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NOVEMBER 2021
The Tantrum Heard Around the World
MY MOST MEMORABLE THANKSGIVING
My sister will be so mad when she reads this.
There is a legendary Thanksgiving in my family, and it’s all thanks to her. It’s a story that I regularly like to tell simply because my sister is annoyed by it. (What else are brothers for?) Her annoyance aside, it’s also a great family story, and I believe it highlights just how meaningful holidays can be — even when they go completely wrong.
So, here’s our great Thanksgiving story.
Readers may remember that my grandparents and other relatives lived in Ohio while I was growing up, so sometimes they would travel down South to Tennessee to celebrate Thanksgiving. During this particular Thanksgiving, I was just 5 or 6 years old, and I believe my sister was 2 or 3. There’s home movie footage of this Thanksgiving meal (pre-VCR days), during which we can watch everything unfold. And when I say film, not to date myself but, I truly mean we have family movies on reels! There’s no sound in the film, and I really have no clue what was being said. But the best part of the whole film is that my sister can be seen pitching the biggest fit you have ever seen a toddler throw right in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner. I’m talking an all-out battle with herself on the floor, rolling around, screaming, “crying” — you name it, she was doing it. No one knew why. To this day, no one understands what the meltdown was about, but it’s what happens as the tantrum is raging that I love. My grandparents, parents, aunt and uncle, cousins, and I just laughed and ate our dinner. I can imagine my parents were a little mortified, but what could they do? My sister was throwing the temper tantrum to end all tantrums, and as an uncle, I do know sometimes the best action is to take no action. There’s no reasoning with a toddler, after all. My grandparents could have felt annoyed, and maybe my aunt and uncle were silently thanking God that their children weren’t reacting that way. But no one saw this Thanksgiving as ruined once it was all done. No one let this epic tantrum ruin their day. We were all laughing and enjoying our Thanksgiving, and it has since become our family’s infamous Thanksgiving celebration. The year of the tantrum has officially gone down as one of the greatest celebrations in our family’s history books, and while my sister doesn’t enjoy that we still find the video hilarious, she gave us a story we will never forget.
I hope you’ll remember this lesson as we approach Thanksgiving. There will most certainly be things that go wrong. Maybe it’s food that gets burned, or maybe your uncle brings up politics more than once, or drinks too much before dinner. Perhaps a 2-year-old throws an all-out cage match on the dining room floor just as you’re about to eat. Regardless of what it is, I hope you’ll take a moment to enjoy this day with your family. Focus on what you enjoy most about that moment with your family rather than dredging up resentment, politics, or religion. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to appreciate living in the moment and making good memories with my family. For us, Thanksgiving is about Mom’s turkey and strawberry pie, hanging out with my sister and her family, and playing games with my niece and nephew. No matter what goes wrong, we all enjoy our day because we’re together. And that’s all that matters.
I’m also happy to report my sister no longer throws Turkey Day tantrums — although, she may when she reads this.
Happy Thanksgiving!
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GUERILLA WI-FI
INEXPENSIVE COMMUNITY INTERNET MAY BE THE FUTURE
If you live in a middle-class or wealthy neighborhood, you probably have multiple options for internet providers. However, in rural towns and underfunded areas, Americans can be limited to only one or two internet provider options. With such a limited selection, these providers can often charge any kind of price they want.
rate internet plans for $50 a month in large urban markets across the country, including New York City. And the principle is the same: to provide more affordable internet options to the nearly 46% of impoverished U.S. households without a home connection. Will the Trend Continue? And Does It ReallyWork? For now, it’s safe to say that community Wi-Fi is here to stay. The Internet Master Plan released by New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio offers free use of rooftops on public buildings and street light poles to providers, large and small, to build their network infrastructures. This is a huge boon to grassroots groups like NYC Mesh, which depend on rooftop access for installations. Like other fixed-wireless Wi-Fi connections, many households have been pleased with NYC Mesh. Some even raise their monthly donation after signing on just to support the cause. Although some community Wi-Fi solutions are crushed under regulation and corporate interests, it seems like DIY internet technology continues to adapt and evolve.
But what if smaller volunteer groups could provide high-speed internet for affordable prices? That’s exactly what volunteer network NYC Mesh is doing!
How It Works A fiber connection is the gold standard for internet providers; however, NYC Mesh finds that using “fixed wireless” options, like rooftop routers, can deliver a signal strong enough for residential use. It’s also much faster and cheaper to deploy than a fiber connection. For residents who are still nervous, NYC Mesh not only has a subsidized option for installations but also a low suggested monthly donation of $20–$60.
NYC Mesh is one of many fixed-wireless groups in New York City — another small for-profit, Starry, which is a Boston-based start-up, is rolling out flat-
In the upcoming years, maybe all our communities will adopt a similar solution, too!
How an Estate Plan Can Help You Control Dementia
3 THINGS TO CONSIDER
Alzheimer’s disease is a devastating diagnosis that degrades a person’s memory, cognitive function, and physical abilities, at times transforming our loved ones into unrecognizable people. By properly preparing your estate plan now, you can create a road map for a potential diagnosis. We hope this is a plan you never have to use, but being prepared is half the battle with this disease. So in honor of Alzheimer’s Awareness Month, here are a few points to keep in mind. Creating Your Living Will A living will is a binding legal document that outlines your wishes for medical care should you become incapacitated and unable to make decisions. It sets forth your desires for what you would want to happen in certain situations, like slipping into a coma. For Alzheimer’s patients, this document can be a valuable tool. A living will can provide families with peace of mind that their loved one’s wishes are carried out with respect to critical decisions which may arise, like whether or not you wish to continue to receive artificial nourishment in the event you are deemed by your treating physician to be in a permanent vegetative state. Deciding on Durable Powers of Attorney Similar to a living will, durable powers of attorney allow your wishes to be met when you cannot physically or mentally make these decisions for yourself. Durable powers of attorney are legally binding documents you may execute which designate individuals you trust to make medical and financial decisions on
your behalf during periods of incapacitation. These appointments can come with a tremendous responsibility, but executing durable powers of attorney while you are in good health will ensure you have someone in place to handle your affairs in the event you are ever unable to do so by virtue of physical or mental infirmity. Knowing When It’s Time A dementia diagnosis can happen to anyone at any time, so it’s important to regularly update your estate plan as your life changes. Meet with your attorney once every year to outline potential life changes, like the birth of a grandchild or a new job. This will ensure that a dementia diagnosis can be met with the most up-to-date plans. If you have recently been diagnosed with dementia, it isn’t necessarily too late to create your estate plan. An experienced attorney will be able to ascertain whether or not you still have the legal capacity to create or update estate planning documents. Meet with an attorney right away to discuss your options, and ask a trusted relative or friend to join you for support. Our team at Douglass & Runger knows that dementia can be a difficult disease to battle, but we know doing so without an updated and legal estate plan can be extra challenging. You can learn more about our estate planning options and our other legal services online at DouglassRunger.com.
Alzheimer’s resources can be found at Alz.org.
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Why Britney Spears’ Conservatorship Outrages Our Team
Roasted Turkey
WE SUPPORT #FREEBRITNEY
#FREE BRITNEY If you would like to learn more about how conservatorships should work and our other legal services, please visit our website at DouglassRunger.com. As a law firm that handles conservatorship cases, we are troubled by Britney’s case. What’s come to light is proof of the fact that her father misused and abused his authority as conservator instead of making decisions that were in the best interest of Britney. Britney’s case is one of the only cases we can recall where a person earned millions of dollars, had a career, and was still trapped under a conservatorship and controlled by their father, who was all the while profiting financially off of the conservatorship. We are so glad Britney is finally free from her father’s control. In 2019, the #FreeBritney movement picked up momentum on various social media platforms as fans began raising concerns. However, more people became aware of the unsavory, sordid details of the conservatorship in 2021 after The New York Times released its damning documentary, “Framing Britney Spears.” After a long court battle, Jamie Spears stepped down from his role in his daughter’s conservatorship in September 2021. An accountant, chosen by Britney, currently serves as a temporary guardian over her finances. Britney Spears has made headlines again, but this time the world-renowned pop star isn’t blowing us away with chart-topping hits. Instead, we’re all learning about the gravity of the nightmare she has been living in for years. In February 2008, a California court granted Britney’s father’s request for a temporary conservatorship over his daughter. This legal mandate gave her father, Jamie Spears, complete decision-making power over Britney the person, while he and attorney Andrew Wallet have co-decision-making authority and control of her monetary decisions. Britney remained under the temporary conservatorship, and it was extended indefinitely in October 2008. For the next 13 years, Britney would remain under this conservatorship, and, as we would learn in court hearings in 2021, her entire life appears to have been manipulated by her father. Britney later testified that while under the conservatorship, she was forced to perform, was checked into a mental hospital, and did not have access to her assets. All of this was done against her will, Britney argued. She also stated that the overseers of her conservatorship refused to let her remove a birth control device in opposition to her wishes.
Inspired by TheKitchn.com.
Impress your Thanksgiving guests with this perfectly roasted — and easy — turkey!
INGREDIENTS
• 1 whole turkey, thawed • 2 cups chicken or vegetable broth • Salt and pepper to taste
DIRECTIONS
1. Preheat the oven to 450 F. 2. Remove packaging and giblets from inside of the turkey. 3. Place the turkey in a broiling pan breast-side up and rub it with salt and pepper. Pour the broth around the turkey. 4. Place the pan in the oven and turn the temperature down to 350 F. Turkey should cook for 12–15 minutes per pound, typically 3–4 hours. 5. Remove the turkey from the oven every 45 minutes and baste it with the broth. 6. Once finished, let the turkey rest for 15–20 minutes before carving and serving.
INSPIRATION “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” –Theodore Roosevelt
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1 My Family’s Most Infamous Thanksgiving 2 Is Community Wi-Fi the Future? How These 3 Estate Planning Must Do’s Help Dementia Patients 3 The Manipulation That Trapped Britney Spears Roasted Turkey 4 Lowering Holiday Stress Inside This Issue
Have a Low-Stress Holiday 3 TIPS FOR A MERRIER TIME
The holidays are right around the corner, and while many people can’t wait to eat turkey and swap presents, others only see stress on the horizon. Especially for those hosting parties, between decorations, big dinners, excited kids, and visiting family, it can all feel overwhelming. If celebrations are happening at your house this year, here are three tips to lessen the strain and keep up the holiday cheer. Recharge First Ensure you’re rested and recharged before the holidays by taking time to relax, getting enough sleep, and engaging in activities that make you feel good. When you’re rushing to get everything done, it can be tempting to skip self-care routines, but that will cost you in the long run. Your daily exercise and other health activities keep you balanced and ready to face challenges head-on. Get Started Early Holidays always arrive faster than we expect, so begin preparing early. If shopping for presents is a pain point, don’t wait until the last minute. Decorate earlier than you need to — or better yet, get the kids to do it for you. There’s only so much cooking you can do ahead of time, but ensuring you have all
of the equipment and nonperishable ingredients you need a few weeks in advance will reduce both your workload and anxiety.
Don’t Expect Perfection The sooner you let go of the idea of a “perfect” holiday, the sooner you’ll be able to have a happy one. Face it: Something will go wrong. Whether it’s an overcooked dish, a child throwing a temper tantrum, or your uncle talking politics at the dinner table, nothing will ever go just how you planned. So, embrace the imperfections. Whether you’re celebrating this year with a group of two or 20, holidays can be a stressful time — but they don’t have to be. With these tips, your festivities may not be picture-perfect, but they will be a lot of fun.
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