permission to be here,” Lowe emphasizes. “A lot of mothers fear the stigma of ‘I’m supposed to be happy, I’m supposed to be excited, I’m supposed to want this and I’m scared to death.’” Tools that Lowe gives her clients include mindful self compassion, cognitive behav- ioral therapy, identity work, and mostly just talking. “A simple thing a person can do is talk to someone who loves them and cares about them and helps them remember who they are, helps them remember their strengths, their goals, their why.” Move your body, go for a walk, get good sleep, eat, and drink water. All those things can make a change to your mood and thought process. If things are sticking around for longer than seven days in a row, it might be something more than a typical adjustment. “Anything that can be discussed can be healed,” says Lowe. “So just talk about it and know that there is a place to do that. You’re not alone.”
to just do what feels good and right, Lowe acknowledges. She has found in her field that when a parent is separated from what feels right, there is a dissonance that leads to constriction, fear, and insecurity. TOOLS TO HELP Typical adjustment to postpartum life is characterized by everything being a little off kilter, but having a general sense of the direction and staying on track. If it deviates, then it can lead to an adjustment disorder or diagnosed postpartum depression. “Disordered means that what’s happening is significant enough in my day to day that I’m starting to fall behind. I am starting to struggle in my sense of self. I’m not able to return to work, or I’m struggling with hygiene,” Lowe explains. If feeling disordered, Lowe recommends getting blood work done to make sure to rule out any medical explanation such as hormone imbalance. Additional resources are to seek therapy or a support group. “Really it is also about normalizing the experience and then giving the emotions
you’re a mother?” Lowe asks her clients. Regarding their body, Lowe knows a lot of moms attach their value to how they look and how they’ve been programmed to feel about how looks are their value. She says some new moms have to form new relation- ships with what health looks like for them and what the value of their body is besides how they look. AGE OF INFORMATION In a social-media world portraying the “bounce-back” culture, Lowe says she asks clients what their motive is when it comes to looking to social media. If it is externally driven, like comparing yourself, it can be harmful. If it’s implicitly inspiring, like look- ing at a woman, a mom, who did something cool and thinking that you can do it too because you know you are capable, and it feels right and good, then Lowe says it can be helpful. We live in an age of information, and Lowe says that parents become quick to sacrifice their intuition in favor of the latest science or opinion. The trick to finding your own intuition and leaving behind the doubt is
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