raise them to release them—and we need to equip and prepare them for that releasing. My teen does fend for herself. She is indepen - dent. She rarely needs me anymore. She runs a solid 90% of her own life and does it so well, I joke she should run for president someday. (Hello, First Mother?) But when she asked if I’d make her those pancakes, I did it, and gladly. And I’ll do it again, as often as possible. I’ll keep doing things for her she can do for herself. I’ll make her breakfast and pack her lunch and do her laundry. She knows full well how to do these things. She does do these things. But I’ll keep doing them for her a lot of the time while she does so many things I can’t and shouldn’t do for her. I can’t—and wouldn’t—go to school and navigate the minefield of high school friendships. I can’t deal with peer pressure and annoying classmates and incomprehensible geometry and public displays of affection and cringe-inducing dress code violations, all before 9 a.m.
I can’t decide what she wants to be when she grows up when the push to already have figured that out AND to have job-shadowed in that area AND to have decided where she’ll go to grad school so she can be competitive in that field is coming from almost every direction. I can’t run after her dreams and do what has to be done to make them a reality. I can’t practice patience and kindness and self-control when teenage stress, exhaus - tion, and hormones—so many hormones—are bearing down hard. I can’t balance 14 hours most weekdays of aca - demics and extracurriculars and relationships with friends and family, all of them requiring ded - ication and determination. My teenager is the only one who can do these things that matter now and matter for her future. But I can make pancakes for her. And so, that morning, I did. Not because she wouldn’t, but because I was willing. Not because she couldn’t, but because I could. Not because making break - fast is some grand, magnanimous gesture, but because this is how we do family. I do things
111 NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2021 • SPOTLIGHT ON BUSINESS MAGAZINE
110 SPOTLIGHT ON BUSINESS MAGAZINE • NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2021
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