It can come softly at first.
remember.
A pause when trying to recall the sound of their laugh. A sudden uncertainty—were their eyes more green or blue? Or perhaps it arrives all at once, a wave of worry crashing against the quiet understanding that, despite your love and effort, some memories seem to fade. This is one of the quieter griefs: the fear of forgetting. We’ve met countless families who are terrified of losing the memory of their loved one—not just the big milestones, but the tiny details. And it’s important to know: this is normal. It doesn’t mean you didn’t love them enough, or that you aren’t trying hard enough to
Research supports this. A 2023 study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that grief can affect memory, especially autobiographical memory—our ability to recall specific events tied to personal experiences. The study noted that those experiencing prolonged grief often reported feeling as though memories were inaccessible or blurred, a phenomenon linked to the brain’s response to emotional overwhelm. So what can you do when memories feel slippery? How do you hold on without feeling like you’re chasing something you can’t catch?
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