TALKING IT OVER with Dr. Clyde M. Narramore
Dr. Narramore, graduate of Columbia University, New York City, is a psychologist and Consultant in Research and Guidance with one of the largest school systems in the United States
morning and evening. If convenient pray aloud. This will help to keep out thoughts of the world while you are praying. (c) Attend a fine, gospel church regularly. God teaches us in His Word that we should not forsake the assembling of ourselves together. There are good reasons for this. When we regularly attend church we not only worship God but we are also in structed. We also have fellowship with other believers. This is neces- sary for the development of a strong spiritual personality. (d) Commence a program of read- ing Christian literature. I have often thought that every believer should be continuously in the process of reading some fine Christian book. At your local Christian bookstore you will find a number of things that will help you. Do you take any Christian maga zines? If not I suggest you subscribe to one or more. Beside denomina- tional magazines there are several o u t s t a n d i n g interdenominational magazines such as The King’s Busi ness which carry unusually fine arti cles by Christian leaders. (e) Finally, consider the ways in which you can witness for Christ. Every believer should be witnessing. It is one thing to sponge up spiritual things, but it is another to let God work through us by witnessing to others. You need to realize your personal worth and the unique contribution which you can make as God’s hand maiden. This may be achieved in several ways. As you read the Scrip tures, God will speak to you about your personal worth. You will learn that you are of such great value; that He left Heaven and came to earth to suffer and die for you. If you will ob serve the suggestions above you will find that as the months go by, God will help you resolve this conflict to His glory.
different symptoms from yours. Yours is undoubtedly a personality problem. As you have indicated in your letter, your basic psychological needs of being wanted, desired, appreciated, of belonging and having confidence have cried out to be met. But since these needs were not fulfilled, you have tried to meet them in fantasy. And of course, if your f a n t a s ie s persist through the years they almost become realities. As a result you have a per sonality conflict. But according to your letter I see no trace of homo sexuality. You should discuss the problem fully — several times with a Christian psychologist or psychiatrist. If one is not available discuss the problem com pletely with a confidential friend. This will help you understand the causes and rid yourself of the per sistent thoughts. This is the way to make problems disappear. This is how God made us. Set up a spiritual development pro gram for yourself. Become settled firmly in the things of God. Then many of your problems will disap pear. The most wholesome, normal life for any human being is to know Christ as his personal Saviour and to live every moment for Him. I suggest a five point program for spiritual development: (a) Make sure that you spend some time every day reading God’s precious Word. We are cleansed through the Word. “Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word” (Psalm 119:9). We are instructed through His Word. “I have more understanding than all my teachers: for thy testimonies are my medita tion” (Psalm 119:99). (b) Devote some time each day to prayer. I suggest you develop a prayer list, then mark off the items as God answers them. This prayer time should be alone, and preferably each
IMAGINING OPPOSITE SEX Question. / grew up in a family of five girls and I always felt that my par ents would have been hapy, had 1 been a boy. They never came right out and told me they wished I had been a boy, but somehow children sense these things. And 1 knew they wanted a son. So I made myself into a tomboy, and I used to daydream that I was a boy. Whenever my sisters and l played house, I always took the part of the father or husband in the family. Even as a teenager, 1 would day dream that I was a boy — handsome, dashing, and popular with all of the girls. In my imagination I always chose a shy, quiet, sensible girl for my dates. There was never any sex involved in these daydreams; just popularity and a feeling of poise and self-confidence. Even after my marriage, I have sometimes found myself preoccupied with these same thoughts. I have been happily married to a wonderful Christian man for almost six years now, and these thoughts are less fre quent than formerly. But subcon sciously, 1 still have the feeling that had I been born a boy, I would have had more poise and self-confidence, and as a result would not now have such a feeling of inferiority around other people. This is not a good, healthy attitude for a Christian to have, and I am wondering if you can give me some suggestions to help solve this problem. Could this lead into homosexuality? Answer. It was a pleasure to receive your cordial, forthright letter. In writing, you have already taken the first step in overcoming such feelings — getting them out in the open, dis cussing them, seeking spiritual help, and learning new ways of developing self-confidence. You are evidently not a homosexual and you should never think of your self as one. A homosexual has very
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THE KING'S BUSINESS
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