August 2019
Back to School Feelings
TRANSITIONING INTO A NEW SEASON OF LIFE
Do you remember what it felt like to go back to school after the summer? You went from wild, unruly days at the pool and afternoons biking around the neighborhood to suddenly being back in a classroom, subjected to structured hours of textbooks and homework. Those first few mornings waking up early again? Those weren’t my favorite either. It can be a tough transition for students, especially for the first week or two. Parents struggle to get their kids back into a regular routine and acclimated to going to bed and waking up earlier. Going to a new school, whether it’s advancing to middle school or because of a move, can bring up a whole other set of emotions. Do you remember how lonely it felt during that first lunch period at a new school?
In talking to our clients, I’ve noticed many of them experience a similar transition. In a lot of cases, it’s almost as if they’re going from a strict boarding school to summer vacation: They go from being in a controlling relationship to being free. Then, they have to decide what their summer vacation — their life — will look like in the next season. In the case of one of our clients, her husband was taking her paycheck and giving her an allowance. She’s been ready to be free for some time, but that final step is often the hardest. When she does move forward, she’ll have freedom and a different kind of structure. She’ll get to decide what her summer looks like. For many of the people we work with, it’s almost as if they’ve been living a nightmare. A lot of times, it just takes one demeaning comment or one controlling act to wake them up from it. They take a step back and start questioning their spouse’s behavior and the marriage. Another client I met with recently dealt with continuous psychological and verbal abuse from her spouse. One day, he yelled at her in front of her daughter. That did it. She suddenly woke up and realized she did not want her daughter to see that as an example of what love or marriage is. She saw the situation from a new lens and realized, “This is not me. I wouldn’t let this behavior happen. This is not acceptable.” These clients, and countless others, are strong people, tough as nails. If you met them, you would never imagine someone could control them. But it’s harder than you think when someone has waged psychological and emotional warfare on you. Fortunately, we get to help people as they’re beginning again. It’s not easy; it’s like starting at a new school or going to summer camp for the first time. In this new season of life, you get to meet new people, take new classes, and maybe move to a new neighborhood. It’s exciting, but it takes time to adjust. If you’re in this season of change, give yourself time. Allow yourself to heal and open up again, maybe with the help of a mental health professional who can help you see that you are stronger than you know. We’re here for you, too, to help make the process easier. Like summer camp, it might be scary at first, but there are new friends who are ready for you. – Ashley & Chris Bruce
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Liana Brings Compassion and Strength to Bruce Law While she may be the newest attorney to join our team, Liana Carrozza is no newbie to family law. She comes to us with a wealth of knowledge, compassion, and experience in family law, including a Master of Laws in family law (LL.M.) that she pursued after obtaining her law degree and passing the bar. She is also well-versed in tax law and litigation. All of this is a bonus to her compassionate and skillful approach to every case. Fortunately, she feels as enthusiastic about us as we do about her! “It’s been wonderful,” Liana says of being at Bruce Law. “The quality of work is really excellent. Our attorneys and paralegals are wonderful; they care about clients and want to do the best possible work they can do for them. Everything is done at the highest level of quality.” Liana adds that it was apparent right away that the level of care they show to clients extends to one another on the team, as well. “Everyone has a good quality of work and life. The firm is really good about helping everyone balance their family and outside interests by sharing schedules and helping each other out,” Liana says. “It makes us more productive and makes us love our jobs even more, too.” Get to Know Our Newest Attorney
YOU’RE GETTING VERY SLEEPY ... ESTABLISHING A BEDTIME ROUTINE FOR THE SCHOOL YEAR Between vacations, bonfires, and sporting tournaments, your children’s sleep schedule probably went on break when they did this summer. With school fast approaching, it’s vital to get your kids back on a proper sleep schedule. In fact, according to the National Sleep Foundation, getting enough sleep can significantly improve a child’s growth and cognitive function. But getting a restful night’s sleep is easier said than done when kids have had almost complete freedom for three months. Try these tips to get your kids snoozing through August and prepared for school. START EARLY AND GO SLOWLY When practicing this tip, think of the old adage: “It takes 21 days to break a habit.” If your kids have been going to bed late this summer, set a time when they must go to bed, but don’t make it too far off the time they have been regularly hitting the hay. If they shuffle off to bed around 10 p.m., push their bedtime to 9:45 p.m., and then push it back to 9:30 p.m. one week later. Slowly work your way back to an appropriate time, and bedtime will be easier when school starts. MAKE IT EASY Though the days may be getting shorter, it’s still relatively light out at night, making it nearly impossible for your kids to doze off when they should. Sleep experts recommend creating a sleeping space that mimics a cave: dark, cool, and quiet. This means sunlight shouldn’t sneak into the room, and the home should be a quiet zone after bedtime. No one wants to sleep while everyone else is having fun, so it’s important that everyone in the home is quiet at bedtime. JUST RELAX This is a rule your family should follow year-round, not just when you want to reestablish a routine. At a certain time each night, begin the nightly wind-down. For example, at 8 p.m. shut off your screens, put on pajamas, and engage in a relaxing activity, like reading a book or doing some yoga. Signaling to your body and your family that it’s time for bed will help your kiddos, and you, fall asleep at an appropriate time.
After pursuing family law and further education in Chicago for five years, Liana and her husband were ready to be somewhere warm again. They returned to Florida, and the rest, as they say, is history. They’re happy to be back in the Sunshine State, and Liana is glad to be part of the Bruce Law team. On the weekends and after work, she and her husband enjoy the south Florida lifestyle with time on the beach and trips to the Keys with family and friends, including
their beloved pup, Dexter. “Warm weather is the best,” Liana says.
We’re so glad to have this skilled, knowledgeable attorney on our team! Welcome, Liana!
Is your friend or client in need of a guide as they prepare for divorce? our divorce strategy book can help! The book can be downloaded for FREE at ControlYourDifficultDivorce.com If your friend or client lives in the South Florida area, we will mail them a hard copy of the book upon request.
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3 Ways to Make a Season of Transition Easier
Get Back Into a Routine
3. MAKE EXERCISE PART OF YOUR DAY. Exercise can provide so many benefits, including improving mental clarity, handling stress better, and activating mood-boosting hormones. Finding a way to fit exercise into your day, especially when your life is in transition, is a necessity. Even if you can’t get to the gym for an intense class, do 10 squats as you’re waiting for kids to get ready or take a walk around the block between phone calls. Small movements add up. Remember, change may not be easy, but with time and positive habits, you will get to a more harmonious place. Use these and other positive tools to help you feel good about any transition.
As Ashley shared on the cover, changes in seasons, whether external or internal, can be challenging and also wonderful as you adjust to a new routine. Here are three ways to make the transition feel more harmonious and less disruptive. EASE INTO AN EARLIER BEDTIME. Going from the freedom of summer nights, when you stay up a little later, to the more structured evenings of the school year can be tricky. Instead of moving your bedtime from 10 p.m. to 8 p.m. in one night (or a similarly drastic transition), ease into it with half-hour increments. Start by winding down earlier, maybe with 30 minutes of reading before bed. Power off electronics and the TV one hour before bedtime, as well. 2. START YOUR MORNING WITH A GRATIFYING TRADITION. While the rare human may enjoy waking up early, you can help yourself and your kids look forward to it a bit more by creating a morning tradition that starts the day off on a positive note. It can be yoga poses, like a sun salutation, or five minutes of meditation while your cup of coffee is brewing. Yoga Wake Up is an app that you set to align with your wake-up time, and it provides gentle yoga poses, some you can do as you’re laying down. They even have routines geared toward kids.
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have a LAUGH
Roasted Corn Salsa
ingredients
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1/4 bunch cilantro leaves, sliced
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2 medium ears of corn, shucked
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Juice of 1 lime
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1 jalapeño or Fresno chile, seeded and thinly sliced
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Kosher salt, to taste
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1/2 red onion, diced
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1 large tomato, cored, seeded, and finely chopped
Directions
1. Heat a cast-iron skillet to high. Char corn, turning occasionally, for 10–14 minutes until kernels begin to blacken in spots. 2. Using a sharp knife, remove corn kernels from cobs and transfer to a large mixing bowl. 3. With a wooden spoon or potato masher, gently crush corn to release starch and juices. 4. Add jalapeño, onion, tomato, and cilantro. Mix to combine. 5. Top with lime juice and season with salt. 6. Serve alongside your favorite tortilla chips.
Inspired by Bon Appétit magazine
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Back to School Feelings page 1
Get Your Kids Back on a Sleep Schedule
Get to Know Our Team page 2
Get Back Into a Routine page 3
A Summer Send-Off for Your Garden page 4
A Summer Send-Off for Your Garden 3 Ways to Prepare Your Garden for the Changing Season
OUT WITH THE OLD If any of your plants didn’t fare so well, take some time to remove them and clear space for future plants. This removal should include any invasive plants or weeds that found their way into the soil. Remember to use gloves, wear long pants and socks, and use caution around thorns or plants that can cause irritation. For daffodils, tulips, crocuses, and any other bulbs that sprang up in the spring, you can now pull them up (if you haven’t already) and divide any bulblets you find into separate plants. This will help cut down on crowding even more come spring. TAKE COVER Cover crops are plants that improve soil health, reduce erosion, and keep your garden healthy, and now is a great time to plant them! Hardy legumes, field peas, certain types of clovers, and warm-season grasses can all work as cover crops, so talk to your landscaper or local nursery to pick out the best choices for your region. While you may not see the fruits of your labors until spring, you can still enjoy preparing your garden for a successful upcoming year and cherish the time you spend with your family outside.
Late summer is the perfect time to clean up your garden and prepare it for the coming winter. In the next couple of months, the temperature will start to drop, but by putting in work now, you can ensure your garden is healthy and ready to flourish next spring. You can even turn garden cleanup into a fun activity for the whole family. Here are three ways to get your garden ready for the next season, while sharing some valuable outdoor time with your loved ones. MORE MULCH, PLEASE While most gardeners know the benefits of summer mulching, winter mulching can help lessen water loss, keep weeds out, and regulate soil temperatures during the colder months. It offers an added layer of protection for your plants’ roots, which can be sensitive to continuous freezing and thawing, by keeping the soil temperature more consistent.
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