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405-843-6100 | 918-615-2700 | ParmanLaw.com June 2024
Inspiration With a Helping of Wisdom: Tread Lightly in the ‘Gray Area’ of Life
Clients and Friends,
four children have taken control of a client’s financial affairs and literally her life. The two children took control of our client’s voting registration card and her driver’s license and made it impossible for her to access any financial accounts. We carefully questioned her and observed her over time. She was forgetful from time to time, but according to legal standards, we determined she still had testamentary capacity. She was also clear she was sick and tired of the two controlling children’s overbearing and vengeful behavior. When their mom started
Here in Oklahoma, one day is stormy with tornadoes, and the next is beautiful. I always say, “Every day is a great day. Some are a little better than others, but they are all great days.” This month, enjoy a story of inspiration and other estate and financial matters. At the Downtown Rotary meeting a couple of weeks ago, we heard a presentation by a young lady from Oklahoma. Jess Wedel shared
her journey to the top of the world, Mt. Everest, which tops out at 29,032 feet. For perspective, many of you remember my journey to the top of Mt. Kilimanjaro. Kili is a dormant volcano peaking at 19,341. That means Everest is nearly 2 miles higher than Kili. And it is fraught with dangers far beyond other mountain expeditions. In 2023, 17 climbers died going up or down the mountain. One was a very experienced Sherpa who had climbed Everest 10 times! Jess’s message reminded me of hearing Dr. Beck Weathers from Dallas share his Everest survival story at the Men’s Dinner Club years ago. Beck’s story is covered in Jon Krakauer’s book, “In Thin Air.” Everest is not for sissies.
reasserting her rights, the two controlling children filed a guardianship lawsuit and sought a protective order prohibiting the other two children from having anything to do with their mom. The lawsuit subjected this wonderful 90-year- old lady to over an hour on the stand testifying in front of all four children. The judge informed the opposing counsel that he heard nothing to support their case. Then, after careful review, the judge dismissed the case. However, our client had to spend a considerable amount of time, energy, and money defending herself and asserting her rights. Unfortunately, we expect the children who did this will appeal the ruling based on past behavior. This is a sad and heartbreaking situation.
Jess Wedel and Larry Parman share their climbing stories — and Jess’ story definitely won!
In 2016, only five years from receiving her degree from Baylor, Jess was diagnosed with a rare form of non-genetic ovarian cancer. Following a successful regimen of chemo and following her love of the outdoors and hiking, Jess set her sights on a loftier goal. Along with her mother, she decided to conquer Mt. Everest. Her first attempt failed. She was then approached by a non-profit that wanted to sponsor an Everest expedition and would raise money for those suffering from ovarian cancer. Inspired by the larger purpose of this climb, Jess quickly accepted the challenge and became the first ovarian cancer survivor to successfully summit the highest peak in the world. The point: When we couple our abilities, desires, ambitions, and efforts with a larger purpose, anything is possible. It gives us the strength to recognize and overcome the dangers, the challenges, and reasons why it cannot be done to achieve extraordinary goals. Kudos to Jess Wedel.
The point is this: As we live to an older age, impaired capacity is becoming a more sensitive issue for many of our clients. It is the “gray area” of our lives. There are no black-and-white answers. It is a process that requires sensitive management and care for the person involved. We are always trying to be “in front” of these issues for you. To that end, we have developed a Dementia Directive. Because no statutes grant legal authority for the document, it is non-binding. However, it does allow us to express our intent and our wishes about what we would like to occur during these delicate times in our lives.
If you would like to discuss long-term care and the issues we face later in life, give us a call at 405-843-6100.
Now, to a growing legal concern.
Families continue to struggle with the appropriate response when a loved one suffers from diminished cognition and capacity to handle their own affairs. We are involved in a case where two of
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HERO HUSKY SAVES THE NEIGHBORHOOD
On Dec. 15, 2023, pet owner Chanell Bell of Philadelphia was taken aback when she noticed that Kobe, her 4-year-old miniature Alaskan husky, had dug a hole in her home’s front yard. This was a stark departure from Kobe’s usual behavior, which Bell initially dismissed as boredom and promptly refilled the hole. However, when Kobe began to dig again in the same spot, Bell realized something was amiss. “We’ve been here at our home for a while now, and he never digs holes,” Bell told USA Today. “So, I knew something was up.” She investigated further, reviewing footage from the family home’s security camera overlooking Kobe’s newfound digspot. Then, she witnessed Kobe sniff the air around the area before digging the hole in the same spot again.
Thinking something Kobe smelled must have alarmed him, Bell phoned Philadelphia Gas Works, which sent a crew out to investigate. The engineers discovered that the gas lines beneath the Bell household were old, dilapidated, and beginning to leak. After fixing the issue, the company told Bell that if Kobe had not discovered the leak, the line would have posed significant health and safety concerns for the whole neighborhood. “They told me something as simple as a light switch turning on could’ve caused an explosion,” Bell told USA Today. After Bell shared Kobe’s story on social media, it caught the attention of PETA, the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, who awarded the young husky the Heroic Dog Award. Inspired by Kobe’s efforts, Bell wrote a children’s book dedicated to him called “The Dog That Saved the Block Before Christmas.”
Maximize Your Legacy With a Living Trust A Pathway to Financial Security and Peace
Estate planning empowers individuals to maintain control over their legacy and provide for their families, offering peace of mind and a sense of security for the future. It ensures you control how you want your assets handled during your lifetime and after you pass. A revocable living trust is one of the most influential aspects of an estate plan. If you do not already have an estate plan, it’s time to create one, as it is never too early to start! A trust is like a bucket — you can put property into it and control everything while you are still alive. A trust involves three important
players: the grantor, the trustee, and the beneficiary. The grantor creates the trust, the trustee controls everything inside the trust, and the beneficiaries will receive allocations from the trust according to the wishes of the grantor (you). As the grantor and living trustee, you have control over everything you put into the trust, such as your home, cars, household items, life insurance policies, etc. After you pass away, the trust still exists, but the person you named as the successor trustee will control and distribute its contents to the beneficiaries you specify. Probate is a timely and costly public process no one wants; however, by establishing a trust, you can avoid it entirely and keep your affairs private. An Estate Planning Attorney can ensure you fund the trust correctly, retitling property and other assets so the trust (and you, as the trustor and trustee) owns them. This is a crucial part of creating a trust: You must fund it, which is a separate process. Because a trust allows you to bypass probate, your heirs will enjoy an efficient, private, and straightforward path to honoring your wishes instead of slogging through a lengthy and potentially contentious probate process while grieving. It’s one of the most loving and generous gifts you can give them - and the best way to secure your wealth for the next generation.
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A WOMAN’S RIGHT TO EAT ALONE DINING SOLO Did you know that a little over a century ago, women could not eat alone in restaurants? If they did, people would assume the woman was, let’s say, “looking for work,” and she would be disgraced, and so would the restaurant. So, women who wanted to dine alone or with other women would be turned away. Women needed to be accompanied by a man to eat out in public. How did this finally change? After being denied a ticket to a dinner event because of her gender, a journalist named Jane Cunningham Croly took action. Croly was an English- born American journalist who wrote and advocated for equal rights and economic independence for women. Croly also founded and was the first president of the Women’s Press Club of New York. One of Croly’s biggest advocacy groups was a women’s dinner club named Sororis. The women of Sororis held their first official meeting in April 1868 at a New York restaurant called Delmonico’s to protest the ban on women’s solo dining. They demanded service, and Delmonico’s agreed, making it the first establishment in U.S. history to allow women to dine without a male chaperone. When World War I began, more women entered the workforce, earning them increased independence. New restaurants and lunch counters started to open that would serve working women, and gradually, dining without a man became commonplace. Progress was slow, though; even as recently as 1970, some restaurants still barred solo women from entering. Thankfully, in today’s society, this would never fly!
MARGIE’S KITCHEN: AVOCADO TOAST
by Darlene Parman
Margie Trammell is my late, amazing mother, and here we carry on her torch of fine homemade cookin’ and esprit de corps by sharing her best recipes with our clients. I am puttin’ a lil’ twist in this installment by sharing one of my daughter’s recipes. Aly and her family have always lived on the West Coast and are currently in Portland, Oregon. When they lived in San Diego, they created this recipe because they had avocados growing on trees in their yard! This is a delicious treat we enjoy many mornings when we visit them. I hope this brightens some of your mornings with your family!
Ingredients
• 1 medium to large avocado • Squeeze of lemon juice • 1 tsp Trader Joe’s “Everything but Bagel” spice • 2 slices of whole grain or sourdough bread
• Beefsteak tomato, thinly sliced • Chunky sea salt • Goat cheese, optional • Smoked salmon, optional • Red pepper flakes or dashes of Tabasco, optional
Directions 1. Mash avocado with lemon juice and “Everything but Bagel” spice.
2. Spread the avocado mixture on the two slices of toasted bread.
3. Top with a thinly sliced Beefsteak tomato.
4. Top with chunky sea salt and/or optional toppings. Margie’s Texas kick: Add red pepper flakes or a few dashes of Tabasco to the avocado mix. Gives it a bite!
If you have a recipe you’d like us to share in Margie’s Kitchen, please mail it to us or email Info@parmanlaw.com. We’ll feature it in our newsletter or on our website!
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INSIDE THIS ISSUE
1
The Wisdom of Treading Lightly in the ‘Gray Area’ of Life
How a Pet Husky Prevented Disaster
2
Using a Trust for Wealth Preservation
Margie’s Kitchen: Avocado Toast
3
The History Behind Women Eating Alone in Restaurants
Steiner’s Emotional Road to Olympic Glory
4
Olympian Steiner Overcame Adversity to Win Gold FROM TRAGEDY TO TRIUMPH
In June 2007, just one year before the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics, an SUV traveling on the wrong side of the road hit 22-year- old Susann Steiner — wife of German Olympic weightlifter Matthias Steiner — while she was driving. She was rushed to the hospital, and it was there that Matthias promised her he would win a gold medal in her honor. Tragically, Susann died as a result of her injuries, but Matthias’ promise to his late love lived on. Wanting to make his wife proud, Matthias trained harder than ever before. He had been lifting weights since he was just a teenager, and though he had won medals and championships before, he had never claimed the ultimate prize: an Olympic medal. Matthias also had to compete in the super heavyweight category against the strongest weightlifters in the world. Among his competitors were the formidable Russian
Evgeny Chigishev, an Olympic veteran and champion, and the Latvian Viktors Scerbaiths, who won the silver medal at the 2004 Summer Olympics in Athens. “Weightlifting is a sport without mercy [and] it is very tough to make progress,” Matthias said in an interview with the Olympic Channel. “Every time you touch the bar, you realize that you are always alone in weightlifting, the weights are getting heavier and heavier, everything hurts.” But Matthias was not alone. His memory and dedication to Susann inspired him to attain strength he never imagined possible. As it turned out, he needed every ounce of his strength to claim victory. The competition was incredibly close. Matthias’ victory was not secure until the last lift; he needed to clean and jerk an astounding 569 pounds — more than he had ever lifted before — to fulfill his promise.
Photo: Dacoucou
Incredibly, he succeeded. He edged out Chigishev by 1 kilogram, winning the gold medal with a score of 461 against Chigishev’s 460. After he had completed his lift, he fell to his knees in tears. At the podium, he held his gold medal and a bouquet of roses in his right hand and clutched a picture of Susann in his left. Matthias honored Susann’s memory with his gold medal victory, exactly as he promised.
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