Understanding self-esteem Which of these factors contributes to developing self- esteem? • Unconditional love • Success at tasks such as athletics, music lessons, or dancing • Being popular and “fitting in” • Being able to cope with negative feedback and to overcome adversity and problems When handled properly, negative and positive experiences both can help build self-esteem. All these factors play a role in developing self-esteem, but the last may be most important. By teaching kids how to cope with stressful events and solve problems, we help them develop valuable, lifelong skills that boost self- esteem. 8 Tips: It’s important for your child to gain your approval, so try to praise more than criticize. 1. Praise often. Praise behavior you want to encourage. Catch your child doing things right. For example: “Nice job! You earned an ‘A’ on your homework!”
It’s important for your child to gain your approval, so try to praise more than criticize.
2. Give choices. Where possible, allow your child to make decisions for himself or herself, especially for small choices like choosing between games or clothing. Try to let your child be his or her own person. 3. Provide responsibilities. Kids who have regular duties around the house know they are helping out. They learn to see themselves as a useful and important part of the family unit. Chores such as washing the dishes, folding laundry, feeding a pet, or taking out the trash help your child to understand responsibilities and have an active role in the family. 4. Enforce rules in private. If possible, do not punish your child in public, especially in front of his or her friends. This leads to humiliation and lowers self-esteem. Wait until a private moment to discuss an issue such as forgotten homework or chores. 5. Praise effort. Let your son or daughter know that they don’t always have to “win” or be perfect. Don’t deny that winning feels good, but take pride in the process of activity rather than the outcome. 6. Set realistic goals. When too much is expected of a child, failure and low self-esteem follow. Be realistic about your own expectations and help your child to be realistic.
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