Children Get Divorces Too For a long time my husband and I have not been getting along well to gether. Our unhappiness is reflected in the children, which makes them extrem ely nervous, hard to manage, and cross. Since the situation is getting worse and we cccn’t seem to do anything about it, I have decided that it would probably be best for all concerned if 1 filed for divorce. I know it won’t be easy for the children. However, I would like to explain to them so they won’t take it so hard. It seems to me that your problem is much deeper than the one of seek ing an explanation suitable to your children. It is interesting to note that you state I have decided. According to God’s Word, it is not for us Chris tians to decide. God’s instructions and solutions stand the test of time. Human decisions have only tempo rary, if any, real value. One might ask if your contemplated action will solve your problem or add to it. Stud ies reveal that those who marry' the second time are poorer risks than those who marry for the first time. As I counsel with pepple I am im pressed with the misconception which so many have. That misconception is that married couples get along perfectly at all times. Actually, there is no such thing as a perfect human relationship, because we are imper fect people with d iffe r e n t back grounds and beliefs. Many fine cou ples have saved their marriage by carefully discussing their differences and the causes of their differences. It is possible to have a severe problem and yet not thoroughly understand the dynamics of the situation. In summary, there probably is no easy way to explain divorce to chil dren. Little do we realize that every time a parent gets a divorce, the child gets one too!
Questions Young Children Ask M y w ife and I have a boy five years old. Lately he has been asking us “ where babies come from.” A l though we have told him some things, we don’t know just what or how much to say. Can you suggest a good Christian book along this line? Neither my w ife nor I received much help when we were kids, and we’d like to avoid making the same mistake with our own child. This is a common problem.,A nat ural phase of child-growth and de velopment is that of becoming curi ous about one’s body and about the origin of human, beings. At the age of two or three, children make many observations. Nearly all children are certain to begin to ask questions as early as three-and-one-half years and not later than five or six. Parents should be ready to answer their ques tions intelligently rather than evade them. This helps children gain con fidence in parents, and to develop wholesome attitudes. It also helps them spiritually. Children should know and feel that Christ who for gives and saves is interested in their personal lives . . . that to the be liever there is no dichotomy between the secular and the sacred, that every thing is sacred. I do not know of a really good book along this line with a Christian point of view. I am working with a com mittee at this time to publish such, but it will probably be several months before it is ready for distribution. It is suggested that when children raise questions they should be an swered frankly and briefly. Small children do not desire a detailed sci entific explanation. More important to the child is the happy, positive and encouraging way in which a question is answered. In discussing matters pertaining to personal growth and development it is better to use cor rect terms which can grow with the child. Discussions of this nature -are natural and normal for children. We should not make them otherwise.
For some time now we have been hear ing glowing reports on the work of Dr. Clyde M. Narramore, Christian psycholo gist and Coordinator of Research and Guidance, Office of the Los Angeles County Superintendent of Schools. Last month we ran a feature on his life (Psy chologist with the Gospel) and the response was so gratifying that we asked him to do a monthly question and answer column for us. During off-duty hours Dr. Narramore, together with his wife, is active in the Eagle Rock (Calif.) Baptist Church where he is choir director.— Ed. Mental Health What does one mean by the term “mental health,” and how is it re lated to spiritual conversion? Mental health might be described as a positive, dynamic balance amidst stress and strain. One who enjoys good mental health has a wholesome optimistic outlook on life, even though life may not always be rosy. The term mental health was once thought to be closely related to the absence of men tal disease; however, today a far more positive conception is prevalent. A prominent mental health association gives this definition: “Mental health in its broadest sense has come to mean the measure of a person’s ability to shape his environment, to adjust to life as he has to face it and to do so with a reasonable amount of satisfac tion, success, efficiency and happi ness.” With this in mind, may I suggest that one cannot enjoy the greatest measure of mental health unless he. has placed his sins at the foot of the cross, has risen with the knowledge of the indwelling Holy Spirit, has taken God’s Word as his guide, and has experienced the joy of a new vic torious life! The S c rip tu r e s state “ But the wicked are like the troubled sea, when it cannot rest, whose waters cast up mire and dirt. There is no peace, saith my God, to the wicked” (Isa. 57:20, 21). In contrast, the con dition of the true believer is de scribed: “ For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2 Tim. 1:7).
Readers are cordially invited to submit ques tions which will be answered in future issues. Kindly address questions to Dr. Clyde M. Nar ramore, The King's Business, 558 South Hope Street, Los Angeles 17, Calif.— ED.
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