Issue 3 April

Here’s what I have learned about surviving the unthinkable.

Let Yourself Feel Everything There is no “right” way to grieve. Some days, you may cry so hard you can’t breathe. Other days, you may feel numb, almost guilty for not crying. There will be moments of anger, moments of regret, and moments of longing where you whisper to yourself, I wish I could go back in time and spend every moment with all my children. Every emotion you feel is valid. Suppressing the pain will only make it heavier. Give yourself permission to feel everything, no matter how messy or unpredictable it may be. Be There for Your Other Children One of the hardest things about grieving as a parent is realizing that your other children are grieving too. They have lost a sibling, and in some ways, they have lost the version of you they once knew. While you may feel broken, they still need love, reassurance, and stability. Some days, just sitting together in silence is enough. Other days, sharing memories, even allowing laughter to mix with tears, can help heal you both. Hold Onto Your Marriage Grief can either push people apart or bring them closer. You and your spouse may grieve differently, and at times, it may feel like you are on separate islands of pain. There may be moments of frustration, moments where you misunderstand each other’s silence or words. But making the choice to hold onto each other, to allow space for individual grief while still walking this road together, can make all the difference. Talking, therapy, and simply remembering that you are both hurting in your own way can help you stay connected.

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