deleted all the sexist and homophobic music on your Spotify accounts and filled your playlists with Liberace.” And I said there will be no more pizza for dinner (with soy mozzarella for the vegan) or burgers on the grill for lunch (with Beyond Meat patties for the vegan) or English muffins for breakfast (with tahini butter for the vegan). Because these are cultural appropriations that could be hurtful and offensive to Italians, people from Hamburg, Germany, and the English. We’re Irish... All you kids are getting is potatoes. And the first kid who pipes up with “potatoes were culturally appropriated from the indigenous peoples of the Americas” is going to get a plate of spuds dumped right in his or her (or they’s) safe space.
I said to the girls, “I think it’s great that people your age have a political voice. I can remember back before 1971 when you couldn’t vote until you were 21. Then the 26th Amendment was passed, giving 18-year olds the right to vote. And you know what happened in 1972? Nixon got elected! ” I also said, “SPF 50 and guilt over white skin privilege? Just giving you a trigger warning.” One of the girls is considering becoming a vegan. I confess I didn’t really listen to her explanation of what this has to do with being woke. But I did remind her that we live on a farm. “Here,” I said, “take these eggs and put them back in the chickens.” Something else that has to do with being woke is the issue of LGBT rights (to which any number of other letters can be added until the kids, when they’re talking about the subject, sound like a drunk at a DUI stop trying to recite the alphabet backwards). From what I gather LGBT (etc.) is an issue because it isn’t supposed to be an issue whether people identify as LGBT (etc.) except that some people who do identify as LGBT (etc.) take issue with this, making it an issue. Or something like that... If I were still reasoning with the kids, I’d tell them that respect for other people combined with human decency and common courtesy should change the issue from LGBT to MYOB – Mind Your Own Business. But I’m not reasoning with them anymore. Instead, what I said was, “I honor your truth and respect your lived experience.” (Whatever that’s supposed to mean.) “This is why I’ve
“I honor your truth and respect your lived experience.” (Whatever that’s supposed to mean.)
American Consequences
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