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DECEMBER 2022
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Take It One Day at a Time Through Plans and Good Habits
Every day is different for everyone. You may never know what will happen the next day, and I think the best way to handle that is to plan. Obviously, if you’re vacationing or traveling, you don’t need to have a plan — that’s the beauty in it — but on a regular day, having a short list of 1–3 things you want to get done can make for a productive day. A plan of a few things you can accomplish in a single day can take a weight off your shoulders. If you have 30 tasks a day, you can quickly become overwhelmed and stressed, and it can be hard to attack all those tasks in one sitting. But, you can make that shorter list the night before and go to bed with it in your head that knowing tomorrow, you can accomplish whatever it is you’re setting your mind to. We all deal with everyday problems, and so many different things can come up. Instead of worrying about the unknowns of the next day, planning gives you concrete goals, and you can accomplish a lot more — which is surprising if you think about it.
the deli to grab a sandwich or sit outside during my breaks. Being out of the office for 45 minutes or an hour was a game-changer for my mental health. I discussed this with a friend the other day. My buddy had been complaining about his sleep habits and how he had picked up better ones, and it was amazing to see how much of a difference it could make. Don’t underestimate the value of a good night’s rest to help you come back to a task refreshed! Everyone is different, but taking things one day at a time means not asking too much of yourself or neglecting your needs. It means recognizing the difference between what-ifs and what is. And when you can focus more on positive progress than a stressful overload, life is a lot more manageable. With the holidays upon us, I hope you find some time for yourself and if you can, squeeze in a little time reading a book to help you step away from all the hustle and bustle of the holidays!
By focusing on 1–3 things and completing those, you’re ahead of where most people will be!
One important thing I try to complete each day is to read something (advice I learned from a judge in New York many years ago). So wherever I am, there’s normally a book nearby. It’s not always something serious; sometimes, it may be fiction, but it allows me to disengage for a moment. It helps to have a mental break from an extensive task to avoid burnout. In the legal field, in general, it’s tough because you often feel like a machine asked to do legal work nonstop. But by taking a step back and disengaging for a moment — whether by reading a book or walking around the block — you can clear your head and feel refreshed and recharged. When I started my career in New York, during the first few years, I would order lunch, sit in my office, and eat my food while working simultaneously. Eventually, I just stopped, and instead, I’d walk to
–Andrew M. Ayers
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Melanie Shaha is currently fighting her third brain cancer battle. For 15 years, she’s been suffering from a benign tumor on her pituitary gland. Although she doesn’t mind being sick, going to her appointments, focusing on her treatment, and talking to loved ones about her cancer, she doesn’t like looking sick. If you didn’t know Shaha, you wouldn’t realize she was battling cancer. But this suddenly changed once she lost all of her hair. She had two surgeries, in 2003 and 2006, in hopes of removing the tumor on her pituitary gland, but they weren’t successful. Then, when she began radiation therapy in 2017, the treatment caused her hair to fall out. “Not having hair [makes] you stick out like a sore thumb, and well- meaning people can say things that break your heart,” Shaha told TODAY. She didn’t like all the attention and the looks people gave her in public. So, her 27-year-old son Matt had an idea. At first, Matt joked about cutting all of his hair off to make his mother a wig. But the joke soon became a plan, and Matt followed through in 2018. Locks of Love Son Makes a Wig for His Mother
him from cutting it, but Matt wanted to help her feel confident and comfortable in her skin. So, he chopped it off and sent his locks to Compassionate Creations, a hair company in Newport Beach, California, that created a wig for his mother. Now, Shaha has a piece of her son to take everywhere with her beautiful new tresses. “The color is spectacular, and we had it cut and styled with a hairdresser. Matt said it looked great on me. It sure fills your emotional cup,” Shaha says. If you — or someone you know — would like to donate your hair to cancer patients, you can donate to Locks of Love, Wigs For Kids, Chai Lifeline, and Children With Hair Loss. Research donation centers in your area if you would like to give back locally. Holiday Shopping Scams Businesses boom during the holiday season because more people buy their products and services. But this means potential scams can also increase, but you can do a few things to ensure your personal information and banking details are safe. You may see products online or advertisements on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok that pique your interest. But before you click “buy,” ensure the website is legitimate. Search for the product on a search engine to see if the same links appear. Carefully read reviews, look for website security credentials, and research unknown retailers before purchasing. It’s better to take extra precautions to ensure your information isn’t compromised. In addition, never use public Wi-Fi when purchasing items online. You’re more likely to be hacked when the Wi-Fi connection isn’t protected or in a secure network. Hackers tap into public internet sources and intercept your data through techniques like eavesdropping. Although it’s appealing to use public Wi-Fi because you think it’s free, it’s not. You pay with your personal information and data. If you or someone you know is a victim of fraud, report the scam to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) online or by phone at 1-877-382-4357. For more information on scams, fraud, and identity theft, go to USA.gov/scams-and-frauds to learn how to protect yourself better.
After graduating from college, Matt began growing his hair out. In no time, he had long and luscious hair. His mother tried to dissuade
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emails like these are all too common; unfortunately, millions of people’s data is compromised as a result. Understandably, when you first receive these scam emails, you panic because you think they are legitimate. But remember, USPS, UPS, Amazon, and FedEx won’t ask for personal information over email. A good rule of thumb is never to click on links in emails — even from the actual company. Scammers are very good at making their emails look authentic. Instead, go to the delivery company’s website and log in to your account. If action is required, you should see a notification in your portal. Alternatively, you can call the business’s customer service line to check if their email is authentic.
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TAKE A BREAK
We’ve all felt anxious, guilty, fearful, and sad — it’s a part of life. Perhaps you’ve tried to avoid or suppress these emotions, but you’re not a rock. As humans, we experience these feelings all the time. Trying to control them may only make matters worse. So, instead, focus on something you can control — your actions. That’s the central premise of Mark Freeman’s mental health book “You Are Not a Rock.” He aims to teach readers how to build emotional fitness and overcome their struggles and hardships with different techniques. The book is divided into two sections titled “The Basics” and “The Transformation.” The first half is about learning basic mental health skills and unlearning ways of thinking about mental health that cause us challenges. The second half focuses on how to create and build what you want to see in your life instead of trying to avoid and control what you can’t see. As you read, you’ll learn how to recognize your problems, practice mindfulness, prioritize and follow your values, and understand your fears. The strategies in “You Are Not a Rock” are the same tactics Freeman used in his personal life, and he shares some of those stories in the book. There are exercises at the end of each chapter that Freeman highly encourages you to complete. By TIRED OF FEELING ANXIOUS AND FEARFUL? Read ‘You Are Not a Rock’ by Mark Freeman
WINTER VEGETABLE SHEPHERD’S PIE
Inspired by BBCGoodFood.com
performing these exercises, you can
Ingredients
better understand the book’s contents and implement Freeman’s tactics in your life. Before Freeman helps readers begin their journey, he states that strengthening your mental health is like working on your physical health — you won’t see instant results. “Changing your brain takes time
• 4 garlic cloves, sliced • 1 sprig rosemary • 15-oz can diced tomatoes plus liquid • 1/2 cup water • 1 1/2 cups frozen peas • Milk, to desired consistency
• 6 1/2 cups potatoes, cut into large chunks • 2 tbsp olive oil • 2 onions, sliced • 1 tbsp flour • 2 large carrots, cut into rounds • 1/2 cauliflower, broken into florets
Directions
1. In a pot, boil potatoes until tender. 2. In a pan, heat oil over medium heat. Add onion and cook until softened. Stir in flour and cook for 2 minutes. Add carrots, cauliflower, garlic, and rosemary and stir until softened. 3. Pour tomatoes into mix and add water. Cover and let simmer for 10 minutes, then remove lid and cook for 15 minutes until thickened. Stir in peas and simmer. 4. Drain and mash potatoes. Stir in milk to desired consistency. 5. Preheat oven to 375 F. Spoon hot vegetable mix into pie dish, then top with mashed potatoes. Bake until top is golden brown.
and effort … I’m not going to share with you any magical supplements or special mantras. This is simply a book about actions,” Freeman says in his introduction. If you’re interested in reading “You Are Not a Rock,” you can purchase your copy wherever books are sold online or in bookstores.
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The Value of Making Every Day Count
What Started as a Joke Became Reality
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Winter Vegetable Shepherd’s Pie Tired of Feeling Anxious and Fearful?
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Protect Your Personal Data From Scammers
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We get busy shopping for Christmas gifts online and in-store during the holiday season. It’s the season that keeps on giving — but not for all. Scammers will devise clever ways to con you out of your hard-earned money. Some will take advantage of your generosity. So, as you scroll through shopping websites and wait for your gifts to come in the mail, be sure to protect yourself from scammers. Here are some tips. Holiday Mail Scams Shipping companies will give you updates and status on your items when you order something online or ship a package off. Although this tool is excellent for tracking where your orders are, scammers will send phishing emails pretending to be these shipping companies. These emails claim your package is lost or more information is needed to process your order or shipment. Some may have a webpage link for you to submit personal information. Phishing How to Avoid Holiday Scams ’Tis the Season for Giving — Not Stealing
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