T A L K IN G withDr. Clyde i
Dr. Narramore, graduate of Columbia University, New York City, is a nationally known psychologist. He is the director of one of America's
largest psychological clinics— The Christian Counseling center in Pasadena, California. TEARS IN MY EYES
which tells you that you do have rather deep emotional problems. Your problem really has nothing to do with your tears. Instead, it is much deeper. To a psychologist, your tears are saying, “ I have had many experiences in my childhood and youth which have prevented me from feeling secure and adequate.” Inferiority feelings often inaugu rate excessive tears. People who have persistently been the brunt of criticism or ridicule are likely to have a generous supply of tears. Children who do not succeed and who are constantly reminded of their failures sometimes d e v e lo p this symptom. Over-critical parents may cause their children to feel embar rassed. The children had not met the demands of “ perfection” introduced by Mom and Dad. You should find some person in whom you have confidence and some one with whom you can share your feelings. The person should be pro fessionally trained, or at least a sym pathetic listener. By ventilating your feelings and finding the true causes of them, you can obtain considerable relief. Remember that your condition has been years in the making, and it may take a number of sessions to re solve your problem. As you have pro fessional counseling you will begin to appraise yourself differently, and you will build inner strengths. Then your emotions will not be showing themselves by your eyes filling with tears. THE ALCOHOL MESSAGE Q. I am a young woman and an alco holic. I started drinking at 19 and became an alcoholic at 21. I had blackouts and finally went to a doc tor to quit drinking. I also had
“DT’s” and was told that in six months I would be dead. I was phys ically, morally and spiritually bro ken, and I finally ended up in a men tal hospital. In the hospital I never talked about my drinking. I just thought I was a nut. I spent two years in hos pitals. Then one of the doctors real ized that my problem was alcoholism, and he began to help me. I am now in Alcoholics Anonymous, and 1 have learned so much. So far I am the youngest female member in our local AA. By the grace of God, I will continue to lead a sober life and help other alcoholics. I have accepted Christ and am living for the Lord. Could you in some way get the alcoholic message over? Young peo ple don’t realize the danger of drink ing. It is robbing multitudes of their right to happiness. A. I appreciate th is letter very much, which I think speaks admir ably for itself. Many young people are having se rious problems such as yours. I think of alcoholism as a symptom, usually of a deeper problem. You also bear this out in your letter, iYou said, “ I was physically, morally, and spiritually broken” ; and finally you went to a mental hospital. In other words, you had problems throughout your life and, undoubtedly, you had childhood experiences which made you an easy prey for alcoholism. Alcohol is like a red flag. It sig nals, “ Something is wrong with me inside. I need medical or spiritual help, or psychological help.” An alco holic usually has a severe problem and he turns to alcohol to try to es cape the problem which is too hard to bear. I have written a booklet on this subject, entitled “ Alcoholism.” Any one may have it by writing to me.
Q. My problem is one that is often very embarrassing to me. I cannot control my tears. Even at happy oc casions, such as weddings or gradua tions, tears well up in my eyes. Not long ago I attended a graduation, and as the graduates proceeded to the platform, I couldn’t help but wipe away a few tears. Another example is an incident that happened recently. My employ er told me in the nicest wa/y she knew, that I should do a procedure in a different way. 1 was ashamed and embarrassed because she was so kind in the way she told me. And, there I stood — with tears in my eyes. Thank you for any suggestions you may have. A. I would like to mention several things briefly. First, the problem is not an unusual one. I receive a steady stream of letters from people who complain of excessive tears, blush ing, or similar reactions. Secondly, the emotion which you are experiencing is one that all peo ple experience to some degree. Yours is not different from others except in extent. In other words, all of us shed tears occasionally, even when we don’t want to. But in your case tears are coming excessively, you have no control over them, and the condition is making you feel very embarrassed. Crying, or shedding tears, is a basic emotion, and when your em ployer showed you kindness, you un doubtedly felt unworthy of her kind ly treatment. Your insecurity and feelings of unworthiness kept you from accepting her favorable recog nition of you. Excessive tears in your eyes is na ture’s way of alerting you to a dis turbance which is deeply rooted,
THE KING'S BUSINESS
34
Made with FlippingBook flipbook maker