Beyond the “BFF” What Friendship Looks Like for Kids Today BY MADELINE PISTORIUS F or a lot of parents, “best friend” meant one person: the kid who came to every birthday party, had sleepovers often, knew practically every secret and inside joke, and was basically part of the family. But does that still describe how kids think about friendship? Today, children’s social worlds may not be quite so simple. Friendships can stretch across classrooms, sports teams, neighborhoods, group chats, and online communities. Kids today may not be choosing between one best friend and many friends, but are learning to move between different kinds of friendships.
WHAT DOES “BEST FRIEND’’ EVEN MEAN ANYMORE?
personalities, understand different back- grounds, and build their social confidence. But there’s a difference between having peo- ple who know your name and having people who really know you. A child can have classmates, social media followers, and people who invite them places, and still not have someone they feel comfortable calling when they’re upset. That’s where the quality of a friendship mat- ters—having relationships where they feel supported, understood, and like they belong. ARE BEST FRIENDS STILL IMPORTANT? The term “BFF” might be evolving, but close friendships aren’t going anywhere. They give children a place to practice trust, empathy, compromise, communication, boundaries, and vulnerability. Researchers studying chil- dren’s friendships consider things like caring, support, companionship, and being able to work through disagreements as important parts of a quality friendship. But that closeness can also make conflict feel bigger. If one friendship becomes a child’s entire social connection, “You’re not
my best friend anymore” can feel devas- tating. A disagreement can feel like losing everyone. Learning how to handle those moments is part of growing up, too. Friendships change, interests shift, and sometimes friendships end. Having multiple, meaningful friendships can give children other places to turn as they navigate those changes, rather than putting all of their social life on one person. THE IMPACT OF DIGITAL FRIENDSHIPS Today, friendship doesn’t always require being in the same physical place. Children can play video games with people across the world, connect through shared passions, or find communities through social media and fandoms. Pew Research Center’s 2024 research found that among teen video-game players, 89 percent play with other people, and 47 percent say they’ve made a friend online because of a video game. An online friendship can still feel very real to your child even when it exists primarily online. Digital spaces may help them find
Friendship is about much more than having someone to sit with at lunch. The Child Mind Institute describes friendships as an import- ant part of children’s development, helping them build skills such as empathy, communi- cation, problem-solving, self-expression, and conflict management while gaining a sense of belonging. A child might have the school friend they see every day, the activity friend who shares their hobbies, the neighborhood friend they play with after school, the digital friend they game with, and the confidant they tell everything to. However, having more friends doesn’t necessarily mean having better friendships. Some children naturally prefer smaller social circles, and that doesn’t automatically mean they’re lonely or struggling socially. The Child Mind Institute notes that even one or two good friendships can be enough. At the same time, having several friend- ship circles can give children opportunities to explore different interests, navigate different
22 NOVEMBER 2026 | BRPARENTS.COM
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