NEXT AVENUE SPECIAL SECTION
Operation Closet Space: How to Get Your Adult Children’s Stuff Out of Your Home By Kathleen Doheny
My adult son moved out years ago, after college. Now, he's happily married, with two gorgeous children. They live just 10 miles away, so I get to see them often, which I love. Now for the challenge, which you probably guessed was coming. Shaun moved out, but his stuff, or lots of it, has stayed. Old CDs, clothing, college memorabilia, school papers, car cleaning gear, big black ramps for getting under the car that I didn't buy and don't plan to use. The no-closet-space issue has been an issue for, well, years. I have a 1,100-square foot cracker box I feel lucky to have, but it gets cramped when you collect things over the decades. And I have a shoe habit! So began — or rather continued — Operation Closet Space. Deadlines I had suggested for going through, sorting, tossing, taking away had come and gone. Besides the foot stomp, what else works? Here are some how-to tips from those in-the-know who've been in your shoes: • “Give your kids a deadline,” suggested Jeanne Taylor, an organizational expert who runs tailorly, a San Francisco Bay Area home organizational service. “If they don’t get their stuff out by the agreed upon date, tell them you will donate their things.” Be realistic about the timeline, follow up and don’t fold. • For far-away adult children, text photos of their stuff and ask them to mark up the items they don’t want, Taylor said. Box up the rest, ship it or hold it for their pickup.
• “Decide who is having the problem about getting rid of the stuff,” Taylor said. She finds many parents are sentimental and blaming their kids for their lack of space when it’s them who can’t part with the stuff. • Keep perspective. The accumulated stuff issue isn’t just one of younger adults. Most of us collect too much and discard too little.
• Forget the “nagging is no good” advice. Sometimes it works.
• Break it down into phases: sorting, deciding, packing up, throwing away and donating.
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