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July 2024
603-894-4141 | 978-969-0331 | LegacyCareLaw.com
One of the most delicate conversations I guide clients through is discussing estate planning with their aging parents. It’s a topic that requires as much compassion as it does diligence. Today, I want to share some insights on how you can approach this critical conversation with sensitivity and respect, ensuring your parents feel empowered and respected throughout the process. Start the conversation. First and foremost, the idea of initiating a talk about estate planning can feel daunting. You might worry about your parents’ reaction to discussing their mortality or the implications of planning for incapacity. However, it’s paramount to approach this conversation with the understanding that it’s not just about the end of life but about making the remaining years as fulfilling and worry-free as possible. One effective way to start is by sharing a personal story or a situation you heard about that underscores the importance of having an estate plan. This can be about someone who benefitted from clear planning or suffered from the lack thereof. This approach can naturally lead to discussing the importance of making sure their wishes are respected and fulfilled. Emphasize their control. Most importantly, when discussing estate planning, it’s vital to emphasize that the process is about protecting their control rather than giving it up. Reassure your parents that estate planning is a means to assert their decisions on health care, asset distribution, and their legacy. It’s about ensuring their wishes are clearly laid out and legally protected. Focus on the practical benefits. Explain how a well-drafted plan avoids the need for the family to go to court to settle their estate, minimizes taxes, and ensures assets are distributed according to their wishes without unnecessary delay or legal hurdles. When you highlight how beneficial estate planning is, you can make it clear how it can simplify financial and medical decisions if they ever become unable to manage their own affairs. Address their concerns with empathy. Your parents will likely have concerns. They may worry about the cost, the complexity of the process, or confronting uncomfortable PLAN WITH RESPECT How to Gently Broach the Topic of Estate Planning With Aging Parents
decisions. Listen to these concerns with empathy. It’s vital that you acknowledge their feelings and provide clear, straightforward answers. Explain that the initial discomfort can prevent significant stress and hardship for their loved ones later on. Choose the right moment. Timing is everything. Choose a relaxed setting without distractions. It might be a quiet afternoon at their home or a private dining room after a family lunch. Ensure the atmosphere is calm and the conversation unhurried. This demonstrates your respect for their comfort and readiness to engage in this meaningful discussion. Keep the conversation going. Estate planning is not a one-and-done conversation. It should be an ongoing dialogue, adapting as circumstances change. Encourage your parents to consider estate planning as part of regular life planning, like annual health check-ups or financial reviews. In my practice, I’ve seen how thoughtfully approaching this topic can not only provide legal and financial security but also bring families closer. It opens up lines of communication about values, life lessons, and family heritage. As daunting as it may seem to start this conversation, the peace of mind it brings to everyone involved is immeasurable. If you’re preparing to discuss estate planning with your aging parents, remember that this conversation is ultimately an act of love and respect. You’re helping them ensure their wishes are honored and that they are protecting what matters most — their family.
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NO MORE NIBBLES Do’s and Don’ts for Training Puppies Not to Bite
Grab Technique Don’t get angry, yell, or react adversely if your puppy mistakenly nibbles on something or isn’t succeeding in their training. You can traumatize your pet if you use physical or verbal force to show them something isn’t allowed. Teething is not an act of aggression; it’s one of exploration. Try what trainers refer to as the “grab technique.” Gently place a finger over and under their muzzle. Though this is uncomfortable for a puppy, it is not painful and reinforces that the behavior is something they must stop. Puppy Party Don’t keep your puppy away from other dogs or people. Socializing and playing with other friendly dogs can teach your puppy by example. Puppies learn how to control their bites naturally when playing with other dogs. If a puppy nibbles on its
Puppies are adorable and entertaining family members, but training them not to bite is crucial as their teeth grow and they learn the rules of companionship. All puppies go through a nibbling phase as they discover the world around them using their mouths. The teething process won’t last forever, but establishing proper training now will stick with them for a lifetime. Here are some do’s and don’ts for training your puppy not to bite. Chew Toys Don’t give puppies chew toys while training them; they are too young and inexperienced to differentiate between what they can chew and can’t. An inexpensive and safe alternative is giving them an ice cube. Not only are these fun for a puppy to chew and won’t damage your home, but they also provide soothing relief for their gums.
playmate too hard, it usually results in a yelp that shows the puppy it was biting too hard. Supervised play opportunities with puppies will also reduce their energy, making them less motivated to chew on you or your belongings. By using gentle corrective actions and positive reinforcement, you can teach your puppy to play with you and others safely. Have patience through the process and trust your puppy’s ability to grow and learn.
Transfer Trouble LIMITATIONS AND RISKS OF TRANSFER ON DEATH DEEDS
Many once-complicated processes have become simplified in the modern age of convenience, such as booking a hotel room online. It can be tempting to try to simplify other parts of our lives with a couple of clicks on a computer. However, when it comes to estate planning, simple does not always mean better. An example of this is the Transfer on Death Deed or TODD. TODDs allow you to name a beneficiary who will receive your property upon your passing. While this seems like an elegant and hassle-free way to establish your inheritance, it has significant downsides and potential pitfalls. Joint Ownership One of the greatest points of contention around TODDs involves joint ownership. If you are a joint owner of a property, the other joint owner will inherit sole ownership upon your death — regardless of whether there is a TODD on record. This
is an especially important issue for married couples, who often share joint ownership of a property, such as a home; this joint ownership will supersede the TODD, even if the intended beneficiary is someone other than your spouse. Disinheriting by Mistake If a will and TODD contain conflicting information regarding property
inheritance, it can cause significant problems for your beneficiaries. Existing TODDs can also resurface and derail other estate plan documents representing the deceased’s most recent and accurate wishes. Because of this, it is important to revoke TODDs before completing new estate plan agreements. Potentially Costly With TODDs, there is no warranty of title, which means a property owner’s debts may be passed on to their beneficiary along with the property. In effect, your beneficiary may be liable for your financial obligations, which can cause undue economic hardship. Another shortcoming with TODDs is that, unlike wills, they cannot be amended and must be revoked. If you want to rework a TODD, you must incur the costs of drafting one entirely from scratch, making the money you spent on your previous TODD meaningless.
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The Unknown Kingdom In the early 14th century, Mali was a flourishing kingdom that profited massively from its seemingly bottomless salt and gold mines. Despite the nation’s wealth, it was largely unknown outside of West Africa. This relative anonymity ended in 1324 when Mansa Musa, a devout Muslim, began his 4,000-mile pilgrimage to Mecca. Mansa Musa did not travel alone; 60,000 men, including over 10,000 slaves and 80 camels, each carrying 300 pounds of gold, accompanied him. The Legend Begins Mansa Musa’s legacy was born during his stop at Cairo, then part of the Mamluk Sultanate. According to a description of the visit written just a few years later, Mansa Musa showered the Mamluk courtiers and merchants with gifts of gold, spending and giving away vast swathes of wealth during his stay. So great was his expenditure that the value of gold plummeted in the country and would not recover for over a decade after Mansa Musa’s pilgrimage. Give and Take More than a giver, Mansa Musa was also a builder and conqueror. He annexed the Kingdom of Songhai in West Africa and the city of Gao, where he would later construct a great mosque. He also established the city of Timbuktu, which became famous as a center for Islamic studies. His reputation as a wealthy and generous ruler is still prevalent today, and some claim that he holds the title of the wealthiest man who ever lived!
The History of the Wealthy and Powerful African Emperor Remembering Mansa Musa
Like a spark, some legends flicker and fade, whereas others give birth to a roaring flame that spreads far and wide. The title of Mansa, which means emperor, was the honorific used by rulers of the ancient kingdom of Mali in West Africa. Musa I inherited the title in 1312, after the kingdom’s last ruler, Mansa Abu Bakr II, set out on an ill-fated voyage to explore the Atlantic Ocean and never returned. While his predecessor may have had grand ambitions, Mansa Musa’s legacy would be immortalized by his astounding achievements.
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9 Red Roof Lane, Salem, NH 03079 603-894-4141 978-969-0331 LegacyCareLaw.com
INSIDE THIS ISSUE
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Empower Your Parents Through Estate Planning Conversations
How to Master Puppy Manners
The Drawbacks of Transfer on Death Deeds
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Quinoa Veggie Bowl
How Mansa Musa’s Splendor Impacted the Ancient World
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An Inside Look at Matthew Perry’s Living Trust THE LASTING IMPACT OF MATTHEW PERRY’S ESTATE TRAGIC LOSS AND LEGACIES
An estate plan is crucial for several reasons: It ensures your assets are distributed according to your wishes after you pass away and minimizes potential disputes among family members. You can also
designate guardians for minor children to ensure they are cared for. Matthew Perry, well-known for his role in “Friends,” proved to be one step ahead when he set up a living trust in 2009. The 54-year-old Hollywood star was found unresponsive after drowning in his Los Angeles, California, home on Oct. 28, 2023. According to NPR, “His drowning, coronary artery disease, and the effects of buprenorphine — a medication used to treat opioid use disorder — were noted as factors that contributed to his death, but were not the primary cause, according to the autopsy results. The death was ruled an accident.” According to a recent filing, most of Perry’s belongings will be placed in the Alvy Singer Living Trust, named after Woody Allen’s character in “Annie Hall.”
beneficiaries. His half-sister, Caitlin Morrison, and ex-girlfriend, Rachel Dunn, were also listed. Perry also indicated that any children he had would not be entitled to access his estate. (He never had children.) According to FindLaw, “The Alvy Singer Living Trust trustees are Lisa Ferguson and Robin Ruzan. Ferguson was Perry’s business manager, and Ruzan was a friend and executive producer. Perry’s estate is valued at over $120 million.” The passing of Matthew Perry marks the end of an era as fans mourn the loss of a talented actor whose work left a significant impact on the entertainment industry. However, beyond his artistic legacy, Perry’s death highlights the importance and benefits of estate planning, the significance of living trusts, and the blessing of orderly distribution of assets. His family is the fortunate recipient of his generous gift.
His father, John Perry, and his mother, Suzanne Morrison, are the trust
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