HIBISCUS COLUMN
Dave’s highly sophisticated workshop, so he takes orders by phone from clients who know almost nothing of what they want or need. Head length: 10 inches is a safe starting point; 12 and over provides greater pendulum potential for experts. Shaft length: as you definitely don’t want a handle punching you in the stomach on certain shots, take your grip into account. If in doubt, order long ‐ 36 inches +. To emphasise the blindingly obvious, shafts can be cut down, but not extended. At any croquet gathering, there will be rows of Trimmers, readily identifiable by dark gold‐flecked heads attached to shafts by thick brass rings. Owners are generally happy to hand them over for a few shots, even a game if time allows. Trial and error are great pointers, so borrow lots before you make the final call. When you do, pay extra to pick your mallet out in a crowd by having your initials engraved on the brass band. Also ask for an airline shaft. Breaking your mallet in two creates a deadly weapon with a solid head attached to a much more wieldy handle so no chance of hand luggage, but at least you can pack it in a suitcase when travelling to international tournaments. Never imagine this will never happen: more from Hibiscus soon.
Of course there are many other mallet options, almost all of them cheaper, some of them equally fit for purpose. Arguably wood is more sympathetic; certainly it’s more traditional. The number 2 spot in the 2024 rankings goes to Don Oakley, a Canadian timber merchant who chanced on a need for oak mallets as well as kitchen cabinets in the 1990s. Third and fourth are Kiwis, the aggressive Teminator nylon/fibre glass design and the elegant and highly prolific Wood Mallets. And so to hollow metal heads, represented in fifth place by the appealingly named PFC Hoop Maker from New South Wales. In theory, eliminating wind resistance makes it easier to swing straight in blustery conditions, the new norm in the climate change era. The Hoop Maker promises a lot more than that, its holes creating a percussion chamber that makes a ball hit at 80% travel the same distance as one hit at 100% by any other mallet. As hitting softly is demonstrably more accurate, it eagerly claims win, win. Not convinced? Dr Ian Plummer tells me I could easily make my own: oxfordcroquet.com.
by Minty Clinch I’ve heard of people sleeping with golf clubs, but not as yet with a croquet mallet, though it would be an easier bedfellow. One of the joys of the game is that you can learn it with no capital outlay beyond your subscription. As soon as you sign up, you put on your sneakers, take your pick from a range of club mallets and dive into free coaching. Shortly afterwards, you wake from a dream about a four ball break. Or maybe a nightmare. Hollow eyes in a gaunt face brushing its teeth in the mirror confirm the reality. Yes, it’s addiction. So it’s time to buy a mallet. The best ones, by global acclamation, are made from carbon fibre and kevlar by Dave Trimmer. His website announces ‘Due to high demand, orders placed now will be fulfilled in June 2025’. Eight months away. When I ordered mine in 2021, it was three. As a ‐1 handicapper, Dave occasionally takes time out to play at the top table, along with his much more extrovert brother, Pete (‐2). I assume this conjures a mate’s wait for the likes of England captain, Samir Patel, who endorses the brand with a model with a long curved handle to reduce wrist strain. Few make the pilgrimage to Penult, the Gillingham house that contains
TUNNEL OF TIME Duncan Hector Turf Care
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www.croquetengland.org.uk | 4
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