more spiritual when he pretends to ignore his body. Such may ex pose him to even stronger temp tations. One of the great safeguards to purity of life is a good marriage. A godly Christian marriage should solve the pressing, practical prob lems of sexual looseness. Marital infidelity can be over come if each partner recognizes that they have entered into a con tract in which both husband and wife owe it to each other to be sexually responsive. Calling mar riage a contract may not be very romantic, but that is how Scrip ture looks at it. “ The husband must always give his wife what is due her, and the wife, too, must do so for her husband." Sexual relations should not be regarded as a "fa vor" but rather a debt that is owed. A child's idea of love is getting, but an adult's concept should al ways be giving. There are too many "child marriages" these days as we see adults behave like babies. Mar riage is valued only because of what it does for them. They do not see it as a means of investing in the one loved. This is the basic difference between love and lust. The popular crooner whispering into the microphone, "I love you, I love you, I love you," may not mean that at all. He may really be saying "I love me, I love me, I want you." Christian love seeks the highest good of the person loved. Its primary thrust is not merely its own satisfaction. Neith er party should talk about "rights." The vital consideration should be the rights of the other. Paul defines love as being "patient, kind; it does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable nor resentful" (I Corinthians 13;5).
How wonderful to realize that of all the people on earth you alone are allowed by God to satisfy the need for sexual expression in your husband or wife. To refuse to do so is a moral matter and amounts to a fraud, a holding back of what is owed. Infide lity takes many forms. The word means "want of faith or belief; atheism or disbelief in God or religion; skepticism; un faithfulness in marriage; adultery, unfaithfulness to a charge or a mor al obligation; treachery; deceit." As Margaret Blair Johnson has pointed out (Your Life, December, 1952), everybody harps on the adultery angle of infidelity, but there is non-adulterous infidelity as well which undermines mar riage. Have you neglected the mor al obligation you assumed when you promised your husband or wife that they were getting a partner "to have and to hold?" Are you a responsive partner or do you not realize that the satisfying of the sex need is a moral obligation? If not, you may be guilty of the other sort of unfaithfulness mentioned in the dictionary: deceit. Mrs. Johnson observes, "Most women before marriage think they will be capable of meeting their husbands' sexual needs. Rather than admit later that they have overestimated their inclination, some women start what may be a completely unconscious process of deception. Instead of frankly work ing through the adjustments every marriage requires, they develop an illness or a fatigued or nervous state which excuses them (they feel) from marital duty." Of course, hus bands can play the same kind of games. By devious means they may excuse their selfish conduct. This is ultimately what it is: selfishness.
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