Last Love Letter by Barbara Gillett Saunders, Grief Counsellor Thanatologist Have you ever given a thought to your last love letter? I do not mean love letter in the Valentine’s sense. I mean an after- you-die letter that is left to your loved ones, family and friends; a letter that is positive, not negative.
Picture this in your mind: after you have died, amidst tears and sadness your loved one is receiving a special letter from you. Can you see them reading and rereading your words? Have you answered questions or left comments of praise and affection? This may be your last chance to say what you need to say. It is important to always keep ‘do no harm’ in the forefront. If you cannot say or write something nice, do not say anything at all. WORDS ARE POWERFUL ! Of those who would deliberately leave a negative, malicious intended letter to someone after they have died, I often wonder if it speaks volumes about the letter writer or if it reflects on the perceived relationship between those concerned. It is sad but true, but there are people who will do this; if this speaks to you, please reconsider and DO NOT leave a letter at all. I know there are situations that require diplomacy and perhaps somewhat of a ‘taking the higher road’ approach when looking back on relationships. If at all possible, consider coming from a compassionate spot and writing from an ‘I’ perspective, not an accusatory ‘you’ standpoint where fingers are pointed at someone else’s actions.
For some, death is in the near future and you may have time to write your letter(s). For others, you may want to start writing letters now to those you care about and set them aside, perhaps add more to them as life goes on. Putting notes with your will is another idea, mentioning special moments you remember, times you smiled and cried together, how proud you are of the person they have become --leaving words of wisdom for situations that may arise in their lives, perhaps mentioning what inspired you in life and what you found difficult, how you overcame challenges and came to understand life the way you do now or where you had hoped to be. You could be the one who leaves a loved one with a smile and warmth in their heart at a time when grief and sadness may be strong. Perhaps forgiveness for self or another person is what is needed and can be stated in this format. A letter may have the effect of healing a heart’s loss with something tangible to hold onto, to reread when needed -- a special sign of love specifically for that individual from you. For many people love does not die or leave after you are gone.
Hometown St. Thomas
All articles written by Geoff Rae unless otherwise noted. Copy Editor – Peter Bloch-Hansen Publisher – Barb Botten barb@villagerpublications.com Graphic Artist – Cathy Wood We look forward to hearing from you. Copyright @ 2015 Villager Publications. All rights reserved. This magazine or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the Publisher. Information presented has been compiled from sources believed to be accurate at the time of printing however the Publisher assumes no responsibility for errors or omissions. Geoffrey Rae Managing Editor / Sales Geoff@villagerpublications.com • 519-495-7177
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