Has COVID Killed the Mall Santa?
When you step back and look at him from the right angle, Santa Claus is some combination of action hero and reverse cat burglar. The guy is fearless. Who else could land a team of flying reindeer atop a house in a snowstorm, only to roll up his red sleeves, tell someone to “Hold my cocoa,” and then benevolently commit 500 million cases of breaking and entering in a single night?
But then COVID-19 happened... Now, welcoming kids onto his lap is about as safe as defusing a bomb. And that’s where the star of our show draws the line. He may have nerves of steel, but Santa’s not suicidal. “A lot of Santas I know just aren’t going to do it this year,” says Fred Salinsky, chairman of the International Brotherhood of Real Bearded Santas. “Some of them, you know, they’ve got diabetes or health issues and don’t want to take the chance. I mean, I’m losing Santas all the time with strokes and heart attacks.” Salinsky is referring to professional Santa Clauses, those jolly, red-suited grandpas found at malls or grand marshalling
Christmas parades every December. However, their white beards, round waistlines, and all that close physical contact puts them in the crosshairs of the CDC’s riskiest COVID-19 categories. Of course, changes must be made. “About 25% of Santas are doing everything they normally do, about 25% are trying to do their normal schedule but making sure there are some kinds of protections,” one Santa from Tennessee tells Slate, “About 25% are not performing at all, and then about 25% of them will be doing nothing but virtual visits.” Once again, 2020 has thrown another industry into complete chaos... so much chaos that Gilbert Gottfried might just be their savior.
American Consequences
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