by Linda McGrath-Redmond Host + Columnist at Hola Sober
Once upon a time, there was a woman who used to drink wine, lots and lots of wine. One day the woman decided she no longer wanted to drink alcohol. She became a woman who used to drink wine and now does not drink wine. The End. Simple really ! Well , it is and it isn ’ t . But we ’ re dealing with a deceptive addictive substance here , and while finally putting down the glass is the easy part , getting there is a long process and not picking up again is where the real work begins . Let me be honest . The transition is HARD . It takes huge commitment , determination , strength , support , and above all standing in our TRUTH . And the truth is something that is usually very lacking while living a life of addiction . Lies are essential to keeping our addiction to alcohol alive and thriving . We lie to our family , our friends , anyone really , but most of all we lie to ourselves . And with every lie we shrink a little bit more , we hide a little bit more , and that bright light inside all of us dims a little more until we can barely recognise the woman who stares back at us in the mirror each day . Transition usually takes years . They say it takes on average a decade between hearing that little voice inside that questions our drinking habits to actually facing up to it and taking the steps needed to get out of the cycle of hell . So what keeps us stuck there for so long ?
There are many reasons, not least that it’s perfectly normal, indeed usually expected that we drink alcohol on every occasion, and that occasion can be just to signal the end of our working day (mommy juice anyone?). It’s deeply ingrained in our culture. But I believe the biggest barrier to recovery comes in the form of denial. Denial is such an underrated word. In psychology, it’s defined as a defense mechanism in which confrontation with a personal problem or with reality is avoided by denying the existence of the problem or reality. That can be a good and helpful state when confronted with trauma or the sudden loss of a loved one. It’s the first stage of grief and helps us absorb shock. It can help us come to terms with something very painful in a slower and more gentle manner. But when it comes to addiction it’s far from helpful. It can and does keep us stuck for years. It is a tremendous coping mechanism that we rely on daily to keep us from facing our truth. It allows us to turn a blind eye to our reality, to downplay how much of a negative impact those nightly glasses of wine are having on our lives, and for those of us who appear to the outside world to be a functioning, well-presented woman, who manages to take it all in her stride, it’s even harder to breakthrough.
Made with FlippingBook - Online magazine maker