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The Cary Connection AUGUST 2022
We spend our entire lives expecting our parents to protect and care for us. So, when the tables turn and children become their parents’ caregivers, it catches many people off guard. Particularly in cases of cognitive decline, the experience is overwhelming for all involved. People want to believe they’ll be self-sufficient forever. Yet, too often, that belief leaves them unprepared for substantial life changes. Our entire business revolves around planning, but we frequently see what happens when people wait too long to get their affairs in order. It’s not uncommon for us to receive a call from a panicked adult child who wants to know how they can go about obtaining guardianship over a parent. Sometimes, they’re just starting to see the early signs in a parent; other times, they wait until that parent has been completely incapacitated and hospitalized. Adult children don’t always live close to their parents, so it can sometimes be difficult for them to recognize the early stages of cognitive decline. Still, it’s helpful to know the subtle yet critical signs that indicate it’s time for an evaluation. In the early stages of dementia, people often have difficulty remembering appointments and dates or recent conversations and events. Their ability to make decisions also suffers. Common symptoms of cognitive decline include difficulty understanding and following directions, trouble staying organized, or stress over decision-making. Early dementia is also frequently indicated by a worsening sense of direction and increasingly impulsive actions. When Children Become the Caregivers UNDERSTANDING POWERS OF ATTORNEY AND GUARDIANSHIPS
While anyone noticing these signs should encourage their parent to visit a doctor, Cary Estate Planning believes families should prepare before cognitive difficulties begin. Everyone should have an estate plan not only to distribute their assets after their death but also to keep their affairs in order while they’re alive. We urge all of our clients to set up a power of attorney, which grants another person the right to make medical and financial decisions for you if you are unable to make them for yourself. This paperwork should ideally be created far in advance. But if a parent is starting to experience cognitive decline and they do not have the power of attorney paperwork in place, all is not lost. Until full cognitive function is gone, we can still assist with estate planning. Except in rare circumstances, powers of attorney should negate the need for guardianship. But if a power of attorney is not in place before a person is no longer of sound mind, a guardianship can be considered. Despite what you may have heard in the news, guardianship (or conservatorship) is not easy to obtain, it is a thorough process. Only court can create a guardian relationship, and it will not do so unless absolutely necessary. A guardianship allows someone else to control every aspect of a person’s life, so it makes sense that the state wants to be very careful before granting that type of authority. It’s considered the last possible resort, and the process is long and arduous. North Carolina courts require a multidisciplinary evaluation of the person to be placed under guardianship to confirm they cannot care for themselves. Cary Estate Planning is glad to help you understand the rights and responsibilities of a guardian. But whenever possible, we hope you’ll come and see us before that point. A clear plan will reduce the uncertainty and stress for parents and children alike. Call us today for peace of mind so you can fully enjoy the time you have left together.
In addition to our Cary and Wake Forest offices, we’re excited to announce that we now have a new, convenient location in Raleigh located near The Village District:
1033 Wade Ave. Suite 104 Raleigh, NC 27605
We look forward to continuing to help individuals and families in our community with their estate planning needs. Don’t forget to tell your neighbors, coworkers, and family about us! As always, a consultation can be scheduled at any of our three offices on CaryEstatePlanning.com or by giving us a call at 919-762-0896 (24/7) .
-Paul Yokabitus
CaryEstatePlanning.com • 1
Breaking the Busy-Bored Cycle 3 Strategies You Can Use Right Now
It’s a common problem: People spend most of their days feeling too busy, only to feel bored during their free time. So how can you break the habit of scrolling through your phone and watching TV and make the most of the little time you have for yourself? Let’s talk about ways to break the cycle of boredom and busyness thus creating a more fulfilling life.
so you won’t be up late in the day trying to finish something important. If you plan ahead, you can number your tasks from most important to least. This will help ensure high-priority tasks are completed on schedule. 3. Be curious. One way to mute boredom and implement more creativity is by setting daily learning goals. These goals can be anything you want! Setting small goals and accomplishments will keep you curious, motivated, and focused. They also give you something to look forward to each day. Ask yourself what you want to learn today. Do you want to learn about a new culture?
1. Plan ahead. Schedule your days and weeks for an even workload to ensure
your day doesn’t have huge gaps or work overflow. For example, if you have a large project, you can divide it into smaller tasks to keep yourself busy, yet not overwhelmed, throughout the week. You can also plan fun activities each day. This will help
A language? If there is something you’ve always wanted to know, now is the time to put your thinking cap on! Boredom and busyness derive from the same source — there is a lack of quality in how you focus your attention. Luckily, the same strategies apply to both boredom and busyness. These tips will help you create a balanced mindset and allow you to push through your day without feeling overwhelmed or uninspired.
fight boredom and give you something to look forward to when you’re at work or while completing daily tasks.
2. Prioritize tasks.
If you have trouble managing projects to the point where you feel you don’t have enough time, begin prioritizing specific tasks. It’s essential to complete the highest priority tasks
Understanding the Streisand Effect Don’t Throw a Fit
Examples of the Streisand Effect During the 2013 Super Bowl, Beyonce executed an energetic show and BuzzFeed posted photos of the “Fiercest Moments” from her performance. Beyonce’s publicist asked BuzzFeed to remove some of the unflattering photos, and instead they created a new post titled, “The Unflattering Photos Beyonce’s Publicist Doesn’t Want You To See.” Ralph Lauren has fallen victim to the Streisand Effect. An image of a horribly photoshopped model was posted on two blogs: Photoshop Disasters and Boing Boing. Ralph Lauren caught wind of this and took action by sending cease-and-desist letters to the blogs, claiming that it was a violation of copyright law and should be removed. But the image fell under fair use, which allows usage for news and commentaries. Ralph Lauren apologized for the distorted ad but still received backlash. The best way to counter the Streisand Effect is to avoid aggressive tactics when faced with negative information and think carefully and calculatingly in your response. So, if we learned anything from Barbra Streisand, don’t throw a fit if something doesn’t turn out the way you want it to.
If you want to avoid getting unwanted attention in a situation, it’s best to not make a big deal out of it. But if you’re an international superstar, like Barbra Streisand, a seemingly small reaction can become much more than intended. The Streisand Effect The Streisand Effect is a phenomenon that occurs where an act of suppressing information can make the information more widespread. In 2003, photographer Kenneth Adelman of California Coastal Records Project took an aerial photograph of Barbra Streisand’s Malibu estate. Adelman was documenting California’s coast for a project that would provide over 12,000 photos for researchers and scientists to study coastal erosion. But at the time, Streisand believed the photos explicitly showed people how to gain access to her private residence, so she sued Adelman for $50 million. The photo of Streisand’s residence was originally seen a total of six times — twice by her lawyers. Her outburst brought in news outlets who reported her outrage, and in turn, the photo of her residence got blasted everywhere. Not only did she do the exact opposite of what she wanted, but she also lost the lawsuit and had to cover all of Adelman’s legal fees.
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TAKE A BREAK
GET OUTSIDE WITH GEOCACHING Tracking Down Treasures
International Geocaching Day takes place on the third Saturday of the month of August. It’s a chance to experience an adventure-filled day that will get you out of the house and into nature. People of all ages gather to commemorate the placement and discovery of geocaches across the world, and there’s no telling what kind of surprise you might discover if you participate!
What is geocaching?
Geocaching is basically a high-tech version of a treasure or scavenger hunt. It is inspired by the older treasure hunt called letterbox, where you plant clues in various locations that lead to the letterbox. For geocaching nowadays, you use a GPS to track down caches. These are typically waterproof containers — and inside there is a logbook for you to sign. These caches can be filled with trinkets such as coins, pins, or even miniature figurines, but if you take anything, be sure that you replace it with something else. It doesn’t have to be anything expensive, just a token of sorts for someone else to discover.
TASTY BRUSCHETTA CHICKEN
Ingredients
• 4 boneless and skinless
• 3 tomatoes, chopped • 2 cloves garlic, minced • 1 tbsp fresh basil, chopped • Salt and pepper, to taste • 4 slices mozzarella cheese • Parmesan cheese, grated
chicken breasts, pounded to even thickness
It’s time to get started.
• 4 tbsp olive oil • 2 tbsp lemon juice, divided • 1/4 tsp pepper • 1 tsp Italian seasoning
To begin your geocaching journey, first visit Geocaching.com and sign up for a new account. From this, you will be able to create a unique geocacher name that people in the geocache community can call you by! This will also come in handy when you sign the logbook. You can also download the Geocaching app to your smartphone and use it as a GPS receiver. Once you open the map on your phone, it will show a map of your location with bubble icons to see all the geocaches near you. There will be an arrow icon that you can click on that will find the specific geocache you are searching for. It will then open a compass that shows you which direction to go in and how many feet you are away from the final location. This treasure hunt brings an entire community together from all around the world. It encourages people to challenge themselves and get outside. The act of hiding and finding a geocache is thrilling, and you never know what you might find next.
Directions
1. Add chicken to a large resealable bag. 2. In a small bowl, combine olive oil, 1 tbsp lemon juice, pepper, and Italian seasoning. Pour over chicken and seal. Refrigerate for 30 minutes. 3. Turn a grill to medium-high heat and add the chicken. Discard the marinade. Grill chicken 5–7 minutes per side or until fully cooked. 4. Combine the remaining lemon juice, tomatoes, garlic, and basil. Add salt and pepper, to taste. 5. Before taking the chicken off the grill, top each breast with a slice of mozzarella cheese. Cover and cook 2–3 minutes, then serve topped with the tomato mixture and grated Parmesan cheese.
Inspired by Delish.com
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Inside This Issue
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Protecting Parents in Cognitive Decline
Beating Summer Vacation Boredom How Censorship Can Backfire
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Tasty Bruschetta Chicken Enjoy the Adventure and Hunt
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The 50-Yard Challenge
One Lawn at a Time Helping Bring People Together
Today, there is a divide between younger and older generations, but one man is trying to bridge that gap by encouraging boys and girls to give back to their community. In 2016, Rodney A. Smith Jr. saw an elderly man struggling to mow his lawn and decided to finish the job for him. It inspired him to start a movement for children aged 7–17 to give back to their communities by taking on the 50-yard challenge. Kids contribute by mowing lawns for single parents, veterans, seniors, and people who have disabilities. Once they reach their goal, kids will receive T-shirts, a brand-new
At first, the 50-yard challenge took place locally in Alabama. But in the last few years, kids across the U.S. have begun participating. “Right now, we have over 2,400 kids nationwide taking part in our challenge. We also have kids in eight other countries taking part as well,” Smith Jr. says. This challenge teaches children the value of giving back to their communities, but it also encourages them to learn skills in lawn service — which not a lot of young adults know how to do. It also helps them interact with others who they wouldn’t typically talk with. “[Unity and interaction] is important in this day and age. A lot of elderly people are stuck at home, and they don’t get to have a lot of human interaction. So when kids come by, they can talk, get to know each other, and build relationships. They can learn things from each other,” Smith Jr. says. Are you and your kids up for the 50-yard challenge? Send a picture of your child holding a sign that says, “I Accept The 50 Yard Challenge” to WeAreRaisingMen.com/The-50-Yard-Challenge to join. If you’re looking for someone to tend to your yard, you can use the form on WeAreRaisingMen.com/Find-A-Mower to search for kids who are mowing lawns in your area.
mower, a weed eater, and a leaf blower. Smith Jr. will also come out to your community and help you with your lawn care services.
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