Lyndon Thomas Insurance
BEING A BETTER GRANDPARENT
Have You Adapted to Your New Role?
There are few roles as coveted as being a grandparent, but today’s grandparents do far more than slip $10 bills and hard candies to their grandchildren. While there are still opportunities for growth, new studies have found that grandparents are taking on active roles and loving it. Here are two prominent lessons on grandparenting in 2022. Positive Progress: Supporting Grandchildren The make-up of American families today isn’t cut and dry. An AARP survey found that one-third of grandparents are a different race than their grandchildren and most would support their LGBTQ+ grandchildren. While many grandparents find sharing pieces of their heritage is important with grandchildren, a 2021 Good Housekeeping article noted that many grandparents who share different ethnicities with their grandchildren welcome new cultures. In fact, many weave their traditions together. When it comes to navigating these waters, Good Housekeeping recommends talking about an approach with parents first. Some may choose to keep or remove certain traditions. Furthermore, grandparents are viewing their roles with grandchildren as active rather than passive. A 2021 Good Housekeeping survey of parents and grandparents discovered that nearly 70% said they were
“cooler” than their own grandparents and that they want to babysit, versus feeling obligated.
Needs Work: Supporting Parents The 2019 AARP study shares that most grandparents surveyed believe they parent better than their grandchildren’s parents, but it may be best if that thought isn’t vocalized. In contrast to this, the Good Housekeeping survey explained that grandparents “sharing outdated advice” was among the biggest frustrations for parents. Instead, experts at Stanford Children’s Health recommend taking “grandparenting classes,” which provide new grandparents with the latest medical direction that parents are provided. And, if you feel obligated to share advice, ask first and make sure the parent knows it’s only your perspective. In all other scenarios, it’s best to keep your opinion to yourself and foster a grandparenting relationship that supports your grandchildren’s parents.
Want to be a better grandparent? Sign up for a local grandparenting class; these are typically offered through medical or community centers.
MANAGING TELEPHONE ABUSE TIME-WASTERS AND SCAMS
2 216-B E. Matilija St., Ojai, CA 93023 Our generation was taught to be respectful and that hanging up on a telephone caller is rude. Here’s my take on the matter: Our cultural Federal agencies, the IRS, the Social Security Administration, and Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS or “Medicare”) make any needed initial contact to taxpayers and beneficiaries by mail, not by telephone. If you take a telephone call, no matter how urgent, from anyone claiming to be from these agencies, it is a scam! There are no sudden “fines or legal cases against you” that need an immediate, over-the-phone payment. In fact, if you have not received written communication from a government agency through the mail , it is a scam. Again, these agencies send initial contacts by mail. Doesn’t it seem like the phone calls never end? Many calls are just time-wasters, like the auto warranty renewal gag or when Hilton calls congratulating you on winning a week’s stay somewhere you don’t want to go. The truly dangerous ones are more believable: IRS impersonators, Social Security imposters, or the grandparent scam, where the scammer finds the name of one of your grandchildren and calls claiming they’ve been arrested and need $4,000 for bail right now! They’ll ask for you to go to the bank for a money order, immediately …
expectations have changed dramatically over the past 50 years. We learned cultural etiquette long before the telephone became a marketing device. We were trained to be respectful to strangers. Most of our incoming telephone calls were from people we knew. Hanging up in the middle of a call felt like the epitome of rudeness. Times have changed. Telemarketing is so common now, it’s an invasion of our privacy. Many of the telemarketing callers are highly trained to manipulate you — even with rudeness — to stay on the line, to keep you talking, to wear you down.
Here’s my advice.
No. 1: Let voicemail screen your calls. If it’s a number you don’t recognize, let it go to voicemail. People who have a legitimate reason to talk with you will leave a voicemail. (Ha! But that means you should empty your voicemail box once in a while!) No. 2: Just hang up. If someone you don’t know calls you and is rushing and pressuring you, it is not legitimate. Hang up! The bottom line is that if anyone is pressuring you over the phone for money or to make an important decision, they are not helping you — they’re trying to “work you,” and it’s okay to just hang up.
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