106 SPOTLIGHT ON BUSINESS MAGAZINE • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2021 Maybe your timeline of events over the holidays stayed consistent your entire life- same parties, same people, same schedule. This year, break free from that potentially toxic routine and come up with some new activities to get you in the holiday spirit. Your new traditions might be volunteering, going on a major hike, throwing a sober party of your own, baking and donating, spa days, or limiting your social time to only the ones you care HAVE RESPONSES READY Chances are, most adults in your family drink during the holidays, even that Aunt who normally never drinks. Sure, they’re your family but that doesn’t mean they’ll understand (or honestly care about) your decision to quit drinking. The same goes for friends. For some people who drink, seeing a sober person can feel threatening and sometimes those people can react harshly towards you. Be prepared for the possibility of judgement or even questions and statements like “why don’t you just have one? It’s Christ - mas!” or “you’re not an alcoholic, you’re fine to drink once a year”. If you do not want to drink this holiday season you don’t have to no matter who says what. Be prepared by having some responses ready for these questions and state - ments. You don’t owe an explanation to anyone so tackle this how you see fit. I came up with 40 responses you’re free to use the next time you’re out- https://sobercity.ca/40-quick-responses-to- want-a-drink/ START NEW TRADITIONS Be prepared for big feelings. Anxiety, feeling like you’re missing out, envy, sadness are all very normal emotions for the newly sober this time of year. Even if your goal is to only be sober through the holidays it can be hard on the head. Reach out for extra support leading up to, during, and after the holidays. Support can be anything from 12-step meetings, peer support, group support, one-on-one therapy, or just calling on close friends to vent. people who might pressure you to drink. They can check in with you to see how you’re holding up. They could even partake in some non-alco - holic drinks with you in solidarity.
107 NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2021 • SPOTLIGHT ON BUSINESS MAGAZINE The holidays can be hard for a lot of people who choose sobriety. If you’re sober this festive season, I want to remind you that you have the power to stay sober. Find support, practice self- care, avoid triggers, and be gentle with yourself. If you’ve never tackled December sober, then of course it is going to feel scary and unknown to you. Trust me when I say, with each new experi - ence you get through sober, it gets easier and easier. Learning any new way of thinking/being is hard at first but you will surprise yourself with your resilience. Yes, it is hard, but you truly can do it. of drunkenness where you can no longer relate to anyone. Maybe you were always the one to entertain everyone’s children during a gathering or always the one who did all the cooking. If you feel that would be too much this year now that you’re sober, say no to that role this year. Think ahead to how you may feel in certain situations this holiday season and if you feel you’ll be too anxious or sad or triggered, either do not go or Staying sober is hard in today’s society at any time of the year. Stress, anxiety, overwhelm can all be triggers that could make you want to numb with alcohol. Drinking used to be the fastest, easiest way to cope with negative feelings (in the short-term) so now that you’ve eliminated booze from your life you need to find new ways to deal. Avoiding the triggers before they turn into negative emotions/thoughts is the best course of action, but it takes practice and self-awareness. If you choose to give gifts don’t leave buying them to the last minute to save some stress. Do you have vacation time banked? Use it! Do you always feel drained and like garbage when you leave your grandparents house? Either don’t go this year or only go for a short period of time. Do you have limited time to see your children? Jam pack the time you do have with as much fun and quality time as you can to make the most out of it. Remember that avoiding triggers doesn’t mean avoiding feelings. Strong feelings can be crippling but you need to feel in order to heal. Find professional support if you need and if you can afford it. limit your exposure. AVOID TRIGGERS
PREPARE FOR BOOZE GIFTS If people don’t know you’re sober this year they might buy you alcohol or alcohol-related gifts. It’s unfortunately common in our society for people to assume that just because you’re of legal age then alcohol is the perfect gift. You of course do not need to announce that you’re sober to ensure you don’t receive booze gifts. Even if you did announce it, you still might receive them anyways. You could refuse the gift or regift it immediately after receiving it but that might be difficult not to appear rude or ungrate - ful. Instead, designate a friend to be the receiver of any booze gifts you may acquire. Ensure that friend is on standby to pick up or accept alcohol you receive. Tell this person as soon as you receive the gift too- don’t give your mind a chance to consider keeping it a secret. KNOW YOUR LIMITS The suggestion of “knowing your limits” was laughable tome when I first quit drinking because I never actually had limits. So how do you “know” something you never had? Creating your limits can take time to develop and can involve a lot of trial and error. Maybe you used to be one of the last people to leave a party. This year, make a plan to leave before the party gets to that level
the most about. Try to only choose activities that make you smile for real, not struggle to fake smile. Only do things that make your heart full, not drain your batteries and leave you feeling negative. If you think it would be received well, consider bringing some non-alcoholic drinks for everyone at your family get-togethers. You might be surprised at how many people want to stay level-headed or even sober this year.
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