What a Zip Line Taught Us About Trust WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO REALLY TRUST SOMEONE?
October 2018
Building connections with other people is a fundamental aspect of what it means to be human. Whether you are talking with a friend, parent, sister or brother, or even your grocer at the local market, in order to engage in real conversation, you have to have some kind of mutual trust. Conceptually speaking, getting another person to trust you might seem like an easy feat. But in reality, earning someone’s trust is far more complex. So much of what our team does here at Atlanta Divorce Law Group relies on our ability to develop meaningful relationships with clients that are based on trust, honesty, and respect. In fact, earning our clients’ trust early on helps us understand what success looks like for them— and the sooner we can understand that, the quicker we can help them reach it. While one could argue that good character is innate and cannot be learned, being a trustworthy and dependable person and exuding those characteristics to others requires attention and effort. For this reason, my team and I made the trek to Sojourn Adventures and spent an entire day focusing on the concept of trust. We spent time discussing our own definitions, deliberating the ways in which trust is earned, and acknowledging the struggle required to gain it back once it has been lost. We talked about ways we build and maintain trust among our team members, a process that, in turn, helps us to develop trust with our clients. In the end, we determined that the two major requirements for trust to exist are having honest conversations and fulfilling promises. Then, we took a more tangible (and frightening) approach by testing our ability
to trust each other and ourselves. With our stomachs turning, we climbed to the top of a 40-foot zip line and prepared ourselves for a huge leap. Even though every single one of us was terrified of heights, we didn’t want to let the rest of the team down. With a little ambition and a lot of encouragement from teammates, all 13 of us were able to face our fears and make the jump. While the zip line was primarily an exercise in facing fears and building bonds, the experience taught us so more much about the importance of showing vulnerability. I would be lying if I said that being vulnerable with others is easy. And it would certainly be false to claim that being vulnerable with yourself is easy. But when clients come to us during times when they are undergoing serious changes, our ability to be open and honest with them helps us forge authentic and mutually helpful professional relationships. By being vulnerable with them, we can foster a secure environment in which they feel comfortable sharing their priorities, their dreams, and their goals with us. feelings regarding custody negotiations. Not every parent feels equipped to handle the responsibility associated with 50/50 custody schedules. Some feel more comfortable with weekend visits. But due to moral or cultural obligations, they might feel compelled to claim that they want more. This doesn’t equate to neglectful parenting, and it definitely doesn’t warrant judgment from us. If our team can show these clients enough support that they feel comfortable admitting their needs, then we can get them closer to what success really looks like for them as a parent. We understand that being honest about difficult topics is definitely easier said than done. But in the same way that my team and I had to trust ourselves as we climbed to the top of that zip line, we ask that you trust yourself in your ability to make informed decisions for you and your family — and to trust us to help you in that process. Whether you are trembling at the top of a 40-foot drop-off or making life- altering relationship decisions, the only thing you have to worry about is the jump itself. We’ll help you find your wings on the way down. One example of honest conversation occurs when parents trust us with their
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–Sara Khaki
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Happy Halloween, you goblins, ghouls, witches, and spooks! It’s that time of year again when kids and adults alike can dress up and roam the streets as their favorite heroes, frights, or princesses. While kids are eager to show off their outfits and fill their pillowcases with sugary treasures, it’s crucial to be aware of the potential dangers on Halloween night. Even the Most Frightening Ghouls Need to Be Careful HAVE A FUN AND SAFE HALLOWEEN!
have sought out counseling, we’ve found that their approach to the whole experience is significantly different from some of the ones who opt out. Because clients seeking therapy have that additional support system, they are able to closely examine the reasons why they are filing in the first place. Additionally, they learn how to organize their priorities, to stop questioning their ability to manage life on their own, and to feel confident in their decisions. Most importantly, though, because they are able to reflect on their emotional state, they are less likely to use the legal system to accomplish PRACTICE STREET SAFETY Make sure your kids understand basic road safety. According to Safe Kids Worldwide, “Children are more likely to be struck by a vehicle and killed during Halloween than any other day of the year.” Before heading out for some good old- fashioned trick-or-treating, take the time to go over basic safety tips. Teach kids to look both ways before crossing, use crosswalks and traffic signals, cross streets on the corners, and never run across the street. Making eye contact with drivers before walking in front of their cars is also a good way to make sure the driver knows the child is there. CHOOSE SMART COSTUMES Halloween wouldn’t be Halloween without costumes! They should be fun, but you can also make them safer by following a few simple
a task it is unable to fulfill: exacting revenge upon a spouse. Our team understands that the decision to file for divorce is often coupled with feelings of anger and resentment. But being able to pinpoint those feelings can save you from wasting lots of time, energy, and money while trying to use the courtroom as a tool for retribution. No matter where you are in the process, having someone to help you through these life-altering changes can be beneficial for you and your family. We know a number of counselors who we trust and would be more than happy to help you set up your first appointment. guidelines. Add reflective tape to candy bags and costumes and wear light colors to stand out in the dark. Buying or making the right-sized costumes is also important. If they’re too large, they create a tripping hazard, and if they’re too tight, they can restrict movement. If your child wears a mask, make sure they can see out of it properly. MAKE A PLAN Before heading out to trick or treat, create a plan and discuss it with every member of your family. This ensures that if someone in your group wanders off, they’ll know where to look for you or where to go. In case you’re separated, label your child’s costume with your name, address, and phone number. If your children are old enough to trick or treat without adults, make sure that their cellphones are charged and on them at all times, and schedule regular check-ins.
OCTOBER IS NATIONAL EMOTIONALWELLNESSMONTH
How Divorce Counseling Helps
October is always associated with all things Halloween, but not many people are aware that this month is also recognized as National Emotional Wellness Month. According to a 2013 study, 80 percent of U.S. employees report experiencing high levels of stress while at work. This suggests that work-related concerns are some of the leading stressors in the country. But add to that the pressures of navigating the emotional minefield of divorce, and you might feel devastatingly stuck — unsure how to move forward. Here at Atlanta Divorce Law Group, our team truly believes that your emotional health is just as important as your physical health. For this reason, we are strong proponents of using counseling as a tool to get you through the emotional complexities associated with divorce. We understand that in some places, there is still a stigma surrounding the idea of therapy. One of our primary missions is to break down that stigma. When working with clients who
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With Halloween on the horizon, it’s worth noting that fear plays a curious role in people’s lives. Whether people are searching for the scariest Halloween costumes for their kids or trying to pick the most suspenseful murder-mystery film, frightful feelings are often at the forefront of their mind. While the terror that accompanies these Halloween festivities is superficial in nature, our attorneys here at Atlanta Divorce Law Group want to acknowledge two of the most common and serious fears we hear from clients going through custody negotiations. One of the biggest fears clients have pertains to their financial security after a divorce. For example, during their previous marriages, many of our clients were stay-at-home mothers. While numerous responsibilities fell on their shoulders, such as taking care of the children, shopping for groceries, and maintaining the home, they didn’t earn a living wage for their efforts. Then, in the aftermath of a divorce, they are tasked with finding a way to financially provide for themselves and their family. For some, this means joining the workforce for the first time. While this can be quite scary, we WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF? The 2 Biggest Fears We Hear From Parents
have several concierge partners who can help with financial planning, resume building, and preparing for job interviews.
Another fear we frequently hear has to do with a parent worrying that after they move out, they won’t be able to play such a large role in their kids’ lives anymore. In most family dynamics, there is one parent who is more involved in their kids’ extracurricular activities and schooling. This usually doesn’t indicate any kind of neglect; it’s just often how parenthood works. In order to ensure that the children are getting time with both parents and that the parents are comfortable with their level of responsibility, our attorneys meticulously work to create an ideal custody arrangement for all involved. Lastly, we know that when it comes to the fears associated with major life changes, we have only touched the tip of the iceberg. If you are experiencing fears related to financial security, custody negotiations, or any other concerns, don’t hesitate to reach out to our team for guidance. LIKE & SHARE OUR FACEBOOK LIVE POSTS TO WIN A $100 GIFT CARD
SPICED PUMPKIN SEED CRUNCH
INGREDIENTS
• • • • • • • • •
1 large egg white
1 teaspoon light agave syrup
1/2 teaspoon garam masala or curry powder
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 cup shelled pumpkin seeds 1/4 cup shelled sunflower seeds
1/4 cup raw cashews, coarsely chopped
1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper Nonstick vegetable oil spray
DIRECTIONS
1. Heat oven to 300 F. 2. Coat a baking sheet with cooking spray. 3. In a mixing bowl, whisk together egg white, agave, salt, and spices. Add nuts and seeds and toss until evenly coated. 4. Using a slotted spoon, strain spoonfuls of mixture over bowl and transfer to baking sheet. Discard excess egg white mixture. 5. Bake 20–25 minutes, tossing once. 6. Let cool and serve.
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Inside This Issue
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What Does It Mean to Really Trust Someone?
Trick-or-Treating Safety!
National Emotional Wellness Month
What Are You Most Afraid Of?
Spiced Pumpkin Seed Crunch
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The Surprising Origins of Trick-or-Treating
Why There Are Kids on Your Porch Asking for Candy The History of Trick-or-Treating
As Halloween looms and you load up your grocery cart with candy, you may ask yourself, “Why do I provide these spooky gremlins with a sugar high every Oct. 31, anyway?” Well, when your doorbell starts ringing around 6 p.m. this All Hallows’ Eve, you can thank the Celts for this tradition of candy and costumes. Halloween itself is a kind of mishmash of four different cultural festivals of old: two Roman fêtes, which commemorated the dead and the goddess of fruit and trees (not at the same time); the Celtic Samuin or Samhain, a new year’s party thrown at the end of our summer; and the Catholic All Saint’s Day, designed to
replace Samuin and divorce it from its pagan origins.
By the 11th century, people were dressing up as saints, angels, and the occasional demon instead of spirits. Eventually, costumed children started tearing through town begging for food and money and singing a song or prayer in return — a practice called “souling.” But when did they start dressing up as Minions? Starting in the 19th century, souling turned to “guising,” which gave way to trick-or- treating in mid-20th-century America, and the costumes diversified. So put on some clown makeup and a big smile, scoop up a handful of sweets, and scare the living daylights out of ‘em — ‘tis the season!
Long before there were young’uns on your porch dressed as Thanos with candy-filled pillowcases in hand, the Celts believed that Samuin marked an overlapping of the realms of the living and the dead. To trick the spirits leaking into our world, young men donned flowing white costumes and black masks — a great disguise when ghosts were about. The Catholic Church was never a big fan of these pagan traditions, so they renamed it “All Saints’ Day” and gussied it up in religious garb.
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