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Why Friendships Matter
ESPECIALLY IN TIMES OF HARDSHIP
Can you name three people you consider to be your really good friends? If you can, when was the last time you saw or spoke with those people? If it’s been a while, ask yourself why that’s the case. Taking care of the kids, doing house projects, working, attending to other obligations, and growing in different directions are all common reasons. Life goes fast and time gets away from you. We know this very well, and to all our friends who are reading this now, we miss you and hope to see you soon. However, we shouldn’t underestimate the importance of friendship and the value of a good support system.
friends. We each have our separate story, but we were both able to break free because someone who cared for us recognized what was happening and reached out to help. All it took was
breaking up with our partner and “ghosting” them. Once the mindset was broken, we each felt free and independent, like a weight was lifted. It goes to show that this can happen to anyone. Hopefully, you don’t know anyone in a situation like this. But if you do, it’s important to recognize that your friendship matters. Continue to reach out and make contact to let your old friend know that you are still their friend, even though you haven’t connected in a while. Ask them to grab a coffee or take a walk. Even checking in via text regularly can be a helpful way to show your support. Other ideas to reconnect or connect with new friends include attending a volunteer event, such as a beach clean-up or making time at a local animal shelter to comfort pets. Join a local club, like the Costal Conversation Association or the Sierra Club, and invite your friends to do the same. Invite your friends to a horse show, meet for a barn party, or try something new, like axe throwing. There are so many activities that you can do with friends to connect again. Know that reconnecting with old friends can leave a lasting feeling of positive connection and appreciation for that person’s having been there earlier in your life. The family enjoying our first horse show
Here’s another question: Did your list of three close friends include your spouse? If it does not, be thankful. What do we mean? Having a few close friends outside of your relationship is a good indication you’re in a healthy relationship. By contrast, some of our
A family dinner
clients’ spouses have isolated them from their support network and have even told them that they are not allowed to see certain people, including their very good friends. Or they may use more subtle tactics to place pressure on their spouse to not see or speak with their friends. Many of our clients have lost touch with the people they used to depend on and care about. It’s imperative to recognize that this kind of isolation is a tactic that controlling spouses use to weaken their victims, prevent them from hearing others’ perspectives, and bring them into line with their own beliefs and requirements.
We hope that you take some time this month to reach out and really connect with friends.
– Ashley and Christopher Bruce
Before our marriage, Christopher and I had both separately been in long- term relationships where our partners attempted to isolate us from our
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Your Summer Storm Survival GuidE
Go-To Tips for Families
June marks the beginning of summer fun, but something far more dangerous lurks — thunderstorm season. Residents in the Midwest and in the South can experience up to 110 thunderstorms each year. ( Fun fact : Florida is often the stormiest and can see anywhere from 80 to more than 100 days of thundering weather.) Yet, no matter how experienced you are at riding out thunderstorms, each one has the potential to be dangerous. Before the clouds roll in this summer, consult this helpful guide.
Clueing In to a Controlling Spouse
PREPARE PROPERLY AHEAD OF TIME.
Telltale Signs
Take a few moments at the beginning of each summer to review the basics. Create or update an emergency kit — include water bottles, blankets, flashlights, and portable chargers. Nonperishable foods, like jerky or granola bars, can also be beneficial. You should also include a weather radio, which will work when the power goes out and can provide updates from the National Weather Service. Then, identify places where you can take shelter, like in your home, vehicle, or nearby buildings. Store outdoor tools and toys properly and trim trees as needed to prevent wind debris.
In this edition, we’re exploring the value of healthy friendships and the importance of having friends and a solid social support network. As mentioned, if someone you know has drifted away or isn’t maintaining the friendships that were once important to them, this may be a sign that their spouse is controlling. Part of being a good friend is staying attuned to what’s going on in your friends’ lives. Often those closest to us are able to see things that we ourselves may miss or take for granted as normal, even if the behavior itself is far from it. The outside perspective you can provide as a friend is invaluable. That, coupled with your desire for your friends and family to live a happy, fulfilling life, means you may be the first line of defense and the voice of reason for friends in a controlling relationship.
STAY CALM IN THE STORM.
Seek shelter immediately in one of your identified areas. Avoid using landline phones and unplug all appliances, like toasters, TVs, or computers. (Play games, read books, or tell creepy stories to keep the family entertained.) But don’t stand or sit near windows because high winds can knock trees or other debris through the window. Staying away from your sinks and showers is also vital! If lightning strikes your home, it can travel through the water stream and strike you.
If you notice any of the following behaviors, your friend may be in an unhealthy relationship with a controlling partner:
FOLLOW SAFETY GUIDELINES DURING A POWER OUTAGE.
• Their spouse makes promises on important issues and then breaks them.
Don’t panic! Utilize your emergency kit and rely on your flashlights, rather than light candles, which could start a fire. Avoid opening your refrigerator or freezer to limit how much cold air escapes and never eat meat or dairy products that are 40 degrees F or warmer. You’re also at risk for increased exposure to carbon monoxide if you use a gas stove, generator, or space heater to warm up. Avoid doing this as much as possible. Listen for updates on your weather radio and evacuate when necessary.
• Their spouse puts them down in front of other people.
• Their spouse doesn’t seem to care about their feelings or hurting them.
• Their spouse gets upset or angry for trivial reasons.
• Their spouse is obsessed with money or hides important details of shared finances.
For more ways to prepare for storm season, visit RedCross.org.
• Their spouse makes threats about what will happen if they try to leave.
• Their spouse accuses them of being unfaithful but is unfaithful themself.
Is your friend or client in need of a guide related to recent job or income loss? The book can be downloaded for FREE at SupportModificationBook.com. If your friend or client lives in the South Florida area, we’ll mail them a hard copy of the book upon request. OUR SUPPORT MODIFICATION BOOK CAN HELP!
It can be difficult to notice these red flags if your friend or family member’s spouse has been successful in isolating them from those they were once close to. That’s why it’s important to check in if you suspect something is going on. Always show up for scheduled meet-ups, especially if someone you know is in an especially vulnerable situation. Your encouragement and support will mean a lot. If you know someone who’s in a controlling situation and they’re ready to talk about their options for moving forward, let them know we specialize in these cases. Our website, BruceLawPA.com, has a plethora of free resources, and we’re just a phone call away.
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Make the Most of Your Friendships
How to Expand or Deepen Your Social Circle Little kids can make friends in an instant. A shared love of the same Disney character or even a favorite color can be enough to kick-start a friendship. As an adult, it can be more difficult to make or maintain friends. As Ashley and Christopher said in the cover, as life gets busy, our friendships can fall by the wayside. Spending time with friends can help boost your mood, reduce depression and anxiety, and increase your sense of self-worth, which is why it’s worth prioritizing. If you know someone who’s coming out of a controlling relationship, they may need to rebuild their friendships and support network after years of alienation. Here are a few ways to help.
EXPAND YOUR CIRCLE
DEEPEN EXISTING RELATIONSHIPS
It may be more difficult for adults to make new friends than it is for kids, but the good news is that a lot of adults are in the same position! There are plenty of new friends to be had, but you’ll have to take a little initiative. To meet new people with shared interests, take a class, join a club, or volunteer for a cause you care about. If you’ve been less social in the last year because of the pandemic, think of this year as a reset. As things begin to open back up and there are more opportunities to socialize, take advantage! Acquaintances already in your social circle can also turn into friends. If you want to build on an acquaintanceship, simply ask that person if they’d like to grab a coffee or a meal together. Let them know you enjoy their company and would love to spend more time together.
If you’ve got great friends in your life but you aren’t prioritizing those friendships, try scheduling your friend get-togethers in advance. Take that appointment as seriously as you’d take a doctor’s appointment! Make a standing date or be sure to get the next hang-out session on the calendar before you part ways. Once you’re prioritizing your time together, make sure to fully devote your attention to your friend. It’s quality, not quantity that matters when it comes to time spent together. Turn off your phone and be a good listener.
Finally, express your gratitude to your friend for supporting and encouraging you during the difficult times and for all the laughter and fun.
Bruce Law TEAM
Easy Tuna Poke Bowl
Inspired by TheKitchn.com
Ingredients
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2 tsp soy sauce
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2 tbsp cilantro leaves, chopped
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1 tsp sesame oil
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1 scallion, finely chopped
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2 tbsp orange juice
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1 cup rice, cooked and cooled
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1-inch piece fresh ginger, peeled and minced
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1/4 cup avocado, cubed
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4 cherry tomatoes, quartered
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10 oz canned tuna, drained
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1 tbsp sesame seeds
Directions
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First, make the dressing. In a jar, add soy sauce, sesame oil, orange juice, and ginger. Secure the lid and shake until emulsified. In a small bowl, empty the drained tuna and pour the dressing over top. Add the
cilantro and scallions and stir until well coated. Divide rice between two serving bowls. Top with the dressed tuna, avocado, tomatoes, and sesame seeds.
Bruce Law Firm supporting the Palm Beach County Horseman’s Association
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Friendship Matters page 1
Telltale Signs of a Controlling Spouse Ride Out Thunderstorms With These Basic Tips page 2
How to Make the Most of Your Friendships Easy Tuna Poke Bowl page 3 The Super Benefits of Yoga page 4
The Super Benefits of Yoga
June 21 is International Yoga Day, which makes it a great time of year to talk about the unique benefits of yoga — the “superfood” of fitness. As a mixture of exercise and mindfulness, yoga is not only challenging but also has myriad health benefits. Many people assume yoga is mainly useful for increasing your flexibility. However, it’s also excellent for further developing your strength, mobility, and balance. These can be key benefits for living a healthier lifestyle, whether you’re an athlete or concerned about aging.
Multiple studies agree: Yoga can significantly decrease the secretion of cortisol, the primary stress hormone. In one study, 64 women with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) participated in a 10-week program, performing yoga at least once a week. By the end of the 10 weeks, 52% of participants no longer met the criteria for PTSD at all. As with starting any new hobby or regular exercise, it may help to set clear goals for yourself. By doing yoga regularly, there are several physical improvements you can look forward to, such as:
Kaitlyn Hochart, a yoga instructor from San Diego, California, writes on Healthline, “During yoga, your body goes through a full range and variety of motion that can counteract aches and pains associated with tension or poor postural habits.” Yoga can help you become more aware of these habits, “[allowing] you to fix these imbalances and improve overall athleticism.” Many forms of exercise are useful against depression and cardiovascular disease, but in yoga’s case, you don’t have to break a sweat to start benefiting from its stress-relieving properties. “The breathing exercises you practice during yoga can help lower your heart rate and shift your nervous system into a more relaxed state. It also promotes better sleep and increased focus,” Hochart writes.
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Improved range of motion or ease of movement A reduction in pain, discomfort, or other symptoms An increase in physical strength and endurance
Less weight fluctuation
Changes in the way your clothes fit
Better-quality sleeping habits and increased or stabilized energy levels
One of the best qualities of yoga is that you can be of any age or fitness level. So, pull up a YouTube video, find a soft surface, and give it a try!
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