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Gotta Have Grit LESSONS FROM THE DELICATE ARCH TRAIL
Like many other families with young children, we used the summer school break to take a vacation. We’ve got plenty of beaches in Florida, so we might usually go camping in the beautiful, cool Appalachian Mountains. But for some reason, we settled instead on the hot desert out west. In fairness, we didn’t know just how hot the weather would be. The 110-degree heat without a cloud in the sky felt like a blow- dryer to the face. It wasn’t quite what we had anticipated, but we ventured on with our tour of national parks. During one of our long drives, we listened to “Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance” by Angela Ducksworth. She talks about the ability to follow through and argues that it differentiates high-achieving people from others, much more so than talent alone. It was perfect timing because we were about to get our own lesson in grit during the trip. One of our favorite places we visited was Arches National Park. Its star attraction is Delicate Arch, the famous rock formation that appears on all the Utah license plates and T-shirts. We wanted to see it up close — or, at least, we adults did. The kids would have been happy splashing in the campground pool or watching their iPads around the camper. But we had a unique opportunity and weren’t about to let them bum around. The hike to Delicate Arch isn’t an easy one, though. It’s rated as “moderate” in difficulty but was very steep. The round-trip hike is 3–4 miles, and the way up was no walk in the park. We had to climb
a slick mountain for about 200 yards, venture up and down dirt paths, and walk 100 yards along a cliff face. And, of course, it was sweltering. Our son Russell was a trouper. He likes being outdoors and was leading the way for all of us. But our 5-year-old daughter, Ruby, did not have the same positive attitude. She was dragging behind and complaining. Why were we doing all of this to see some dumb rock? About two-thirds of the way up, she decided she’d had enough. Ruby sat down, crossed her arms, and announced she was quitting. She had no plans to go any further. We couldn’t leave her there, and we weren’t about to carry a 5-year-old uphill. We finally won her over when we explained that we needed to stay together because a mountain lion might attack a lone hiker. (For the record, this is true.) She wasn’t happy about it, but she begrudgingly agreed to continue.
We made it to Delicate Arch!
Eventually, we made it. It was extremely satisfying, and the view was stunning. It’s humbling to know that the desert you’re standing in was once an ocean. Understanding how old those rock formations are makes you realize just how short life is and puts everything in perspective. As we took in the scenery, we asked the kids if they were glad they’d made the hike. Both of them enthusiastically agreed that they were happy they didn’t give up; the work was well worth the breathtaking experience. On the way back, Ruby was in high spirits. At the trailhead, she half-jokingly, half-seriously asked, “Can we do it again?” We hope we helped teach her grit that day and the power and joy in not giving up. Even when you feel you’ve given it your all, push a little harder and dig a little deeper. The reward at the end will mean that much more.
Grit never felt so good
–Ashley and Chris Bruce
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A Bit of Give and Take
Preparing for Your Divorce Mediation
Never a Dull Moment Why We Should Live for Today
The vast majority of divorcing spouses will benefit from mediation. The process is typically less emotional, stressful, and contentious than a trial in front of a judge. And most couples are also glad to hear that it’s usually much less expensive. But what exactly is mediation — and what do you need to know before heading into one? The goal of mediation is for two spouses to negotiate and mutually agree on the division of assets and timesharing. An experienced attorney will help their client prepare a list of objectives and possibly even a draft settlement in advance. Typically, the spouses and their attorneys sit in different rooms, and the mediator goes back and forth to hear each side and discuss the issues. Anyone headed into mediation should prepare for a long, intense day. Mediation takes hours and sometimes lasts multiple days if the issues are significantly complex. Try bringing a book, music, or something else that will occupy you during downtime and help you de-stress after an emotional exchange. It’s important to know that mediation is not arbitration, and a mediator cannot make decisions on your or your spouse’s behalf. They facilitate a constructive conversation and help both sides work toward a compromise. But while the mediator is a neutral party who shouldn’t pick sides, the process can still be uncomfortable. People commonly feel like the mediator is advocating on their spouse’s behalf. But it is the mediator’s job to play devil’s advocate, question your arguments, and help you see each other’s points of view. Remain levelheaded and don’t take their comments personally. While it might be uncomfortable, it’s just as crucial to keep an open mind. There’s little reason to proceed with mediation if both sides arrive dead set on their positions. Remember that this is someone you once loved and with whom you may have brought new life into this world. Be generous enough to hear them out and genuinely consider their arguments. Finally, while mediation is successful for most couples, anyone undergoing the process needs to be prepared to walk away. The ultimate goal is to come to a resolution — but if your ex is being unreasonable or uncooperative, an agreement is not worth sacrificing your future security. We’ll give you our honest assessment of whether continued mediation may be fruitful — and if it’s not, we’ll go to court together.
We can’t change the past, nor can we predict or guarantee the future. In the end, all we have is the present, yet most of us live our lives ignoring its many possibilities.
It’s easy to tune out the life around you, especially if you do many of the same things every day. Taking care of the kids, commuting, working, and running errands can blur together. Just as bad, when life isn’t going the way we want, it’s easy to fantasize about how things “should” be or how they once were. When we live busy or stressful lives, worrying or planning can also make us feel more in control. The problem with these strategies is that they don’t change anything. They help us discount the only thing we can control: what we do now. Life can pass you by that way if you’re not careful. The solution is to exist in the present moment as much as possible and enjoy the good things around us while we have them. Studies show that living this way makes people happier, healthier, and more likely to form strong relationships. But how do you even get started? The process requires a different way of thinking called mindfulness. Mindfulness is about focusing on what is happening in the present moment — not that work deadline, the movie you just watched, what’s for dinner, or the kids’ extracurricular schedule. It takes practice, and many people use meditation or breathing to help. When mindful, we concentrate on what others say and become more fully present. We also start to notice the small things we usually overlook: the cool breeze on our skin, the sound of the birds, the feel of a sweater, or the sight of our loved ones smiling. Our lives become fuller. And our stress decreases because we’re not clinging to things beyond our command. No one ever stops worrying entirely, and some planning is necessary to live a successful life. But too much can leave us with no energy or time to enjoy it. John Lennon once sang, “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” Start living in the present so you don’t blink and miss yours.
Is your friend or client married to a controlling, manipulative, narcissistic husband?
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Kitty Love Why Cats Make Great Pets
Cats are good for kids. Of course, all cats have different personalities, and a particularly feisty or standoffish feline is probably not a good fit for a toddler. But as long as the cat has a fairly agreeable personality, they mix with kids well. In fact, just a little bit of kitty attitude can be a good thing — interacting with cats help children learn to be courteous, respect boundaries, play gently, and be patient. And they may even help boost kids’ immune systems. Some studies show that children who lived in a house with a cat as babies have fewer respiratory infections, allergies, and asthma! Cats benefit your health. Did you know that owning a cat may make you less likely to experience a heart attack or stroke? Several studies have shown a correlation, though the cause is not currently understood. Cats also provide the mental stimulation and play needed to keep us active. Meanwhile, other studies show that cats reduce our stress levels and help prevent depression, anxiety, and loneliness. Finally, people with cats report higher happiness levels and improved quality of life than their feline-less counterparts.
If cats could talk, they’d gladly tell you the world revolves around them. But sadly, humans have only set aside one date of the year (Oct. 29) to celebrate National Cat Day. So, we better make the most of it! Those of us who are certified cat people will need no convincing of the many benefits cat ownership provides. But if you’re on the fence about adopting a feline friend, here are some of the best reasons to finally bring one home. Cats are low maintenance. Dogs are great, but they’re a lot of work. Cats don’t need walking or bathing, and they rarely suffer from separation anxiety. Further, cats love a bit of alone time, making them perfect for pet owners who value personal space. Unless you adopt a special needs cat, a kitty usually requires little more than fresh food and water, a clean litter box, some toys, and lots of love. They also don’t need much space, so they’re perfect for apartment dwellers.
The research probably makes perfect sense if you’ve ever had a purring cat in your lap. And if you haven’t, now might be the ideal time to discover what you’ve been missing.
Inspired by TheCottageMarket.com Mummy Bones Dog Treats The pups want in on the Halloween fun, too! These pumpkin and peanut butter treats are sure to have them drooling and getting festive!
Ingredients
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1 egg
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1/2 cup peanut butter 1 cup all-purpose flour
2 tbsp honey
3/4 cup almond milk or water
1 1/2 cups whole-wheat flour
1 cup canned pumpkin 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1 tbsp baking powder
1 tsp cinnamon
Yogurt chips
Directions
The Firm at Sarina’s Wedding
1. Preheat oven to 325 F and line a baking sheet with parchment paper. 2. In a large bowl, mix wet ingredients together (egg, honey, almond milk, pumpkin, vanilla extract, and peanut butter). 3. In a separate bowl, mix dry ingredients together (flour, whole-wheat flour, baking powder, and cinnamon). 4. With your hands, combine the wet and dry ingredients until the dough is pliable. 5. Roll the dough until it’s about 1/2-inch thick. 6. Using cookie cutters, cut the dough into shapes of your choice. 7. Place “bones” on the baking sheet and bake for 20 minutes. 8. Flip the bones and bake for another 15 minutes. Allow to cool. 9. In a small bowl, melt the yogurt chips in the microwave, stir, and use as icing. 10. Serve to your pups — and watch them enjoy!
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A Lesson in Grit page 1
Taking Each Moment as It Comes What To Know Before Mediation page 2
3 Reasons to Adopt a Cat Mummy Bones Dog Treats page 3
It’s World Teachers’ Day! page 4
It’s World Teachers’ Day! 3 WAYS TO SHOW GRATITUDE
Teachers have impacted you and your children’s lives in more ways than one. Maybe they inspired you to take a certain career path, always understood you, or were there for you or your child when it was needed. Teachers have a demanding job, so in honor of World Teachers’ Day on Oct. 5, let’s take some time to appreciate them. Here are three ways to show your gratitude this month.
effort to create something specifically for them. You can write about a favorite memory you had with them or the ways they’ve inspired you. If you’re feeling extra generous, add a gift card to the note! A small message can go a long way in turning someone’s day around.
Volunteer when you can. In addition to teaching in the classroom, teachers need to chaperone students during field trips, recess, lunch, and standardized tests. Contact your child’s school and see when they need volunteers to help with these activities. Teachers will greatly appreciate it because they will have a chance to take a break or organize their materials for the next class. Even if it’s just for the day or a few hours, teachers will appreciate the extra assistance.
Donate school supplies. Some teachers spend personal funds to purchase school supplies for their classrooms. This expense can become costly, especially if they provide for multiple students. Donate unused notebooks, pencils, pens, or other school supplies to a teacher. Some teachers even have wish lists available if you want to purchase new items for their classrooms. They will appreciate your kindness, and the children who need these supplies will also be grateful.
Teachers play a vital role in preparing our children for the real world. They teach them vital social skills and problem-solving strategies that will assist them as they age. So, let’s take some time to show appreciation for their dedication to our children.
Write thank-you letters. If you had a teacher who impacted your life, or if
your child has a favorite teacher, write them a thank-you note. Handwritten notes are more meaningful than ones you buy at the store. It shows you put in time and
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