Know the Basics Settling Your Divorce Through Mediation After a divorce has been filed and spouses have exchanged financial information (also called the discovery process), a divorce case may go to mediation. Mediation can be an effective way to settle a case if it can’t be done between the two lawyers quickly. It’s meant to give both parties a neutral, third-party perspective on their settlement and often provides helpful insight. THE MEDIATION PROCESS Most divorces are resolved through a process called mediation. During mediation, each spouse is in a separate room with their lawyer. A mediator — typically a divorce lawyer or someone very experienced with divorce law — goes between the two rooms to facilitate a settlement. During mediation at our firm, for example, our client is in our law office with us, and we have a conference room at the end of the hall where their spouse and the spouse’s lawyer are. The mediator goes between both rooms and helps us narrow down and agree on a settlement. What we tell clients is that for us to settle their divorce, we need to understand their income and assets — what they and their spouse are making at that time — so that we can come up with a settlement. Especially in some of the complex cases we handle, like those involving business assets, it’s helpful for us to get input from a mediator. It helps everyone involved see things a little differently, and ultimately, it often makes it easier for us all to come to an agreement. In mediations where we do find an agreement, we typically prepare a contract that has all the parts of the settlement in it, and everyone signs it right then and there.
MORE THAN JUST ‘YOU’LL SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT!’ LESSONS FAMILIES CAN LEARN FROM ‘A CHRISTMAS STORY’ In 1983, one movie introduced Red Ryder BB guns, fishnet-clad leg lamps, and bright red bars of soap into America’s everlasting Christmas mythos. Now, over 35 years later, “A Christmas Story” continues to delight audiences every holiday season with timeless lessons for viewers of all ages. In a story where kids are clever and kind, and parents are bumbling and wise, “A Christmas Story” has more lessons to offer families than just, “You’ll shoot your eye out!” YOUR KIDS ARE LISTENING TO YOU (OH, FUDGE!). They aren’t always obedient, but that doesn’t mean they’re not listening. After Ralphie lets slip the “queen mother of dirty words” in front of his father, the narrator reminisces about first hearing that word from his old man — possibly when he was trying to get their furnace to work. He doesn’t admit this to his mother, but it’s a lesson for parents everywhere that kids may hear more than they let on. KIDS WON’T BELIEVE IN MAGIC FOREVER. Magical stories about Santa or even “Little Orphan Annie’s” Secret Society fill children’s hearts with wonder but won’t enchant them forever. Belief in certain parts of the Christmas season can fade slowly or die as quickly as the spin of a decoder pin, but parents can always be there to remind children about what’s really important during the Christmas season. SOMETIMES ‘DISASTERS’ LEAD TO NEW ADVENTURES. Christmas Day can be hectic, and, in the hubbub of it all, sometimes disaster can feel inevitable. Ralphie’s parents certainly experience their fair share of disaster in hilarious fashion when the Bumpus Hounds destroy their holiday turkey and leave nothing but the heavenly aroma. But, when Ralphie’s father takes them out to eat at a local Chinese restaurant, it creates a whole new Christmas tradition for the Parker family. Our holiday mishaps, no matter how tragic, are rarely the end of the world.
WHAT TO EXPECT FROM MEDIATION:
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Nothing is required — all you have to do is show up.
• The mediator is a neutral third party who facilitates the process.
• Everything in mediation is confidential (unless it commits a crime or threatens harm).
• The goal is for both parties to come to an agreement, but again, it’s not required.
All you have to do for mediation is show up and leave the rest to your attorney.
Is your friend or client in need of a guide as they prepare for divorce? our divorce strategy book can help! The book can be downloaded for FREE at ControlYourDifficultDivorce.com. If your friend or client lives in the South Florida area, we will mail them a hard copy of the book upon request.
Consider one final tip: Do not stick your tongue to any flagpoles this winter! Happy holidays!
2 • BrucePA.com
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