King's Business - 1967-03

expression o f one kind or degree to another can cause a fellow or a girl to feel morally obligated to marry the other when there is evidence this could not be a compatible marriage, and the most meaningful epoch of a man or a woman’s life is lost to misery. The mis-use of the sex drive can lead to many misfortunes as well as to pregnancy outside of marriage. Young people need to know there is no such thing as 100 percent birth control. When a young person considers the matter of petting, he should ponder deeply and honestly such questions as these: 1. Is it strictly physical? (God intended it to be a spiritual expression.) 2. Is it exploiting another for a self-thrill? (Surely this is sex perversion in the light of God’s intentions for it.) 3. Is it like a habit-forming drug of which larger amounts are required to produce the same effects each succeeding time? (Herein lies the danger of “ going steady” long before marriage is possible.) 4. Is it satisfying fulfillment of life at its best or does it leave me dissatisfied and frustrat­ ed? (Be honest in answering this one!) 5. Is it the most wholesome preparation I can make for the kind of a marriage I want? Every young person will experience temptations through sex. A temptation is an incitement of the natural desires to go beyond God’s set bounds. There is no sin in temptation—only in letting temp­ tation master you. God’s set bounds for the com­ plete use of the natural sex desire are in marriage, the true expression of spiritual love, the unselfish giving of self to the other partner in marriage and one man for one woman and one woman for one man in this relationship so long as they both shall live. Too many handsome grooms waiting at the foot of the church aisle have a secret sign written over the inside of their hearts: “ Second-hand Hus­ bands.” Too many men go beyond God’s set bounds and become the cause of a lovely brides’ coming down her wedding aisle some day with a sign writ­ ten over her heart: “ Slightly used.” I don’t know of any Christian gentleman revering this gift of God’s creation who wants to be a “ second-hand” husband or the cause of any bride’s being "slightly used.” Why not place this whole matter in the hands of God who made us and understands us ?

in both body and soul. How can a man be complete and fully content without woman ? How can a wom­ an be complete or fulfill life without man? By the sex drive, man and woman realize the highest in life through the most adequate expression of spir­ itual love this side o f heaven and o f having chil­ dren as co-creators with God. The most important thing is not the sex drive itself. It is the man’s attitude toward sex. Man has one of two universal attitudes that is revered as “ sacred.” In many respects, as goes man’s attitude toward the sex drive, so goes his life. I don’t know who we think we are to read God’s mind, but I believe God has four divine intentions in giving us the sex drive: 1. To attract us toward the opposite sex that out of that wide and general attraction we might find with God’s help just the right life partner. 2. That within marriage—the spiritual relation­ ship of love which God ordains — man and woman might have a tangible means of ex­ pressing their deepest spiritual love for each other. 3. That the marriage relationship might be con­ summated through each partner’s giving of his or her whole being unselfishly to the other, symbolized by the giving of the whole body to each other. 4. That in the marriage relationship o f love a husband wife might have a child . . . flesh of their flesh and soul of their soul. If a man sees these divine intentions of God for the sex drive, how can he joke about sex any more than he can joke about the sacraments of his church ? The sex drive, gift of God—is sacred—not “ sexy.” It is blasphemy to talk “ dirty” or even frivolously about sex. As with every gift God gives us there with sex goes a moral responsibility. We are to reserve and preserve the full use of the sex drive for the pur­ pose of expressing pure spiritual love in the mar­ riage relationship which God ordains. What is intended to be a priceless gift, sacred indeed, can become a destructive kind of a curse if we abuse it. Heavy petting in courtship can cause a fellow or girl to lose self-respect or respect for the other, and a perfectly good romance can be ruined. A mis-use and a mis-timing of the sex drive can cause one many pains of guilt and distort the beauty and meaning of the sex drive. Extensive


MARCH, 1967

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