hot, dry beaches of Guanacaste in the northwest. Expect to find large communities of expats to help you acclimate. MEXICO The first things that come to mind for most people when you mention Mexico are margaritas and beach umbrellas, but this country offers a lot more than that. For starters, Mexico features an enticingly low cost of living. International Living estimates a couple could live in Mexico on anywhere from $1,500–$3,000 per month, depending on location, including health care expenses. Once you’ve obtained residency status, you can sign up for national health care plans that offer full coverage for just a few hundred dollars annually.
THE FIGHT OF THE CENTURY How a Battle of Boxers Captivated the World
On March 8, 1971, all eyes were on the world of boxing as people watched what would become known as “The Fight of the Century.” It was one of the most anticipated matchups the sport had ever arranged: Current heavyweight champion Joe Frazier and former heavyweight champion Muhammad Ali were finally facing off, the first time two undefeated boxers would fight each other for the heavyweight title. Spectators were hungry for a battle. Both fighters held rightful claims to the title of world heavyweight champion. Ali won it in 1964 and successfully defended it for several years, but he was stripped of the title during a legal battle over his induction into the U.S. armed forces. In his absence from the sport,
Frazier earned two championship belts through major knockout fights. But when Ali settled his court case and came to reclaim his title, Frazier wasn’t ready to give it up easily. Ringside seats for the fight sold for today’s equivalent of over $1,000. Millions watched the broadcast in over 50 countries around the world, and Madison Square Garden sold out to a crowd of 20,455 spectators. The fighters possessed polar opposite tactics, backgrounds, and social impacts, but when it came to skill, they were evenly matched. The fight captivated the nation. As Sports Illustrated put it at the time, “The thrust of this fight on the public consciousness is incalculable. It has been a ceaseless whir that seems to have grown in decibel with each new soliloquy by Ali, with each dead calm promise by Frazier.” The fight exceeded all expectations with a fully engrossing 15 rounds. For the first quarter of the match, it seemed Ali would best his opponent, but Frazier came back with fury. Even though Ali continued to rise to his feet round after round, Frazier emerged victorious by the slimmest of margins, dealing Ali his first professional loss ever. The landmark event highlighted an unforgettable night of skillful prowess like the world had never seen. Even though the title fight was only the beginning of the rivalry between the two boxers, the matchup rightfully took its place as one of the greatest fights in the history of the sport.
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TAKE A BREAK
One of the greatest things about March Madness is that you don’t have to be a huge college basketball fan to get in on the fun. Kids of all ages can fill out brackets — or have a parent fill one out for them — and watch their picks duke it out on the court. While healthy competition among family members can be fun all on its own, WHOSE PICKS WILL GO ALL THE WAY? March Madness Fun for the Whole Family
check out the following tips if you’re looking to go the extra mile and reap as much fun from March Madness as you can.
TURN EACH GAME INTO AN EVENT. Not every kid may like watching basketball, but if they fill out a bracket, then they might gain at least a passing interest in who will win each game. To elevate their interest, turn each March
PESTO CHICKEN WITH BLISTERED TOMATOES
Madness matchup into a little party. It doesn’t have
Brighten up after a cold, dark winter with this fresh and flavorful springtime dish.
to be fancy; make fun snacks to eat while you watch or bet pieces of candy on who will have the most points to create great family bonding opportunities.
2 1/2 tbsp olive oil, divided 4 boneless and skinless chicken breasts, pounded to a 1-inch thickness Salt and pepper to taste 1/4 cup whole-wheat panko
• • • • • •
2 tbsp Parmesan cheese
1 tbsp unsalted butter, melted 6 tbsp spinach pesto 2 cups cherry tomatoes 1 garlic clove, thinly sliced 1 tsp red wine vinegar
REWARD THE WINNERS WITH PRIZES. Offer prizes to each round winner as well as the overall bracket winner to get the whole family involved. Small prize ideas for each round can include a homemade dinner of the winner’s choice, a week’s supply of their favorite snack, or a coupon for getting out of a chore. Whoever wins the whole tournament (or makes it the furthest with their bracket) deserves a bigger reward. Offer them the chance to see a movie of their choice in theaters or to eat a meal at their favorite restaurant. CREATE A LEARNING OPPORTUNITY. Learning math or geography might not sound like your child’s idea of fun, but it can be when they learn it through the lens of March Madness. See if your kids would be interested in understanding the inner workings of the ranking system or studying where some of the qualifying colleges are located on a map of the United States. They may find it so interesting that they don’t even realize they’re learning valuable skills.
1. In a large ovenproof skillet over medium-high heat, add 1 tbsp olive oil. 2. Season chicken with salt and pepper, and add it to pan. Cook chicken for 5 minutes on each side, then remove pan from heat. 3. In a bowl, combine panko, Parmesan cheese, and butter. 4. Spread pesto over chicken and top with panko mixture. 5. Broil chicken for 2 minutes on high heat until browned. 6. In a skillet, heat remaining oil over medium-high heat. 7. Add tomatoes and cook for 6 minutes. 8. Add garlic and cook for 30 seconds, stirring constantly. 9. Season tomato mixture with salt and pepper, and add red wine vinegar. 10. Serve tomatoes with broiled chicken.
Inspired by CookingLight.com
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INSIDE THIS ISSUE
Taking an Unexpected Journey of a Lifetime
Retire in Style Boxing’s Greatest Battle
Pesto Chicken With Blistered Tomatoes March Madness Fun for the Whole Family
New York City’s Chaotic Annual Tradition
SMASHED MIRRORS, MAIMED SOFAS, AND MISSING BED-SCREWS THE DAY EVERYONE IN NEW YORK CITY MOVED
Moving is the worst. The costs of hiring a moving company and the sheer amount of time it takes to physically move everything make the whole affair an aggravating mess. And if you thought moving just one house on your street was terrible, imagine the chaos that would ensue if everyone in your whole city moved on the same day. That’s exactly what happened in New York City for nearly two centuries. FromColonial times until the end ofWorldWar II, May 1 was Moving Day in NewYork. On that day, every lease in the city ended, and pandemonium reigned in the streets as everyone scurried to their new homes. Eyewitness accounts of Moving Day describe the tradition as sheer mayhem. An English writer said Moving Day looked like“a population flying from the plague,”
and frontiersman Davy Crockett called it an “awful calamity”when he discovered the event in 1834. Still, some people loved Moving Day. Long Island farmers took their carts into the city on May 1 and charged as much as a week’s wages to move desperate tenants’ belongings to their new homes, which was a tidy sum in those days. Children were also fond of Moving Day because they got the day off school to help their families navigate the tumultuous time. A few prominent theories have emerged about the origins of this tradition. Some posit that May 1 coincided with the English celebration of May Day. Others say it morphed out of an event where servants would look for new employers. The most well-known
explanation, however, is the May 1 move commemorated the day Dutch colonizers “moved” to Manhattan in the first place. The Moving Day tradition began vanishing in the early 20th century because many cartmen and housing builders were drafted during WorldWar I, leaving fewer movers and less available housing. Additionally, the construction of the New York City subway gave other tenants rapid access to more housing options outside Manhattan. Finally, after many cartmen were again drafted in WWII, the tradition officially ended in 1945.
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