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After All These Years Secrets for a Lasting Marriage
ground on where you live or how many children you will have. Sometimes, one side will need to give in. When that’s the case, make sure it’s not always your spouse who doesn’t get what they want. But even more importantly, don’t accept a resolution that will leave you bitter and resentful. FIGHTING, FORGIVING, AND FORGETTING No matter how excellent your communication skills are, every couple will have disagreements. How you deal with them can make or break your marriage. It starts by accepting responsibility for your mistakes rather than blaming your spouse and avoiding arguments while you’re angry. It ends with learning how to make up. Be willing to apologize and just as willing to forgive. Remember, too, that holding grudges is unhealthy. Arguments are also usually not about the dishes or laundry you’re fighting about. Stop having conflict over trivial matters by determining the root cause of the issue and resolving that instead. You’ll both be happier. BEING YOUR OWN PERSON A married couple is a team, but you’re also still unique individuals with your own thoughts, desires, and needs. You’ll both grow and change throughout your relationship, but you can learn to do so together. At the same time, having outside interests and friends and spending time
apart are healthy. Doing your own thing doesn’t mean you love your spouse any less. KEEPING IT FRESH After decades, anything can become monotonous. To avoid letting boredom creep in, remind yourself daily why you fell in love in the first place. But also look to the future by trying new things together. Further, you can help keep the spark alive by surprising your spouse now and then. Buying flowers or doing something nice doesn’t need a special occasion, and the gesture will show your spouse how much you value them. LEARNING AS YOU GO None of us are perfect. We all have quirks that make us difficult to live with, and no one gives you a marriage handbook after you walk down the aisle — it’s 100% on-the- job training. When the going gets tough, it may signify that you need new skills, not a new spouse. As one client told me, if you think marriage would have been easier with someone else, think again. Marriage can make you a better or worse person; the choice is entirely yours. But if you’re both patient, loving, and loyal, the hard times will end. The best you can do is try to enjoy the good and bad together while appreciating all the small joys life brings.
Happy Valentine’s Day! If you’re fortunate enough to have a special someone, I hope you take some time to appreciate them on the holiday and every day of the year. Patti and I have been married for over three decades, which is quite an accomplishment. But that’s not to say we didn’t have any help along the way. For much of my career, I’ve worked with people married even longer than Patti and me. Whenever I meet a couple that has been married for 50 years or more, I asked them for a few words of wisdom about what makes a successful marriage. These are some of the things they’ve told me. COMMUNICATION AND COMPROMISE These are two cornerstones of any marriage. A couple that can’t be open, honest, and giving with each other probably won’t last. But honesty isn’t the same as saying every thought that comes to your mind. If you’re thinking, “I really shouldn’t say this,” don’t say it! Also, remember that it’s better to have a conversation that requests a change than to complain or criticize. Essential though it is, compromise can be tricky. After all, it’s difficult to find a middle
–Craig Hersch
1 (239) 265-9779
FEBRUARY 2023
Spending Valentine’s Day With the Family? Try Out These Activities
Valentine’s Day demands most of the attention in February. This holiday is designated for couples to share their love and do things
to each other. Encourage your kids to share their happy memories and explain why they love each person. This can be a fun and educational activity for your kids as you can help them with their spelling and grammar. HAVE A FANCY DINNER. You don’t need to go out to have an extravagant Valentine’s dinner. You can make one at home by incorporating the same ingredients as the dishes you would get at a restaurant. Or you can order from your favorite restaurant and pick it up. Use a fancy tablecloth, light some candles, and have fun with it. Don’t forget to include a special dessert; you can even make mocktails to amp up the fun. FINISH THE NIGHT WITH A MOVIE. Valentine’s Day is often one of the busiest nights of the year for movie theaters, but you don’t have to go out to enjoy a movie during the holiday. Head to your favorite streaming service and find some family-friendly romantic comedies to watch together. “The Princess Diaries,” “Lady and the Tramp,” and “Gnomeo and Juliet” are all great options.
they greatly enjoy together. While this usually consists of dinner dates, a movie, and possibly even some dancing, some parents have a difficult time getting away. Maybe they can’t find a babysitter, or
one of the kids is ill, causing them to cancel plans. You might think there’s no point in celebrating the holiday if you can’t do so with just your significant other, but you can turn Valentine’s Day into a family-friendly event. Here are a few activities to try if you’re spending Valentine’s with the kids this February. WRITE LOVE NOTES TO EACH OTHER. Valentine’s Day is all about love, so what better way to celebrate it than by sharing your love with those closest to you? Take a moment and have every member of your family write love notes
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Protecting Your Cardiovascular Health
Your heart works hard for you, beating 2.5 million times throughout an average lifetime, so it’s fair to say we owe it a little something in return. But too many of us take our hearts for granted, assuming they’ll always be there for us. February is American Heart Month, aiming to bring awareness to the risks of heart disease, the U.S.’s leading cause of death. Cardiovascular disease has a genetic component, but much of the risk comes from lifestyle factors. The decisions we make every day can contribute to our chances of developing heart disease in the future. Unsurprisingly, smoking is one of the top risk factors for heart disease, and even secondhand smoke increases your risk. But our diet and exercise choices also play a crucial role in our heart health. Ideally, our diets should mainly consist of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, poultry, and fish. Diets heavy in “white” carbohydrates (bread, pasta, rice), red meat, and sugar raise your chances of developing heart disease. Salt is also an enemy of a healthy heart. Meanwhile, everyone should aim for 150 minutes per week of cardiovascular exercise — that is, physical activity that increases your heart rate. Even brisk walking can improve your health!
Other factors that play a role include excess weight and alcohol consumption. Women should consume no more than one
standard drink daily, while men should limit themselves to two. And while weight loss is challenging, it will likely be aided by a healthier diet and more exercise. Various medical conditions also contribute to the development of heart disease. High cholesterol, high blood pressure, and Type 2 diabetes all increase your risk. So, it’s crucial to visit your doctor for regular checkups and take your medications as prescribed. Proper stress management and adequate sleep also typically lead to improved heart outcomes. While 700,000 Americans died of heart disease in 2020, many deaths were preventable. Interventions to improve your heart health work best when you start early, but it’s never too late to make a positive change and reduce your risk. The sooner you take better care of your heart, the more likely you will live a long, heart-healthy life.
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floridaestateplanning.com
The Benefits of a Living Trust
Is One Right for Your Estate Plan?
Every person must make a lot of decisions when creating an estate plan. One of the largest is whether to utilize a will or a living trust, a tool for passing assets and property directly to beneficiaries upon your death without probate. There are many advantages to creating a trust over a will, but you must decide which trust best accommodates your situation. A will states your wishes for how you would like your assets distributed in your passing and designates guardians for your children. However, wills must go through probate court before your heirs receive their inheritance. With a trust, you can state how you would like the assets to be distributed in more detail. For example, property can be held until the beneficiary turns a certain age, and assets can be managed a certain way in the event of your incapacitation and inability to make decisions. Anyone interested in a trust must decide whether to use a revocable or irrevocable trust. With a revocable trust, you can retain control of your assets and revoke the trust at any time. Under a properly drafted irrevocable trust, the grantor can also maintain control of their assets but with additional protections. This type of trust is often used to plan for long-term care and can help ensure qualifications for needs-based services like Medicaid.
Utilizing a trust has numerous advantages
over a will. The first is its ability to avoid probate. Probate is a public process that takes months to complete, so many people, understandably, wish to
avoid it. Trusts also help avoid estate taxes for grantors with considerably valuable estates. Finally, trusts allow you to plan for incapacity. If you cannot make decisions for yourself, the trustee of your living trust can make decisions on your behalf based on your stated wishes. Every estate is unique, so each person should consider circumstances in detail with their estate planner. The Sheppard Law Firm has nearly a century of experience in dealing with all the nuances of trusts and estate planning. We understand that an estate plan is not a one-size-fits-all solution, and we would be happy to assist you in deciding the best options that suit your unique situation.
Chocolate Pots de Creme
TAKE A BREAK!
INGREDIENTS
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9 oz high-quality semisweet chocolate, chopped
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5 tbsp granulated sugar (add an extra tbsp if using bitter chocolate)
• • •
1 1/2 cups whole milk
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1/4 tsp salt
1 1/2 cups heavy cream, divided
1 tbsp powdered sugar
6 large egg yolks
DIRECTIONS 1. Place chopped chocolate into a blender. 2. In a heavy-bottomed medium saucepan, whisk the milk, 1 cup of cream, egg yolks, granulated sugar, and salt over medium heat. Cook, constantly stirring with a spatula until the mixture is almost boiling, 5–6 minutes. Immediately pour the milk mixture over the chocolate in the blender. 3. Cover and blend until smooth. 4. Divide the mixture among ramekins or small cups and refrigerate until set (about 2 hours). 5. Whip the remaining 1/2 cup cream and the powdered sugar with a mixer until soft peaks form. 6. Top chilled pots de creme with whipped cream and serve.
ANSWER ON TOP OF PAGE 4
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INSIDE this issue
SUDOKU ANSWER
Making Your Marriage Last PAGE 1 3 Family-Friendly Valentine’s Day Activities PAGE 2 Commemorating American Heart Month PAGE 2 Is a Living Trust Right for You? PAGE 3 Take a Break! PAGE 3 Chocolate Pots de Creme PAGE 3 Brushing Up on Cruise Etiquette PAGE 4
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Know Your Cruise Etiquette Before Setting Sail
4 floridaestateplanning.com which tends to have an upscale vibe. The rest of your cruise wear should be atmosphere, while others prefer a casual approach. Ideally, review the dress policy before you book your trip. Bring at least one formal outfit in your luggage for dinner, After a slump in 2020 and 2021, cruises are back in a big way. If you’re planning your first onboard adventure — or it’s been a while since you last set sail — now is the time to brush up on your cruise ship etiquette. Every passenger should read their cruise line’s policies to ensure they know all the specifics before climbing aboard. In the meantime, we’ve listed some of the most essential do’s and don’ts for the savvy traveler. KNOW WHAT TO WEAR. Some cruise lines aim for a fancy
casual but tasteful, leaving you looking put together. Most importantly, don’t overpack — the stateroom is smaller than you think. DON’T BE A CHAIR HOG. Everyone wants a prime spot on the sundeck, but you’ve got to rise early in the morning to get one. That’s fine if you can manage it, but “saving” a seat by putting a towel on it and then wandering away for breakfast or a mani-pedi is the best way to get on your fellow travelers’ bad side. Your cruise may also have a policy against it. Going to the bathroom is one thing; you’re only human. Otherwise, if you want the seat, stay in it. BE ON TIME. Treat your cruise ship like an airplane — if you’re not on time, it’s probably leaving
without you. And if you are lucky enough to have the ocean liner wait, your fellow passengers won’t look at you kindly. Set your watch to ship time (not local time) and prepare to be back an hour before the deadline. That way, if you happen to be late, you’ll still be on time. You may miss out on an extra drink or souvenir shop, but nothing will ruin your cruise faster than being left behind at the dock.
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