Heartists choose to be actively compassionate.
I WILL ONLY like you if ...
We learn that we are loved and liked more, when we do what others want us to do. When we behaved in ways that pleased our parents, we got rewarded with praise, which made us feel good. When we misbehaved, we were likely to have experienced their disappointment, and we felt less loved, less loveable, as a result. We learnt our family’s way of dealing with conflict and we found our own brand of 'normal'. Essentially, we learn what ‘being good’ means, and then we unconsciously expect this ‘good’ behaviour from ourselves and others and we judge people for not living up to our mostly, unexpressed standards. Then we bring these standards into our workplaces, our relationships and our homes and wonder why everyone else is so odd.
COMPASSION IS ACTIVE. NOT JUST A FEELING BUT A DOING.
Is it possible to love someone you don’t actually like that much? Hugh Mackay, social researcher and author, believes it is. And that kind of love is called compassion. Compassion is about how we choose to act towards other people, regardless of how we feel towards them.
If only they could be more normal, like me!
84 | THREE: EVERY PERSON HAS A STORY
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