Truth Buster (CONT’D FROM PAGE 1)
others are drawn from The Book of TRUST. I’m sure you can think of more. All those behaviors fall into the “NoBS” component of my relative trust model, al- though they can stretch into other components such as empathy, personality compatibility, and even competence and symmetry. The NoBS and BS parts of the following list are the ex- treme ends of a range. You may not be exactly near one of those extremes, but you could be close enough (in case of NoBS behavior) or too close (in case of BS behavior) to one.
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The other person’s determination of the balance be- tween BS and NoBS of your behaviors is cumulative across all those ranges. Keep in mind that trust is relative. I’ve been saying this since I started my research on trust. The same behavior that would cause one person to trust you could cause an- other person to distrust you. Some behaviors listed here are more universal and absolute (such as telling the truth), while others are more “localized,” cultural, or even personal. My categorization of BS vs. NoBS here was done from my personal perspective and might not apply to every- one. You should determine which behavior is BS vs. NoBS through the eyes of the person you wish to be trusted by. Final note: bad is much stronger than good. One neg- ative BS behavior can wipe out the positive generated by many NoBS behaviors. Much like the Trust Habits process suggests, you have a much better chance of increasing the trust in you by eliminating one bad BS behavior than adding one good NoBS behavior. With that, here’s the list: 1. NoBS: Tell the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth. • BS: lie, tell only part of the truth, bundle truth with lies. 2. NoBS: Say exactly what you mean and what you feel. Tell people what they need to hear.
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26 December 11, 2023
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