talking it over with Dr. Clyde M. Narramore
Dr. Narramore, graduate of Columbia University, New York City, is a pschologist and Consultant in Research and Guidance with one of the largest school systems in the United States.
Answer: The problem you have raised has come to my attention frequently. There are many who have committed adultery or fornication and have had a child bom to them who have suf fered much mental anguish because of this sin. Naturally there is no perfect solu tion. God’s Word tells us that our sins w ill find us out and that the way of the transgressor is hard. So you will have to live with this problem. However, God is merciful and for gives us of every sin if we turn peni tently to Him and ask forgiveness. You will remember that in the New Testament, in the case of the woman who was taken in adultery, Jesus told her to “ Go and sin no more.” I sense from your letter that this ex perience is still an unresolved matter with you. Perhaps you have not real ly accepted God’s complete forgive ness even though He has forgiven you. Remember this: if you earnestly seek God’s forgiveness He does for give you whether you believe it or not. I suggest you carefully read the following portions of Scripture: Psalm 51; Psalm 32:5; Isaiah 1:18 and, of course, Isaiah 55:7, “ Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the Lord, and He will have mercy upon him; and unto our God, for He w ill abundantly pardon.” I believe that you are tending to enlarge your past experience. Instead, you should minimize it. It will do the child no good to keep reminding him that he is illegitimate. It certain ly is not his fault. I agree with your husband that you should not mention it. The child was bom to you several months after you were married and it may never become an embarrassing fact to him at all. As your son grows up and gives his heart to the Lord, he
A CHILD CONCEIVED BEFORE MARRIAGE
may very well receive a Christian education in another part of the country and may serve the Lord in some other community. Even if your son should raise the question some day, it will not be de vastating to him if he is securely sur rounded by parental love, and, more important, by God’s own eternal love. This incident is past history. True, you and your husband have sinned. But God has forgiven you. Let’s not dig up old bones. “ Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reach ing forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3: 13, 14). HALLUCINATIONS Question: Just what are hallucina tions? Answer: Hallucinations are sensations which seem real to a person but which have no outside cause (stimu lus). “ Seeing (or hearing) things” that are not there. More rarely, there are hallucinations of smell, taste or touch. Hallucinations may be brought about by certain drugs, including al cohol. They also occur in certain types of psychoses. LISTEN TO DR. NARRAMORE over KBBI, 107.5 me, Los An geles, Monday through Friday, 12 :45-1 :00 P.M. with "Psy chology for Living." (Also heard on selected stations across the country and foreign missionary radio installations around the world.)
Question: Although both my husband and 1 are now born again believers, we had a child conceived before our marriage. This fact is known in the church we attend and by our friends and relatives. Praise God, our Chris tian friends have accepted this, and we find that we still have a place of service in the church. This is some thing which we know God has for given, and we feel that H e w ill still allow us the privilege of serving Him but perhaps in an altered channel. This major problem has been pretty resolved, y et a new one obviously rises: w h a t t o t e l l t h is c h il d as WELL AS OUR OTHER CHILDREN. OUT baby is only a few months old, but I t h i n k he should in some w a y grow up with this knowledge. M y husband feels that this should never be mentioned, and we should attempt to keep it from him. It seems to me that with the number of people who know this, it would be impossible to keep it from him forever. I think this kind of knowledge coming to him later as a sensitive teenager could be completely devastating to him. Don’t you feel that it would be better if we told him ourselves? Could it be explained to him that he was bom because of the love be tween my husband and me? What would be advisable? In my position I ■have come in con tact with several other Christian cou ples with the same problem, and I feel there must be many others who perhaps would be too timid to make this request. In other words, would you consider discussing this sometime in “ The King’s Business?’? Needless to say, sound counsel on this problem is deeply desired.
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THE KING'S BUSINESS
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