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M arch 2025 Listening Without an Agenda
ARE YOU REALLY HEARING OTHERS?
Have you ever caught yourself crafting the perfect response in your head while someone else is speaking? There’s an important distinction between listening to respond and listening to understand. Many of us do the former, maybe picking up a few words before jumping in to finish the rest of the sentence, paragraph, and perhaps even the whole story while the other person is talking. While we aren’t necessarily trying to be confrontational, the need to put in our two cents can get in the way of genuinely listening without an agenda to another person. March is Listening Awareness Month, which encourages us to hone our listening skills and reflect on how well we hear and understand others. Active listening goes beyond waiting your turn to speak; it is about being present, showing empathy, and making someone feel heard and valued.
trauma and trumping it with a “better” worse off story. For us to get to the place of listening to understand, we have to acknowledge our desire to respond in real time. It’s a matter of being tuned into your emotions as they arise and choosing to pause. When you are intensely aware of your feelings, you can recognize them as they happen. You’ll spot your chemistry changing as you prepare a response, making it easier to stay focused on the speaker. You can show someone you hear them by paraphrasing their words and checking to ensure you understand their viewpoint. As family lawyers, people hire us to be problem solvers, so our natural approach is to listen to a client and ask ourselves, “How can I fix this?” That internal voice can take over, and we could easily miss what our client shares. All the nonverbal cues, like body language and tone, are also important, giving even deeper clarity into a person’s meaning. We also need the curiosity to ask relevant, meaningful follow-up questions. Sometimes, when people relate a story, they share a detail that feels inconsequential or irrelevant. However, in my experience, that’s never shared “just because.” It may be nonsensical, but somewhere in the speaker’s mind, a connection is there, which is a great place to start as a listener. Your curiosity as a listener could help spark discoveries for the speaker, too, especially when their story hints at something else under the surface. Imagine a woman discovering infidelity in her marriage, a seemingly straightforward situation involving another woman. As you listen, you may pick up cues that perhaps that other person isn’t whom they expected. Maybe her husband’s closest friend, Tom, is more in the picture than she realized. Asking open-ended questions could help her examine the details she may have overlooked and begin to connect the dots on her own time. As listeners, it’s our role to create a safe space for the speaker to share their true point of view and feel heard. By letting someone speak and asking curious, empathic questions, we show them their experiences matter. As hard as it is not to interject with our own great story, we need to set aside our agendas and stay focused on understanding.
First and foremost, as listeners, we must help the other person in the conversation feel safe. Many people cloak what they’re saying based on their defensive state, making it difficult for them to share where they are really coming from. When our goal is to comprehend the whole nature of what the other person is trying to communicate, it can help relieve some of their apprehension.
–Michael Manely
We often feel a powerful need to be correct, and we’ll dive in on autopilot to dominate the conversation. People can get stuck in one-upmanship, hearing a
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Your Voice, Your Values, Your Legacy ESTATE PLANNING FOR WOMEN WHO INSPIRE
March is Women’s History Month, a time to honor the incredible trailblazing legacies of the women whose contributions have helped to shape our world. But legacy isn’t just about our accomplishments; it’s about what we leave behind for those we love. Through estate planning, women can go beyond the paperwork to pass down their values. Whether it’s continuing
your grandmother’s tradition of generosity or ensuring your favorite charitable causes receive support, estate planning helps you shape the future and share the story of who you are. What legacy do you want to leave as a woman, mother, grandmother, auntie, or sister? PROTECTING YOUR FAMILY Do you hope to leave a legacy of love and support intergenerational wealth in your family? Your estate plan can give you peace of mind that your loved ones will be safe and cared for even after you are no longer here. By specifying who will care for your children if you become incapacitated or pass away, you ensure they will have a happy, healthy life. You can give members of your family assets that will help them build a life and legacy of their own, providing a loving jump start. SUPPORTING YOUR CAUSES What causes, organizations, and issues are dear to your heart? Whether it’s your church, a nonprofit you
volunteer for, or an institution like a museum that supports something you love, continuing to serve them through your estate plan is possible. You can incorporate charitable giving into your plan in multiple ways, like adding charitable bequests to your will or establishing a charitable trust. These powerful ways to leave a lasting mark on the world show how much your passions and helping others mean to you. EMPOWERING YOU Estate planning supports your growth, dreams, and visions for your future as a woman. What are your big goals in life? You can empower yourself through planning. For example, if you’ve gotten married, set your relationship up for success and far less stress by creating a strong foundation through estate planning. No matter your situation, you can protect your business, prepare for the milestone of home ownership, and overcome significant mental hurdles by having a clear, solid plan.
A Passion for Helping Families Through Life’s Challenges MEET EMILY JOHNSTON At The Manely Firm, we believe family law isn’t just about legal cases — it’s about real people, their stories, and their futures. Our Associate Attorney, Emily deaths in her family, she was ready for a change and discovered The Manely Firm.
me,” she said. “I think family law is a good blend of my interests. I get to work with families and children daily, and I think this has been a good fit for my overall personality and interests.” Emily represents clients in various family law areas, from divorces to adoptions. Her days can vary vastly, and she’s never bored. She enjoys the firm’s team dynamic and can lean on anyone on the staff for support. Outside of work, Emily loves to relive her days as a theater and choir kid by watching live music, plays, and musicals. She also enjoys going to sporting events with her partner, traveling, and snuggling with her two dogs, Georgie and Gus. As a third-year attorney, Emily said that finding her place in family law this October with our firm has inspired her for the future. “I have learned so much and feel I have grown a lot. I am ready to hit the ground running with the rest of my career here, and I’m excited for the work we get to do for our clients.”
Johnston, loves building meaningful relationships with clients and serving them as they navigate some of life’s most challenging transitions. “I think the most rewarding part is being able to come to work and know I’m working for an actual human being and get to have that personal connection with my clients,” she said. Emily majored in elementary education but soon realized she wanted to make a larger impact. With a passion for helping children, she decided to go to law school and began exploring the many different practice areas of law. After working in various roles, such as compliance, health care regulatory projects, insurance, and civil claims, Emily felt like there was something more for her. She wanted to do more meaningful work directly with clients. Last year, after experiencing several
“The work I’m doing here is fulfilling that need in me to do something that matters and actually interests
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CLASSIC FISH FRY
Have you ever felt overwhelmed by your emotions or had a panic attack? The limbic system is the part of the brain responsible for our feelings, heart rate, and breathing. When stress hits — whether it’s because of an argument, a betrayal, or simply the pressure of walking into a courtroom — your limbic system floods the body with chemical responses, and no amount of “just calm down” is going to fix it. Breathing techniques can help you regulate your emotions and act as a direct pathway into the limbic system, telling your brain there’s no need to panic. Let’s explore the brain science behind how something as simple as breathing can help you handle even the most emotionally charged moments. The limbic system subconsciously takes care of functions like breathing and heart rate, unlike the frontal lobe, where real emotional discernment can occur. When facing stressors like many clients do, you can directly influence the limbic system and better understand and regulate your feelings. Focused and timed breathing techniques and a developed emotional vocabulary are effective tools for calming down. If you can control your breathing and focus on the root cause of your emotions, you can be in control of your mind, not the other way around. If you are panicked, upset, or angry, stop, breathe in, and hold for five, repeating this several times. It’s your way of telling your brain there’s no need to pump out this cortisol because you are here and aware of your situation. You understand your feelings and need peace to resolve them. You can also use a cyclic sign, another powerful breathing method, to achieve calm. This technique involves taking a deep breath, then another smaller inhale, followed by a long, slow exhale from your mouth. Family law cases are deeply emotional, and at The Manely Firm, we work to guide clients through challenges like detangling emotional bonds and facing difficult emotions like betrayal. Tools like focused breathing and the cyclic sigh are invaluable for calming ourselves down and taking back control in the moments we feel overwhelmed so we can face even the most stressful situations with confidence and clarity. Regulating Emotions Through Focused Breathing MATTERS OF THE HEART
Inspired by FoodNetwork.com
I ngredients
• Vegetable oil • 2 lbs fresh cod • Salt and pepper, to taste • 1/2 cup all-purpose unbleached flour • 2 large eggs
• 2 tbsp water • 2 cups plain bread crumbs • 1/2 tsp mustard powder • 1/4 tsp cayenne pepper • Lemon wedges
D irections 1. Pour 2 inches of vegetable oil into a large skillet over medium-high heat. 2. Cut cod into 4 servings and season with salt and pepper. 3. Place flour into a pie tin. Whisk egg and water in a second pie tin. Combine bread crumbs, mustard powder, and cayenne in a third pie tin. 4. Coat your fish in the flour tin, then the egg tin, then the bread crumb tin. 5. Set coated fish in hot oil and fry for 5 minutes on each side. 6. Serve with lemon wedges and enjoy!
“The deep roots never doubt spring will come.” –M arty R uben
–Shelia Manely
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211 Roswell St. NE Marietta, GA 30060 (866) 687-8561 www.allfamilylaw.com
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How to Become a Better Listener Today
Empowering Women to Lead Beyond Today How Emily Builds Meaningful Client Relationships Using Your Breath to Take Control of Stress Classic Fish Fry
Engage Your Kids With Fun Gardening Projects
GREEN THUMBS IN TRAINING HOW TO MAKE GARDENING A FAMILY ADVENTURE
There’s nothing better than spending time with your kids outside, enjoying an entertaining, creative, and informative activity. But sometimes, these activities are hard to coordinate. Thankfully, gardening appeals to parents and kids from all walks of life. All you need is a dedicated area in your yard or patio and seeds, and you’re ready to get started. LET YOUR KIDS CHOOSE THE PLANTS. This is arguably the most crucial part of igniting your children’s interest in gardening. If you pick out the fruits, veggies, and flowers you want to grow and invite your kids to help plant, water, and pick, they may lose interest quickly. Instead, include them in the process from the get-go. Take them to the store and let them pick out seeds or plants. Encourage them to choose produce they already enjoy eating, making it even more fun for them! Just be sure their choices can grow in your area during the current season. MAKE SPACE AND PLANT TOGETHER. After choosing your seeds, you must ensure your garden is ready to sustain life. Dedicate a section of your lawn or patio to your gardening efforts and start laying soil or filling your planters. Help your children transplant their seeds or young plants directly into the area. Now, put them in charge of caring for the plants by checking on and watering them. You may want to follow behind to ensure they aren’t over or under-watering.
MAKE IT FUN AND INFORMATIVE! You can get your kids more involved by encouraging them to research their plants and track their growth. They can even look online to see how their plants should be developing. Soon enough, those fruits and vegetables will be ready to eat, and you should let your children pick anything ripe when possible. Seeing the fruits of their labor (literally) will make this experience even more enlightening and enjoyable for them.
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