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Dispatches from the Highlands
$4.20 Cents
Cannatown Science
WAYMO DISCONTINUES SERVICE TO SPAGHETTI FACTORY
In a statement to the press--and advertised on their phone app, things have gone"Way" overboard for Waymo, who announced they will not be conducting passenger service to or from e Old Spaghetti Factory in Can- naTown any longer. e popular Italian eatery has long been a
smell of regurgitated Italian food has become so synonymous with the car service, the company is eager to rework the soiled reputa- tion. “ is is somehow even worse than Buca di Beppo,” said spokesperson Trudy Shears. Ever since the restaurant upped the potency of their infused eggplant parmesan, authori-
staple in rampant Canna- Town munchies, winning an award for ‘heaviest meal’ in 2017 and more recognition in 2020 for the density of their so ball- sized meatballs. Long lines o en form for hours as local residents snake their way through the buet, seizing plates of stromboli,
ties have noted an uptick in unusual behavior in downtown CannaTown, including last month’s ashmob of people on stilts, and the occasional popup circuses, fueled by sauce-spattered space cadets, wandering the streets in food comas. e eects of such
calzones, and pizza, among other pastas. Citing cases of ‘marinara strewn across the white leather upholstery” and “rowdy tech- destroying passengers drunk on sambuca,” the company has blocked all automated rides within the 4-block radius. Allegedly, the
hijinks and grotesque digestion have aected other area businesses beyond just Waymo. “Business has been really good,” said Mae Lanta, who sells Maalox in the alley next to e Factory. “But I get it, I’d never drive any of these bloated stoners around, god forbid.”
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